Really appreciate if my general training writing task 1 reviewed :)

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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leodibkk
Posts: 16
Joined: Fri Dec 25, 2015 1:36 pm

Really appreciate if my general training writing task 1 reviewed :)

Post by leodibkk »

Hi all and Ryan,

I am really appreciate if you can spend some time to review my task 1 general training writing as below.

Your help is greatly appreciated. :)
Di Truong

Topic:

One thing in your apartment has been broken and a staff has been sent to fix it. However, you are not satisfied with the fix. Write a letter to the building management team to complain about it.

You should mention in your letter:
- What was broken?

- Why are you not satisfied with the fix?

- What you need the manager to do?

You should start your letter with Dear Sir/Madam
-----------------
Dear Sir/Madam,

I am Di Truong, who is currently living in the room 2702 at your Onnut Building; and I am writing to complain about the poor quality of remedy which has been done to my bathroom's door.

As you may know, two weeks ago, a bizarre sound was found whenever my bathroom's door was opened or closed. As a result, I submitted a request to fix it. In response to my request, a repairman has promptly been sent to remedy the problem. And I found it really pleasure to receive such a quick response.

However, two days after the staff had left, the door has been malfunctioning again. I am now not even able to close it as smoothly as before. Hence, I am not really satisfied with what had been done to fix the problem.

Therefore, I would be grateful if you could ask your staff to immediately have my bathroom's door substituted.

I am looking forward to your prompt action.

Yours faithfully,

Di Truong
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Really appreciate if my general training writing task 1 reviewed :)

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello Truong!

Overall, a very good letter. A few corrections ...

1. sound was heard ...
2. was promptly sent to remedy
3. try not to begin sentences with 'and'
4. the door has started having problems again

Well done!
David
leodibkk
Posts: 16
Joined: Fri Dec 25, 2015 1:36 pm

Re: Really appreciate if my general training writing task 1 reviewed :)

Post by leodibkk »

Hi David,

I would like to thank you for your precious time judging my writing.

Then, I am wondering if this letter deserves a band 7.5.

Cheers,
Di Truong
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