David please assess my writing need 7 plus band

[Qasim]

Nowadays more and more people read news on the Internet. Nevertheless, newspapers will remain an important source of news and information for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Information is easily available on internet and people are using internet in their daily life to read newspaper. However, still majority is consuming print media for reading of news and articles. I believe that we should encourage people to use internet for such information.

In this epoch of technology, everything is available on internet. Supporting devices are also available to use internet in more efficient manner. Using internet will also save paper which is extracted from trees and converted into paper for printing news. Furthermore another advantage is that we can access internet resources or news anywhere and we do not have to carry newspaper and other printed stuff.
Information available on internet is also current whereas on print media people have to wait for next morning. Moreover company can also benefit by reducing their staff which are responsible for delivering newspaper at homes by efficient use of technology.

Newspaper in past was the most valuable source of information because it provides information early in the morning and articles from famous writers. Now in this contemporary world every news printing company also has their website which contained electronic newspaper for readers, for instance BBC and CNN. Users can easily access that newspaper from the website anytime and read articles and news on their gadget. Moreover company can also benefit by reducing their staff which are responsible for delivering newspaper at homes by efficent use of technology.

In conclusion, I believe that we should promote awareness in people to use electronic media for reading and writing to save paper and electricity. In my opinion, when people become more aware they will prefer internet instead of print media, because of its availability. Therefore, as discussed atop I do not believe that newspaper is an essential source of information anymore.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, quite good, but some points are unclear or could be better developed ...

1. Is everything available on the internet? Even if it is, is it available to everyone, all the time?
2. Some people might argue that news on the internet is less reliable precisely because it is available quickly. Reporters rush to provide news first and consequently accuracy suffers.
3. The employment issue is unclear. For example, paper newspapers don't need web designers.
4. You say that many people still use paper newspapers, but you haven't mentioned why. If the internet is so good, why don't many people use it?

Related to point 4, you have made an assumption that everyone has access to the internet, which is simply not true. Even when there is internet access, it might be blocked - the BBC and CNN are blocked in China (20% of the global population!).

Grammar and vocabulary are good, but not used precisely to convey exact meaning.

Al the best,
David

[Qasim]

Thanks. I will work on your suggestions and try to improve

[Flick]

Nowadays more and more people read news on the Internet. Nevertheless, newspapers will remain an important source of news and information for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, information is easily available on the internet and people are using the internet in their daily life to read the news. However, many people are still consuming print media for news and articles. I believe that we should encourage people to use the internet for such information.

In this epoch of technology, everything is available on the internet. Supporting devices are also available to use the internet in a more efficient manner. Using the internet will also save paper, which is extracted from trees and converted into paper for print media. Furthermore, another advantage is that we can access internet resources or news anywhere and we do not have to carry a newspaper or other printed material.
Information available on the internet is also current whereas with print media, people have to wait until the next morning. Moreover, companies can also benefit by reducing their staff which are responsible for delivering newspapers by efficient use of technology.

Newspapers in the past were the most valuable source of information because they provided information early in the morning, including articles from famous writers. Now in this contemporary world, every news printing company also has a website which contains an electronic newspaper for readers, for instance BBC and CNN. Users can easily access that newspaper from the website anytime and read articles and news on their gadget. Moreover company can also benefit by reducing their staff which are responsible for delivering newspaper at homes by efficent use of technology.(<--This sentence is repeated from the previous paragraph.)

In conclusion, I believe that we should encourage people to use electronic media for reading and writing to save paper and electricity. In my opinion, when people become more aware they will prefer the internet instead of print media because of its availability. Therefore, as discussed above, I do not believe that newspaper is an essential source of information anymore.