Please check my essay and want some feedback

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Yoshiky12
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2014 11:23 am

Please check my essay and want some feedback

Post by Yoshiky12 »

Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world.

What are your opinions on this?

Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Due to the advancement of game technologies and the latest graphic designs, children today can easily access to the video games which contains realistic materials often including violent contents. While some people consider this as a contribution to the crime rate growth, however It is wrong to simply conclude violent games are contributing to delinquency of young children in society.

The first aspect, which needs to be considered, is whether there is a definite relationship between the violent video games and the growth of indecent behaviours among young children. It is commonly known fact that the motivations for children to misbehave in society are often heavily related to their family background, such as low socio economic, lone parent and community. Moreover, some ethnic groups justify childs violent actions as a step to become an adult. Therefore, playing violent game does not necessarily mean that children commit a crime.

Another important factor contributing to the growth of crime rate is perhaps the lack of supervision from their parents or family. Parents today are working too hard and too long resulted in being unable to discipline their children properly. Therefore, children do not have sufficient education and communication with their parents. This is potentially leading them to associate with gang members or friends who act indecently in community.

From the above discussion, it can be concluded that it is wrong to relate the increase of crime rate by young children to the popular violent games. it is important to understand that misbehaviours are often led by their social status and background, as well as lack of supervision and education. Therefore as comedian fan does not become a comedian, playing video games does not make them to become an offender.

286 words

Yoshiky12
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