Topic :-
Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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People are indulging themselves by eating lot of junk food without considering the health hazards . Due to this, they are suffering from the chronic diseases at a very early age. Some people think the solution to this is to educate them. However, few of them are opponents of this idea. Below essay will provide a viewpoint with a reasoned conclusion.
One of the biggest threats to anyone's health is their food habits. Firstly, majority of the people look for instant options due to their commitments without realizing its impact. Therefore, it is indispensable that awareness should be created by educating them. It will give them a deeper insight on the side-effects of such type of food on their health. For instance, In Bangalore, lots of IT companies conducts various health related programs for their employees by providing them a healthier menu option in the cafeteria. This approach would even benefits the younger generation too.
On the other side of it, education cannot be the only source for creating such awareness. Firstly , It will benefit only a particular society depending on the geographical area. For instance, In india , it becomes bit challenging as 70 % of the total population resides in the rural areas with significant literacy rate . Secondly , mass media can be used in order to reach the larger community . For instance, people can post advertisements in form of videos or textual information using tools like facebook to widespread the information.
To conclude, I strongly believe the education is a right tool to depict the impact of the junk food.It will not make them cautious but also help them in understanding the damage it can caused .By the end ,the biggest treasure for anyone would be to have a healthier life.
please review my GT task 2
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am
Re: please review my GT task 2
Hello!
Very early age? Which people are you talking about?
Without realising its impact? Is that really true?
If companies in Bangalore are already doing this, then the problem is being solved, right?
Literacy or illiteracy? How will providing textual information help?!
If this can be avoided by using TV and radio, or visuals and videos, why is there such a problem?
It will not make them cautious? Then why do you suggest it?
This essay has several extremely unclear points, possibly due to poor vocabulary and grammar. You mention near the beginning that people don't have time for this issue, then ignore it. If you cannot solve that aspect, will anything else have any effect at all?
All the best,
David
Very early age? Which people are you talking about?
Without realising its impact? Is that really true?
If companies in Bangalore are already doing this, then the problem is being solved, right?
Literacy or illiteracy? How will providing textual information help?!
If this can be avoided by using TV and radio, or visuals and videos, why is there such a problem?
It will not make them cautious? Then why do you suggest it?
This essay has several extremely unclear points, possibly due to poor vocabulary and grammar. You mention near the beginning that people don't have time for this issue, then ignore it. If you cannot solve that aspect, will anything else have any effect at all?
All the best,
David
Re: please review my GT task 2
DJvj wrote:Topic :-
Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
***********************
People are indulging themselves by eating lot of junk food without considering the health hazards. Due to this, they are suffering from chronic diseases at a very early age. Some people think the solution to this is to educate them. However, there are a few opponents of this idea. This essay will provide a viewpoint with a reasoned conclusion.
One of the biggest threats to anyone's health is their eating habits. Firstly, a majority of people look for instant options due to their commitments without realizing the impact. Therefore, it is essential that awareness is created by educating them. This will give them a deeper insight to the side-effects of such food on their health. For instance, in Bangalore, lots of IT companies conduct various health related programs for their employees by providing them a healthier menu option in the cafeteria. This approach benefits the younger generation, too.
On the other hand, education cannot be the only source for creating such awareness. Firstly, it will benefit only a particular society depending on the geographical area. For instance, in india, it becomes a bit challenging as 70% of the total population resides in the rural areas with a significant illiteracy rate. Secondly, mass media can be used in order to reach the larger community. For instance, people can post advertisements in the form of videos or textual information using tools like Facebook to spread the information over a wide area.
To conclude, I strongly believe that education is the right tool to demonstrate the impact of junk food. It will not only make people cautious, but also help them in understanding the damage it can cause. In the end, the biggest treasure for anyone would be to have a healthier life.