David. I rewrote one essay, I mentioned another arguments, hope they are more suitable. Please chec

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Eternal_SSS
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David. I rewrote one essay, I mentioned another arguments, hope they are more suitable. Please chec

Post by Eternal_SSS »

Question: In mane countries more and more young people are leaving school but unable to find jobs. What are the reasons of youth unemployment? What measures should be taken to reduce the level of unemployment among youngsters?

In recent years, it has become increasingly obvious that unemployment is an issue many experts feel strongly about. Especially, unemployment among the youngest part of society. This essay will examine some reasons of the problem and put forward some possible solutions.

There are several reasons for youth unemployment. The most common two of them are absence of special skills and lack of work experience. Nowadays, youths who leave school and looking for a job, simply cannot go to study in colleges or universities due to some issues. For example, some pupil cannot afford payments for college, or have sick relatives to look after. Therefore, they usually have only some basic skills from school, which are not enough to find a job. Additionally, most companies are looking for young but experienced employers. Majority of managers and senior specialists are reluctant to teach inexperienced worker. For instance, in my country more than 90 percent of job positions require at least one year of experience, even if salary is low and position quite simple one. As result, it is becoming extremely hard to find a first job for youths who just have finished school.

The several steps could be taken to overcome this issue. Authorities and donation organizations can provide special scholarship for poor students to supply them with enough funds to finish college. Banks also can help with this by providing low rate loans specially for students. Another way to handle with problem, is arranging some voluntary work positions, or some training classes for youths. This option could be done by government or corporations. For example, local authority can organize youths to look after old people, or just clean streets. As I mentioned before, some training could be organized to teach children some simple technician work, such as carpenter or plumber. It can be postpaid, children would pay for classes after starting to work.

Taking everything into consideration, I am inclient to believe that lack of experience and professional skills are the main reasons of youth unemployment. What is more, serious attempts to prevent this issue must be made by government and society, otherwise until these problems be solved it is seems likley that it will get worse.
David.IELTS.Examiner
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Re: David. I rewrote one essay, I mentioned another arguments, hope they are more suitable. Please chec

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

There are some good points in the first main paragraph, but they are not well developed, e.g. why don't employers want to train young people?

The solutions are also good but simply listed rather than developed into a coherent paragraph.

Overall, quite good, but could easily be better.

All the best,
David
Eternal_SSS
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Re: David. I rewrote one essay, I mentioned another arguments, hope they are more suitable. Please chec

Post by Eternal_SSS »

Thank you very much for your review. I will to try to improve.
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Flick
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Re: David. I rewrote one essay, I mentioned another arguments, hope they are more suitable. Please chec

Post by Flick »

Eternal_SSS wrote:Question: In mane countries more and more young people are leaving school but unable to find jobs. What are the reasons of youth unemployment? What measures should be taken to reduce the level of unemployment among youngsters?

In recent years, it has become increasingly obvious that unemployment is an issue many experts feel strongly about. Especially unemployment among the youngest part of society. This essay will examine some reasons for the problem and put forward some possible solutions.

There are several reasons for youth unemployment. The most common two are absence of special skills and lack of work experience. Nowadays, youths who leave school and look for a job often cannot go to study in colleges or universities due to various issues. For example, some pupils cannot afford payments for college, or have sick relatives to look after. Therefore, they usually have only some basic skills from school, which are not enough to find a job. Additionally, most companies are looking for young but experienced employees. The majority of managers and senior specialists are reluctant to teach inexperienced workers. For instance, in my country more than 90 percent of job positions require at least one year of experience, even if the salary is low and the position is quite a simple one. As a result, it is becoming extremely hard to find a first job for youths who just have finished school.

Several steps could be taken to overcome this issue. Authorities and charity organizations can provide special scholarships for poor students to supply them with enough funds to finish college. Banks also can help with this by providing low rate loans specially for students. Another way to handle thisproblem is arranging some voluntary work positions or some training classes for youths. This option could be done by the government or corporations. For example, local authorities can organize youths to look after old people or just clean streets. As I mentioned before, some training could be organized to teach children some simple technician work, such as carpentry or plumbing. It can be postpaid; children would pay for classes after starting to work.

Taking everything into consideration, I am inclined to believe that lack of experience and professional skills are the main reasons for youth unemployment. What is more, serious attempts to prevent this issue must be made by government and society, otherwise these problems seem likely to get worse.
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