Request for Evaluation: Task 2

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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edanestacion
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Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 4:25 pm

Request for Evaluation: Task 2

Post by edanestacion »

Could anyone please rate and correct my essay? If anyone is eligible to give me a band score, please do so. Thank you so much.

Write about the following topic:

Many people say it is impossible to achieve a healthy work-life balance these days because they have to work longer hours to afford a modern lifestyle.
Others believe more time could be spent on leisure activities or with family and friends if people managed their free time better.


Discuss both views and say how you think the situation will develop in the future.


In this competitive world, some people prioritize work and allocate most of their time on it. However, some commentators believe that free time should be expended more on fun activities with family members and other significant individuals. In this essay, both outlooks will be discussed and the likely progress of this situation will be explained.

To begin with, individuals strive hard in order to survive and maintain a lifestyle they desire to have. This is because employment status is considered as a basis of how advantaged they are in the modern world. For instance, many employees are fixated with contributing extra effort and time on their careers to achieve a very satisfactory rate from their employers, which can lead to promotion and an increase in monetary income and financial stability. Therefore, some people suggest that achievement of work-life balance is unfeasible.

On the other hand, persons that appreciate the importance of quality time for family and themselves arrange their time wisely. This is largely because they value doing leisure activities with individuals dearest to them more than spending extra time at the workplace. Meaningful uses of free time, such as travelling and engaging in group activities, strengthen family ties. Therefore, the argument that effective time management can render increased opportunities for leisure has been accepted by many.

In conclusion, reasonable time management is the key. Both the desires for work productivity and freedom to hold one's time must be carefully considered to achieve a healthy work-life balance. In the near future, state authorities could implement a law compressing working days to only four days a week but with longer hours to extend the number of non-working days, generating more free time.
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