plesase review the GT task 2

[DJvj]

Topic :-

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this
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Nowadays, a lot of young students are being influenced with the sabbatical concept before pursuing their higher studies. However, this practice has some pros and cons which are described below.

There are various advantages which students see with this approach. Firstly, taking a break certainly helps them to come out of the monotonous routine and regain their focus afterwards. They prefer to travel to country where they would be studying prior so that they get acclimatize to the conditions and understand the local culture well. Some students wanted to have some hands on experience so that it can help them a bit financially as well it makes them more independent too. Even this work experience adds some weight-age in their CV for the future opportunities. Some students join social activities like working in NGO or do some technical courses which can help in building their skill sets.

On another side, the challenging thing this may bring sometimes parents are worried that taking a break that hamper the student studies. They may lose their rhythm and difficult to get back to their routine. With the rise in the competition level, sometimes a break may raise some questions while looking for a job as this trend is not widespread in all the countries.

To conclude, I think considering the above it’s more advantageous for a student to take a break for work or travel should be more helpful in gaining global exposure and experience.

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Appreciate your feedback.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

There's a big problem in the first main paragraph in that not all students go to study in a foreign country.

In the second main paragraph, you fail to say what problems may be raised.

Vocaulary is good. Grammar is ok, but you have not used a wide range of structures.

All the best,
David