exam is coming soon, pls help task 2

[rairaichan0323]

Science has been developing rapidly over the past few years and it becomes practical for scientists to find a way to make people live for 100 years, or maybe over 200 years. Some people believe this is a good thing while others believe this brings more issues. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

In the present age, science is transforming our lives at a staggering rate. Some scientists are looking for a way to make people live for 100 years, or even over 200 years. Some people argue that the people can benefit from it while many others believe that it may create problems. This point of view will be discussed before arriving a satisfactory outcome.

On the one hand, some people are in this position that the scientists intend to extend individuals’ lives to be over a century are the excellent thing as the elderly people are able to share their experiences to the descendants. For instance, the grandfather or grandmother can share their first-hand experiences of the World War II such as the disadvantages of the war. Thus, it can raise the offspring awareness of the significance of the harmony. Hence, it is clear why some people gravitate towards elongating human life is beneficial thing.

On the other hand, some are convinced that the lives’ extension will bring numerous issues since the elderly people will be overly dependent on the government for affording considerable perks. To illustrate, the senior citizens frequently require a large amount of medical treatments due to various ailments in their later lives. It is obvious from this that they will create severe financial constraints to the government in order to meet their needs. After analyzing this point of view, it is certainly true that why many people support this claim.

In conclusion, the issue of the extension of human lives is supported and refuted by many. However, after analyzing these points of view, I believe that it is not necessary for scientists to try to make people lives’ longer.

[durai]

Science has been developing rapidly over the past few years and it becomes practical for scientists to find a way to make people live for 100 years, or maybe over 200 years. Some people believe this is a good thing while others believe this brings more issues. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

In the present age, science is transforming our lives at a staggering ratestaggering rate ?. Some scientists are looking for a way to make people live for 100 years, or even over 200 yearsdon't repeat phrase form the question, they may deduct from word count. Some people argue that the people can benefit from it while manyanyone 'many' or 'others', not both others believe that it may create problems. Both sides will be discussed before arriving a satisfactory outcome.

On the one hand, some people are in this position that the scientists intend to extend individuals’ lives to be over a century are the excellent thing as the elderly people are able to share their experiences to the descendants. (too long, make simple sentence when you introduce the topic) sample: on the one hand, one of the main benefits of extending human life-span is the skills that can be learnt from elder people.For instance, the grandfather or grandmother can share their first-hand experiences of the World War II such as the disadvantages of the war.(I don't understand what you are trying to say) Thus, it can raise the offspring awareness of the significance of the harmony. Hence, it is clear why some people gravitate towards elongating human life is beneficial thing.overall, no point I can make why we need to extend human life, after reading this paragraph, which is very bad for task response)

On the other hand, some argue that prolonging human life will bring numerous issues since the elderly people will be overly dependent on the government for affording considerable perks, remove this phrase, doesn't make sense. To illustrate, the senior citizens frequently require a large amount of medical treatments due to various ailments in their later livesso this means, the scientists who extend life-span are not able to stop diseases. It is obvious from this that they will create severe financial burden to the government in order to meet elder people need. After analyzing this point of view, it is certainly true that why many people support thisexpand 'this' with short decription claim.(example: After analyzing this point of view, it is certainly true that why increasing human life-cycle would be a problem.

In conclusion, the issue of the extension of human lives is supported and refuted by many. However, after analyzing these points of view, I believe (just give one short reason why you believe )that it is not necessary for scientists to try to make people lives’ longer. you have changed the topic to whether scientists need to do something or not


so you tried to achieve task response , however , your examples are not fully related and lacks clarity.

keep you sentences short if you find difficult to make complex sentences, because writing simpler makes good task response and essay flows well, you may not achieve good band for grammar but you can score more marks on TR and CC. ( only if you need band 6, if you want band 7 , then you have a long way to go)

looks like band 5 to 5.5 .

I try to write the same topic today and will post it to you

anyway Good luck

[durai]

hi Rairaichan,

here I can give the way I write supporting paragraphs:

as you see, there should at least 4 sentences,

here I used 4 sentences, you can go up to 5 sentences, but not more than that.

you can check my whole essay at

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=1026

ok, lets have look

On the other hand, some are of the opinion that the long life of individuals has significant drawbacks( just introduced one side of the topic, why it is not good to expand human life and I said reason " overpopulation) since it acts as a catalyst for overpopulation.( now, I need to convince reader why over population is a drawback, so I said resources are not enough) This means that the earth’s resources are already dwindling, and even insufficient for the present population. Destroying agricultural lands for building industries and homes, and increasing fuel prices in all spheres of the world are some of the causes of population explosion.(here, I gave example of effects of decrease in human resources,that related to overpopulation, directly links to human life cycle Hence, it is obvious that the expansion of the human cycle has deleterious effects.( finally I conclude, it has problems)

overall,
1step : tell reason , here "overpopulation " ( this is due to increase in life span)
2nd step: explain why the above reason : leads to depletion of resources ( this also one of the causes of increase in life span)
3rd step: example, that relates your 2nd step. should relate your topic in some way, i said everything happens due to overpopulation
4th step : conclude with your topic sentecne

usually i use maximum of 5 sentences for supporting para, that become easy to make a good structure..

I hope this one helps ..