Writing Task 2 - Punishment for each crime

[Ecro]

Hello,

Here is my Writing task 2:

It's believed that there should be a specific punishment for each type of crime. Some, however, think that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motives for committing it should always be taken into account when deciding what the punishment should be.

On the one hand, having a fixed punishment for each crime is the simplest way to deal with this problem. First of all, it makes the judge's job quite easy, because he'd have to know what type of crime was committed, and then he'd have to know what the punishment for that crime is. That would be ideal, as the process would be swift and a lot of cases could be resolved in a short period of time. Although this solution has one big hole in it, and that is that there are some cases when it's hard to decide if a crime was committed at all, or if someone was doing the wrong thing because of medication, etc. In those cases, that solution wouldn't work, and innocent people would go to prison.

On the other hand, reviewing every single case and taking into account the motivation for committing it, the circumstances and other external factors would be a better solution. However, that would slow down the process so much, that some cases could be delayed by one, two or even three years, which isn't the outcome that we want. Even though this system would be able to deal better with cases, which need to be reviews thoroughly and extensively in order not to send the innocent person to prison.

In my opinion, if we had to solve this problem, we'd have to come up with a solution that is a mixture of the two above. We'd have to have a fixed punishment for some cases, and take into account external factors for some other cases. Also, we'd need to establish an algorithm that could decide, on number of factors, if a case should be reviewed extensively or if a fixed punishment should be used.

Thank you for reading my Writing Task 2.

Have a great day,
Ecro

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

I like your mathematical proposal! When it comes to the slow process, I think this is not really due to the time spent on deciding a sentence, but the time presenting a case.

Both grammar and vocabulary are good and organisation is clear.

Well done!
David

[Ecro]

Hello!

I like your mathematical proposal! When it comes to the slow process, I think this is not really due to the time spent on deciding a sentence, but the time presenting a case.

Both grammar and vocabulary are good and organisation is clear.

Well done!
David

Hello David,

Thank you for your feedback.

Have a great day,
Ecro

[Ecro]

I really like your work, it is an example of a good essay really. I wish I could write good essays too.. When I have to do it I always use the help of a research paper writing service for some proofreading and advanced check. Maybe you can give me some tips on writing which will help me?

Hello Jcasey,

There's only one advice I could give you, and it is to practice. However, practice smartly. That means try out new methods, new words, try to write like a person who writes good essays(ask yourself: "How would a person who writes amazing essays write this sentence? How would he structure it? What words would he use?").

Also, use your smartphone to help you improve your vocabulary. I use an app called Vocabulary Builder by Magoosh, which provides a great way to learn new words. Then, when I find a word I don't know, I put it into an app called "AnkiDroid" which will remind me about that word, so that I won't forget it.

I hope this helps! Have a great day,
Ecro