[First attempt in writing]: Task-2 question, seeking feedback

[nagesh.shamnur]

Hi Group,
Request people to go through the task-2 essay written by me and provide me with your valuable feedback.

Question: It is quite common for both parents in a family to work. Sometimes this is because they need two salaries to survive whereas at other times it their choice.
what problems do you see in this situation? how does this affect the children and family life?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Essay:
Over a period of time, the way people lead their lives has changed. Earlier the head of the family used to work and would be a single breadwinner for the family, now-a-days both the parents working have become a common phenomenon. Some work to support their family and others choose it pursue their career. Such an arrangement has its own share of problems such as under developed children and less-family bonding which is as explained below.
Firstly, work demands for an employee to clock a minimum numbers of hours at office. Additionally, the target to complete the work puts a tremendous amount of stress on the professional, irrespective of the gender. This will result in parents getting drained both physically and mentally by the time they reach home. At home, at best they end up cooking; feeding their children and would spend less quality time with them. Be it helping them in their homework or addressing a problem of the child. As a result, children will not be able to get the attention from the parents whom they seek and children in-turn would start developing a feeling of isolation and no-caring parents. The root cause for this, being both the parents working.
In addition to this, busy work schedule would reduce the amount of time the spouses would get to spend with each, which translates in less quality time that they spend with each other. This directly results in less understanding between them and also greatly increases the chances of misunderstanding. For example, spouse can doubt his partner on an extra marital affair at work. Unless they both speak with each other and clear the air, it will start breeding the miss-trust between them which will only add to their misery. Hence, this will become a breeding ground for confusion, miss-understanding which in some cases, as well, can bring down the relationship.
Though, working parents have a quite good amount of advantages, but it has its own share of disadvantages as well. Everything in life come a package with both good and bad things. So, one should weigh their options carefully before choosing the path to take. The best option would be to choose a career for either of the parent which is not very demanding in nature and which would ultimately resulting in a happy family.

[OnlineEnglishTeacher]

Hi Group,
Request people to go through the task-2 essay written by me and provide me with your valuable feedback.

Question: It is quite common for both parents in a family to work. Sometimes this is because they need two salaries to survive whereas at other times it their choice.
what problems do you see in this situation? how does this affect the children and family life?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Essay:
Over a period of time, the way people lead their lives has changed. Earlier the head of the family used to work and would be a single breadwinner for the family, ("but nowadays") now-a-days both the parents working ("has") have become a common phenomenon. Some work to support their family and others choose it ("to") pursue their career. Such an arrangement has its own share of problems such as ("underdeveloped") under developed children and less(no "-")-family bonding which is (no "as") as explained below.
Firstly, work demands for an employee to clock a minimum numbers of hours at ("their") office. Additionally, the target to complete the work puts a tremendous amount of stress on the professional, irrespective of the gender. This will result in parents getting drained both physically and mentally by the time they reach home. At home, at best they end up cooking ("and"); feeding their children and would spend less quality time with them(","). Be it helping them in their homework or addressing a problem of the child. As a result, children will not be able to get the attention from the parents whom they seek and children ("in turn") in-turn would start developing a feeling of isolation and ("non-caring") no-caring parents. The root cause for this, being both the parents working.
In addition to this, ("a") busy work schedule would reduce the amount of time the spouses would get to spend with each ("other"), which translates ("into") in less quality time that they spend with each other. This directly results in less understanding between them and also greatly increases the chances of misunderstanding. For example, ("a") spouse can doubt ("their") his partner ("for") on an extra marital affair at work. Unless they both speak with each other and clear the air, it will start breeding the ("mistrust") miss-trust between them(",") which will only add to their misery. Hence, this will become a breeding ground for confusion, ("and misunderstanding,") miss-understanding which in some cases, as well, can bring down the relationship.
Though(no ","), working parents have a quite good amount of advantages, (no "but") but it has its own share of disadvantages as well. Everything in life ("comes in") come a package with both good and bad things. So, one should weigh their options carefully before choosing the path to take. The best option would be to choose a career for either of the ("parents") parent which is not very demanding in nature and which would ultimately ("result") resulting in a happy family.