Allowing children to make their own choices on. Evaluate my essay before I get in to the real test.

[Dell1]

Essay question on task 2;

"Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion."

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This is my essay that I have tried, please give me comments.
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Decision making is a prominent issue in daily life. There is no shortage of debate about whether permitting children to decide their own preference on everyday matters is likely to make them selfish or help them to be a good decision maker on issues that affect them. In my opinion, decision of children on their day to day life has both advantage and its own drawback. I feel this way for several reasons, which I will explore on the following essay.

On the one hand, the children will grow up only thinking for themselves, and it will make them selfish. Moreover, considering their own feeling will hurt their family, friends and their community. To be more specific, I had a fried that we mate at secondary school. His family are poor. We joined university together, but he waste a lot of money on the stuffs like expensive shoes, clothes, eating sumptuous food and on recreation beyond his capacity. Then, I started to ignore him due to his behaviour, that resulted from his background. His mother used to give him money to spend it on whatever he wants, so that habit continued and affect back his family as well as make him lonely. As a result, allowing children to make their own choice will make them so selfish.
On the other hand, it will help them to build confidence on the situation that harm them badly. Children will grow up and start to live their own life, so at this time it will be essential to make a good decision on the events they encounter. For instance, as I mentioned above my friend is more confident and have good outstanding than any of us at this time. Currently, he is planning to have a wedding, which is good but needs strong decision that most of us fail to do. For this reason, people will build confidence if they grow up making their own choice.

In my opinion, allowing children to make their own decision is good, because it will make them to be successful person in their future life, but is has to have boundary.

To put it in a nut shell, in every day matter children who make their own decision will make them individuals but build them confidence. Therefore, families have to make limitation to what they have to do.

[Flick]

Essay question on task 2;

"Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion."

=============================================================================================================================

This is my essay that I have tried, please give me comments.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Decision making is a prominent issue in daily life. There is no shortage of debate about whether permitting children to decide their own preference on everyday matters is likely to make them selfish or help them to be a good decision maker on issues that affect them. In my opinion, allowing children to make decisions in their day to day life has both advantages and drawback. I feel this way for several reasons, which I will explore on the following essay.(<--Reword to: "This essay will discuss the issue before coming to a reasoned conclusion.")

On the one hand, children will grow up only thinking for themselves, and it may make them selfish. Moreover, considering their own feeling will hurt their family, friends and their community.(<--I don't understand this sentence. Why does considering their own feelings hurt their family?) To be more specific, I had a friend that I met at secondary school. His family are poor. We joined university together, but he wasted a lot of money on things like expensive shoes, clothes, eating luxury food and on recreation beyond his capacity. Due to his behaviour, I started to avoid him. His mother used to give him money to spend it on whatever he wanted, so that habit continued and affected his family as well as made him lonely. As a result, allowing children to make their own choices may make them selfish.

On the other hand, it will help them to build confidence. Children will grow up and live their own life, so it is essential for them to be able to make good decisions on the events they encounter. For instance, as I mentioned above, my friend is more confident than any of us. Currently, he is planning a wedding, which is good but needs strong decisions that most of us struggle to make. For this reason, people will build confidence if they grow up making their own choices.

In my opinion, allowing children to make their own decisions is good, because it will help them to be successful in their future life, but there must be limits. In summary, in every day matters, children who make their own decisions will build confidence. Therefore, families have to set limits on what decisions they can make.

[Dell1]

Thank you very much!
I hope I will make a progress.

[Dell1]

I did not get the idea on introduction.
Do I have to include my opinion or not?
I think there may be a minus for Task Response if I may not include it.

What about this one?;

Decision making is a prominent issue in daily life. There is no shortage of debate about whether permitting children to decide their own preference on everyday matters is likely to make them selfish or help them to be a good decision maker on issues that affect them. This essay discusses both views, and in my opinion, allowing children to make decisions in their day to day life has both advantages and drawback. I feel this way for several reasons, which I will explore on the following essay.



Secondly,

Can I write like this if I am only supporting one view?;

.......that affect them. This essay discusses both views, however, in my opinion, allowing children to make decisions in their day to day life has advantages. I feel ...................


Help me please, I have only 1 week left for my exam.