Task 2 (17.12.2016)

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Aky
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Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2016 6:47 am

Task 2 (17.12.2016)

Post by Aky »

Task 2
Question:
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do agree or disagree?
My response:
The issue of whether universities should be received equal numbers of male and female students in all subjects or not is certainly a contentious topic in today’s world. It is my personal conviction that the benefits of accepting an equal sex students far outweigh it drawbacks. Two of the principal reasons for this trend are as follows.

Firstly, the lessons would be more interesting and understandable if there were equal boy and girl students. For instance, an equal-sex environment is more representative of real live, meaning that plenty more students are really interested in cooperating and studying with opposite sex partners. Yet, it is an indisputable fact that university subjects would be too boring to study, if they received single sex students. Thus, universities should educate both type of gender of students.

Secondly, an equal sex university can provide with better social skills for the future life or job. One particularly example of this are classes in which male and female students have to socialize and work together. However, single sex university students cannot master these kind of skills which are required in areas such as socializing, communicating and so on. Therefore, it is often said that student should attend and take part in an equal sex universities.

To sum up, I once again reaffirm my position that universities should be received an equal sex students because this allows to learn new skills and be useful person in the society.

(221 words)

What can you recommend on this essay to improve ?????????
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Task 2 (17.12.2016)

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

1. I'm not sure how contentious this topic is in the world, though in some parts of the world it certainly is!

2. In the first main paragraph, I think that the 'more interesting' is just about explained, but the 'more understandable' is not explained to a satisfactory degree. Surely making the lectures and seminars 'understandable' is up to the tutor?

3. In the second main paragraph, the 'social skills' idea is easily demolished by pointing out that students can (and usually do) socialise outside classes. (You did write 'cannot'!) An additional point to make here is that in parts of the world where male and female students studying together is 'contentious', socialising together is even more 'contentious'!

Overall, grammatical range is narrow, though accuracy is good. Vocabulary is not used to create a coherent argument and points are weak or simply false.

All the best,
David
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