Please help with my first essay!

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pearlyn
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Jun 10, 2015 4:23 am

Please help with my first essay!

Post by pearlyn »

Hello all,

I'm a newbie here and hope you awesome people can help me to spot my errors in my writing. I timed myself exactly 40 mins and stopped writing after that, so maybe a few errors will be expected. Many thanks in advance! :D :D :D

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Topic: Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay:

With increasing trends for modern globalization and cross-cultural exchange, more and more people are taking up one or several foreign languages, including parents sending their children to language classes at young age. In my opinion it is extremely beneficial to start learning a new language in early years, particularly primary schools, as the efforts can last for many following years.

Firstly, it is scientifically proven that humans take up new things at the greatest speed in the first few years of their lives. The learning process is more natural as children tend to be curious about everything around them, and are generally able to grasp the linguistics concepts through visuals, music and conversations. For instance, a young child is able to pick up his or her mother tongue faster than any languages he or she learns at teenage or adult years. Therefore, allowing children to grow up in a multilingual environment or to begin learning a foreign language in their first years of schooling will aid their ability to use the language more naturally.

Secondly, learning a new language exposes the child to a new culture with distinct custom and belief compared to those of where he or she grows up. As a result, the child will be more open-minded and learn to respect differences, at the same time improve the adaptability to a new environment. For example, a Caucasian child who starts to learn an Asian language such as Chinese, Korean or Japanese will get to know that they are not expected to call the elders by their first names but to use very polite pronouns.

Last but not least, learning new languages at a young age will allow the child to have more time to master the language and better equip himself for overseas college if interest arises. Primary school students may have on average five more years of study in a language and that may make a distinguished difference compared to those who only start at the age of 12 or 13.

From the above reasons, I believe it would benefit the child best to start learning a new language at young age, particularly primary school, rather than in their early teenage years.
abolik
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Jun 10, 2015 11:25 am

Re: Please help with my first essay!

Post by abolik »

it is very good, I believe you need to discuss the other point of view at least one reason why it is not good to that before you give your opinion.

for example, one the other hand, some experts do not agree because of bla bla

good job
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OnlineEnglishTeacher
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Re: Please help with my first essay!

Post by OnlineEnglishTeacher »

Topic: Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay:

With increasing trends for modern globalization and cross-cultural exchange, more and more people are taking up one or several foreign languages, including parents sending their children to language classes at ("a") young age. In my opinion it is extremely beneficial to start learning a new language ("during their") in early years, particularly primary schools, as the efforts can last for many following years.

Firstly, it is scientifically proven that humans take up new things at the greatest speed in the first few years of their lives. The learning process is more natural as children tend to be curious about everything around them, and are generally able to grasp the ("linguistic") linguistics concepts through visuals, music and conversations. For instance, a young child is able to pick up ("their") his or her mother tongue faster than any languages ("they learn") he or she learns ("during") at teenage or adult years. Therefore, allowing children to grow up in a multilingual environment or to begin learning a foreign language in their first years of schooling will aid their ability to use the language more naturally.

Secondly, learning a new language exposes the child to a new culture with distinct ("customs and beliefs,") custom and belief compared to those of where ("they grew") he or she grows up. As a result, the child will be more open-minded and learn to respect differences, ("whilst") at the same time improve the adaptability to a new environment. For example, a Caucasian child who starts to learn an Asian language such as Chinese, Korean or Japanese(",") will get to know that they are not expected to call the elders by their first names(",") but to use very polite pronouns.

Last but not least, learning new languages at a young age will allow the child to have more time to master the language and better equip ("themself") himself for overseas college if ("the") interest arises. Primary school students may have ("an") on average five more years of study in a language and that may make a ("significant") distinguished difference(",") compared to those who only start at the age of 12 or 13.

From the above reasons, I believe it would benefit the child best to start learning a new language at ("a") young age, particularly primary school, rather than in their early teenage years.
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