please assess my essay

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allen_zhang
Posts: 362
Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:41 am

please assess my essay

Post by allen_zhang »

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

For people living in big cities, there are usually two options for the type of accommodation: house and apartment. While some people prefer to live in a big house, some others favor apartment.

Houses have their obvious advantages in comparison with apartments. Firstly, houses are often bigger than apartments in size, which allows the owners of them to enjoy a wider range of activities such as gardening or even having a party at home. These activities can hardly be possible for people who live in apartments. Secondly, houses tend to be able to afford us a relatively healthier and more peaceful life. This is mainly because of the fact that most houses are located in suburb areas where people suffer less from the traffic pollution and noise. However, living in a house usually means people have to pay higher price for the house than an apartment and often involves longer traveling time every day because of the location – most house owners work in city center and live in suburb areas.

Perhaps the biggest advantage of living in an apartment is the convenience. Most apartments situate in urban areas which are often close to people's work places therefore can save people much time for commute. In addition, living close to city center means that people can easily find supermarkets, hospitals, schools as well as parks and places for amusement all of which are important to people's everyday life. Furthermore, safety could be another concern for those who are fond of apartments. To many people, living with other people in the same building and having a guard sitting in the lobby bring them a feeling of living in a big community and a sense of security.

To sum up, both options have their own advantages and disadvantages. From my point of views, living in a house could be a better option for most people as long as they can afford one.
#1 2013-09-07 L7.5; R8; S6; W6
#2 2014-03-08 L7.5; R7; S7; W5.5
#3 2014-05-10 L7.5; R8; S6.5; W6
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S5.5; W7
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S7; W5.5
jegankgm
Posts: 17
Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2014 5:30 pm

Re: please assess my essay

Post by jegankgm »

Hi there,

First all of I am not english expert. Just I am sharing my view:

For people living in big cities, there are usually two options for the type of accommodation: house and apartment. While some people prefer to live in a big house, some others favor apartment.(<-- Introduction needs to be expanded, could have explained what you are supporting)

Houses have their obvious advantages in comparison with apartments. Firstly, houses are often bigger than apartments in size, which allows the owners of them to enjoy a wider range of activities such as gardening or even having a party at home. These activities can hardly be possible for people who live in apartments. Secondly, houses tend to be able to afford us a relatively healthier and more peaceful life. This is mainly because of the fact that most houses are located in suburb areas where people suffer less from the traffic pollution and noise. However, living in a house usually means people have to pay higher price for the house than an apartment and often involves longer traveling time every day because of the location – most house owners work in city center and live in suburb areas.(<-- this divert from the paragraph).

Perhaps the biggest advantage of living in an apartment is the convenience. Most apartments situate in urban areas which are often close to people's work places therefore can save people much time for commute.( <-- might look for other idea, in my opnion all appartments are not near by offices) In addition, living close to city center means that people can easily find supermarkets, hospitals, schools as well as parks and places for amusement all of which are important to people's everyday life. Furthermore, safety could be another concern for those who are fond of apartments. To many people, living with other people in the same building and having a guard sitting in the lobby bring them a feeling of living in a big community and a sense of security[/color](<-- need some rephrase)

To sum up, both options have their own advantages and disadvantages. From my point of views, living in a house could be a better option for most people as long as they can afford one.(<-- need what advantages you see).

**Grammar i cannot comment much, I am working on it..
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