Hello. Do you think this essay can get 7? Task2-Academic

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myieltstest
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Apr 03, 2015 8:33 am

Hello. Do you think this essay can get 7? Task2-Academic

Post by myieltstest »

Could someone please evaluate it and give band prediction.
many thanks. :)



The right time for children to learn second language has been a riddle since society started thinking about global citizenships and opportunities, especially in countries whose first language is not English. Most professionals in the field believed that it is best to start learning a second language at primary school while other practitioners have suggested that starting to learn at secondary school is more efficient. I believe that the best time to start learning a second language is at primary school. It is due to biological reasons; it is more beneficial and children can have an early exposure to the language.

Medical research has found out that the primordial part of the brain is responsible for emotional sensing, reflexive movement, and imitating ability. This imitating ability, which is developing significantly during primary school period, contributes significantly in language learning. On the other hand, logical thinking ability is developed later, that is during the secondary school phase. This brain development knowledge is fundamental information to support the idea that the best time to learn second language is during primary school.

Many language researchers, educators, and experts have collaborated an experiment that showed that each individual needs different time to absorb every aspect of a new language learned such as grammar, vocabulary, and pronunciation. Participant who got the best result on that experiment still need a significant amount of time to master the basic, let alone the fluency. This fact has implied that it is beneficial to start as early as possible. By doing so, children can get early exposure to the language. Thus, they also will get used to the language and are more confidence in using it. For this reason, it is obvious that starting it early in primary school give children more benefits.

Following the analysis of the brain development phase information and the advantages of early exposure to a foreign language, it is clear, as I have also argued, that it is best to begin learning foreign language at primary school.
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myieltstest
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Apr 03, 2015 8:33 am

Re: Hello. Do you think this essay can get 7? Task2-Academic

Post by myieltstest »

Could someone please evaluate it and give band prediction.
many thanks. :)
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OnlineEnglishTeacher
Posts: 616
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Re: Hello. Do you think this essay can get 7? Task2-Academic

Post by OnlineEnglishTeacher »

Estimated around 6.5

The right time for children to learn ("a") second language has been a riddle since society started thinking about global citizenships and opportunities, especially in countries whose first language is not English. Most professionals in the field believed that it is best to start learning a second language at primary school(",") while other practitioners have suggested that starting to learn at secondary school is more efficient. I believe that the best time to start learning a second language is at primary school. It is due to biological reasons; it is more beneficial and children can have (no "an") an early exposure to the language.

Medical research has found out that the primordial part of the brain is responsible for emotional sensing, reflexive movement, and imitating ability. This imitating ability, which is developing significantly during ("the") primary school period, contributes significantly in language learning. On the other hand, logical thinking ability is developed later, that is during the secondary school phase. This brain development knowledge is fundamental information to support the idea that the best time to learn ("a") second language is during primary school.

Many language researchers, educators, and experts have collaborated ("on") an experiment that showed that each individual needs different time to absorb every aspect of a new language learned such as grammar, vocabulary, and pronunciation. ("Certainly, the") Participant who got the best result on that experiment still ("needs") need a significant amount of time to master the basic ("information"), let alone ("get") the fluency. This fact has implied that it is beneficial to start as early as possible. By doing so, children can get early exposure to the language. Thus, they also will get used to the language and are more ("confident") confidence in using it. For this reason, it is obvious that starting it early in primary school ("gives") give children more benefits.

Following the analysis of the brain development phase information and the advantages of early exposure to a foreign language, it is clear, as I have also argued, that it is best to begin learning ("a") foreign language at primary school.
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myieltstest
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Apr 03, 2015 8:33 am

Re: Hello. Do you think this essay can get 7? Task2-Academic

Post by myieltstest »

OnlineEnglishTeacher wrote:Estimated around 6.5

The right time for children to learn ("a") second language has been a riddle since society started thinking about global citizenships and opportunities, especially in countries whose first language is not English. Most professionals in the field believed that it is best to start learning a second language at primary school(",") while other practitioners have suggested that starting to learn at secondary school is more efficient. I believe that the best time to start learning a second language is at primary school. It is due to biological reasons; it is more beneficial and children can have (no "an") an early exposure to the language.

Medical research has found out that the primordial part of the brain is responsible for emotional sensing, reflexive movement, and imitating ability. This imitating ability, which is developing significantly during ("the") primary school period, contributes significantly in language learning. On the other hand, logical thinking ability is developed later, that is during the secondary school phase. This brain development knowledge is fundamental information to support the idea that the best time to learn ("a") second language is during primary school.

Many language researchers, educators, and experts have collaborated ("on") an experiment that showed that each individual needs different time to absorb every aspect of a new language learned such as grammar, vocabulary, and pronunciation. ("Certainly, the") Participant who got the best result on that experiment still ("needs") need a significant amount of time to master the basic ("information"), let alone ("get") the fluency. This fact has implied that it is beneficial to start as early as possible. By doing so, children can get early exposure to the language. Thus, they also will get used to the language and are more ("confident") confidence in using it. For this reason, it is obvious that starting it early in primary school ("gives") give children more benefits.

Following the analysis of the brain development phase information and the advantages of early exposure to a foreign language, it is clear, as I have also argued, that it is best to begin learning ("a") foreign language at primary school.
thank you for your feedback.
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