Please help rate my writing as i have my exam in 2 weeks

[dianamin]

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap
and clean energy.
The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nuclear weapons are a very important aspect of today's world as whoever holds this technology has the power to wreak havoc onto the world.Although not as dangerous as nuclear weapons , nuclear power is also a significant factor that influences the environment that we live in.
I have to disagree with the statement that the benefits of nuclear technology outweigh the disadvantages. I believe that the use of nuclear technology is far too dangerous and it mustn't be taken lightly.
First of all, we should learn from the mistakes of the past, not repeat them. Furthermore , I think that history has many lessons for us if we are willing to pay attention. Take the example of the nuclear bombing of the Japanese cities Hiroshima and Nagasaki , it was responsible for the loss of many lives and it helped our development in no way.
This brings me to my second point, the environmental damage that nuclear technology has on out planet.Even though nuclear power can provide cheap and somewhat clean energy , the risk of an accident happening is too high for it to be a practical source of power.
In the end, i think we all agree that times change, and so must we. If in the past the threat of nuclear power could have maintained world peace, that is definately not the case now. Our society has evolved beyond the idea of the "survival of the fittest" , we all depend on each other and each others trust now so the threat of nuclear weapons could bring on the biggest catastrophe yet to be seen by the human race.

I have to add that I haven't been looking at any writing tips, I just want to see how well i can do without preparation. Of course I will prepare for the exam , this is to see where I stand at the moment.

[OnlineEnglishTeacher]

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap
and clean energy.
The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nuclear weapons are a very important aspect of today's world as whoever holds this technology has the power to wreak havoc onto the world.Although not as dangerous as nuclear weapons , nuclear power is also a significant factor that influences the environment that we live in.
I have to disagree with the statement that the benefits of nuclear technology outweigh the disadvantages. I believe that the use of nuclear technology is far too dangerous and it mustn't be taken lightly.
First of all, we should learn from the mistakes of the past, not repeat them. Furthermore , I think that history has many lessons for us if we are willing to pay attention. Take the example of the nuclear bombing of the Japanese cities Hiroshima and Nagasaki , it was responsible for the loss of many lives and it helped our development in no way.
This brings me to my second point, the environmental damage that nuclear technology has on out planet.Even though nuclear power can provide cheap and somewhat clean energy , the risk of an accident happening is too high for it to be a practical source of power.
In the end, i think we all agree that times change, and so must we. If in the past the threat of nuclear power could have maintained world peace, that is definately not the case now. Our society has evolved beyond the idea of the "survival of the fittest" , we all depend on each other and each others trust now so the threat of nuclear weapons could bring on the biggest catastrophe yet to be seen by the human race.

I have to add that I haven't been looking at any writing tips, I just want to see how well i can do without preparation. Of course I will prepare for the exam , this is to see where I stand at the moment.

This is a quite high level essay and would expect at least a 7 most likely and perhaps a 7.5-8 or higher.

Nuclear weapons are a very important aspect of today's world as whoever holds this technology has the power to wreak havoc onto the world. Although not as dangerous as nuclear weapons , nuclear power is also a significant factor that influences the environment that we live in.
I have to disagree with the statement that the benefits of nuclear technology outweigh the disadvantages. I believe that the use of nuclear technology is far too dangerous and it ("must not") mustn't be taken lightly.
First of all, we should learn from the mistakes of the past, not repeat them. Furthermore , I think that history has many lessons for us if we are willing to pay attention. Take the example of the nuclear bombing of the Japanese cities Hiroshima and Nagasaki, it was responsible for the loss of many lives and it helped our development in no way.
This brings me to my second point, the environmental damage that nuclear technology has on our planet. Even though nuclear power can provide cheap and somewhat clean energy , the risk of an accident happening is too high for it to be a practical source of power.
In the end, i think we all agree that times change, and so must we. If in the past the threat of nuclear power could have maintained world peace, that is ("definitely") definately not the case now. Our society has evolved beyond the idea of the "survival of the fittest" , we all depend on each other and each ("other's") others trust now(",") so the threat of nuclear weapons could bring on the biggest catastrophe yet to be seen by the human race..