Kindly review my essay 2-

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inaveed
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2014 6:22 pm

Kindly review my essay 2-

Post by inaveed »

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

In recent times, taking a gap year between high school and University is becoming a norm. Students are encouraged to travel abroad or work in a discipline of their interest, before applying to the university. In as much as, there are some drawbacks to this, I believe the advantages surpass the disadvantages. The different notions about this argument will be outlined below.

There are numerous advantages to work and travel for a year. Travel allows a student to experience a new culture, learn a new language, make international contacts and have a view about the world. Work on the other hand allows a young student to gain experience in a field of his interest, develop communication and interpersonal skills. Thus, it is clear that travelling or working is worthwhile.

On the contrary though, there are also some negative factors about this. Travelling is very expensive and it is difficult for students from poorer backgrounds to embark on. Travelling also involves a lot of hassles such as documentation and visa processes. Work on the other hand can be exhaustive for a young individual. It can also be difficult for a non-experienced individual to adapt into a job that requires personal skills.

To conclude, taking a year out before University allows students to experience a new country and gain work experience but it is expensive to travel and difficult to do a skilled job. Thus, it can be seen by the balance of circumstances that, the advantages of doing an extra year outweighs that of not doing it. It will not be a surprise if this becomes mandatory to do in the future.
saqibali
Posts: 452
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:56 am

Re: Kindly review my essay 2-

Post by saqibali »

inaveed wrote:In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

In recent times, taking a gap year[for study or work exposure] between high school and University is becoming a norm. Students are encouraged[are influenced by trend] to travel abroad[abroad is out of context] or work in a discipline of their interest, before applying to the university[Before starting universiity eduation.Its more aligned with previous tone]. In as much as[This phrase appears awkwards to me], there are some drawbacks to this, I believe the advantages surpass the disadvantages. The different notions [inappropriate word.Better use aspects]about this argument will be outlined[discussed] below.

There are numerous advantages to work and travel for a year. [For example]Travel allows a student to experience a new culture, learn a new language, make international contacts and have a[personalized] view about the world. Work on the other hand allows a young student to gain experience in a field of his interest, develop[enhance] communication and interpersonal skills. Thus, it is clear that travelling or working is worthwhile[The sentence seem awkward]. Thus support for this trend is understandable.

On the contrary though[To the sceptics], there are also some negative factors about this[associated with this trend]. Travelling[spelling mistake] is very expensive and it is difficult for students from poorer backgrounds to embark on[We are not discussing feasiblity of trave]. Travelling also involves a lot of hassles such as documentation and visa processes[Out of context]. Work on the other hand can be exhaustive for a young individual. It can also be difficult for a non-experienced individual to adapt into a job that requires personal skills.

To conclude, taking a year out before University allows students to experience a new country and gain work experience but it is expensive to travel and difficult to do a skilled job. Thus, it can be seen by the balance of circumstances that, the advantages of doing an extra year outweighs that of not doing it. It will not be a surprise if this becomes mandatory to do in the future.
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