please review my GT task 2

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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DJvj
Posts: 148
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 9:06 am

please review my GT task 2

Post by DJvj »

Today more people are traveling than ever before.Why is this the case?are there any benefits of travelling for the traveller?

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In today's globalized world, there has been significant growth seen in the travelers compared to the earlier days. People have various options available with a good connectivity. However, it offers some benefits also for the traveler. Below essay will highlight the reason and growth of the traveling.

People are traveling across to globe in search of various opportunities like for job or study. Transportation cost has been reduced significantly in recent years and become more affordable to the pockets with the increased earning power. For instance, People won't mind in traveling by air to reach their destination quickly as it has become cheaper comparatively.People are traveling to different geographic locations to connect with their potential clients which would help in their business expansion.

Another important reason is people are living in a cosmopolitan society which gives them early exposure. People are interacting with different types people through various mediums like studies, social media or business trips For instance, a software professional working in MNC travels to US which helps in acclimatize with different culture. This awareness even helps them in choosing their holiday destination for leisure. People prefer to explore different places within country/abroad with their families to overcome their monotonous schedule.

To conclude, travelers are being benefited in many ways. It helps them in getting know about the place and experience the local culture and cuisine. Along with, it gives a global exposure to the individual helps in for his /her professional and personal growth
VadimKlimenko
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2016 7:20 pm

Re: please review my GT task 2

Post by VadimKlimenko »

My friend, please find a couple of my suggestions.

growth seen in the travelers compared = growth seen in the number of travelers compared
highlight the reason and growth of the traveling - not clear, do you mean "the reason of the growth in traveling" or something else?
People are traveling across to globe in search = People travel across the globe in search
opportunities like for job or study = opportunities like jobs or study places (right construction is "opportunities like NOUN or NOUN" or "opportunities like GERUND or GERUND")
For instance, People won't mind in traveling by air to reach their destination quickly as it has become cheaper comparatively = For instance, people flight often as the air transport today is quick and cheaper than it was before.


Please also note that your essay lacks real examples and your statement "For instance, a software professional working in MNC travels" could be considered too general by examiners. If you have time, review some of Ryan's model essays to see how he uses examples in his Task 2 essays.
DJvj
Posts: 148
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 9:06 am

Re: please review my GT task 2

Post by DJvj »

Thanks a lot for valuable feedback.
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