GT Writing task 2 - Computers

[leodibkk]

Hi David,

Here I am again, appreciate your assessment on my writing task 2 below:

Topic: Computers have made the world a better place to live. Do you agree or disagree with the statement. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinions.

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For decades, technological advances in computers have evolved rapidly. These state of art breakthroughs have significantly impacted people’s lives. Whilst there are some think that computers negatively affect the world, it is argued by a substantial number of individuals that, by computers, the world is formed as a greater place. This essay will justify the above thesis by analyzing how convenient a mobile application is as well as assessing a prominent distant learning system.

Firstly, computers in the form of smartphones effectively aid to make people less suffer when commuting between places. Take Uber, which is a mobile application used as a private taxi operator, for instance. With this application, users are conveniently able to pick up any taxis in proximity merely with a tap on their smart devices. Therefore, it greatly alleviates the stress waiting in long queues for taxis. In addition, the application ensures that passengers always travel with the most optimum route; as a result, the most competitive fair is expected. Hence, this example clearly shows that life has been a lot easier with the support of computing power.

Then, it has never been tough to learn and discover the world with the aids of computers. Distant education can be referred as an example. Coursera is amongst such systems that offer numerous courses in a wide range of categories via the internet and computers. Individuals, who have registered and enrolled in this portal, are instructed and trained with various study resources. They, moreover, afford chances to learn from a great number of renowned lecturers and professors of universities around the globe. This system has effectively utilized computers as a means to provide course takers abilities to gain certificate; hence, help to achieve great successes. Therefore, the instance proves that computers have brought human a greater place to inhabit.

In conclusion, as has been discussed, smart device applications in commuting and computers’ support in distant learning fortify the idea that the advent of computers have made the world, which people inhabit, a better place. It is predicted that human beings’ lives will be significantly further enhanced with the rapid evolution of computers.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Rather weird to see Uber as the number one aspect of computers! And anyway, it doesn't guarantee the best route or the lowest fare.

The learning example is better, but if it is so easy to learn anything, I think you need to explain why so many people know so little.

Grammar and vocabulary are both good, ubt ideas need clarification and development.

All the best,
David