Please grade. means alot

[ilidanvn]

Young people who commit searious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults.
To what extent to you agree 0r disagree?

In my opinion, every person is entitled to his or her action no matter if is good or bad; and with that being said, I am undoubtedly agree that young people who committed a serious act of crime should be punished the same way as their older counterparts. Through this essay, I will bring to the table the foremost reasons why the law should not show tolerance when come to judging teenage criminals.

First of all, the rate of teenage crimes in the world at this point is growing fast; and like weeds, it will continue to grow even faster unless we eliminate its roots. The reason for the emergence of young criminal is because as of right now punishments for underage criminal are not strict enough; this ultimately encourage teenagers to think that they can break the law without the fear of facing serious sentences. However, if we ought to judge young people for their crime the same as adults by giving out equal punishments, this may significantly discourage the rise of future underage criminals and will help create a safer society.

On the other hand, many people believed that it is unmoral to charge a young person with equal sentences as adults, because they are yet mature enough at the time they committed the crime and did not realize the consequences of their action; I can agree with this in some way. Although, we should keep in mind that there is no guarantee they would have acted differently if they were older. Even some adults committed crimes based on impulsive actions then what make them different from teenagers. And more shockingly, organized gangs of teenage criminal are becoming more of an issue for society nowadays. Take Ho Chi Minh city for example, where civilians are being senselessly rob by underage criminal. Thus, if we go on judging these individuals based on their age, we will only see this kind of dangerous and impulsive criminals appear more and more each day in our country.

In a nutshell, law are created to keep people in line and to preserve the society way of living, there should not be any excuses for the law not to be carry out. If we want a violent free environment for our childrens to grow up then we should enforce the law and that every criminal will be equal when facing judgement for the law no matter of their age.

[OnlineEnglishTeacher]

Young people who commit searious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults.
To what extent to you agree 0r disagree?

In my opinion, every person is entitled to his or her action no matter if is good or bad; and with that being said, I am undoubtedly agree that young people who committed a serious act of crime should be punished the same way as their older counterparts. Through this essay, I will bring to the table the foremost reasons why the law should not show tolerance when come to judging teenage criminals.

First of all, the rate of teenage crimes in the world at this point is growing fast; and like weeds, it will continue to grow even faster unless we eliminate its roots. The reason for the emergence of young criminal is because as of right now punishments for underage criminal are not strict enough; this ultimately encourage teenagers to think that they can break the law without the fear of facing serious sentences. However, if we ought to judge young people for their crime the same as adults by giving out equal punishments, this may significantly discourage the rise of future underage criminals and will help create a safer society.

On the other hand, many people believed that it is unmoral to charge a young person with equal sentences as adults, because they are yet mature enough at the time they committed the crime and did not realize the consequences of their action; I can agree with this in some way. Although, we should keep in mind that there is no guarantee they would have acted differently if they were older. Even some adults committed crimes based on impulsive actions then what make them different from teenagers. And more shockingly, organized gangs of teenage criminal are becoming more of an issue for society nowadays. Take Ho Chi Minh city for example, where civilians are being senselessly rob by underage criminal. Thus, if we go on judging these individuals based on their age, we will only see this kind of dangerous and impulsive criminals appear more and more each day in our country.

In a nutshell, law are created to keep people in line and to preserve the society way of living, there should not be any excuses for the law not to be carry out. If we want a violent free environment for our childrens to grow up then we should enforce the law and that every criminal will be equal when facing judgement for the law no matter of their age.

Young people who commit searious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults.
To what extent to you agree or disagree?

In my opinion, every person is entitled to his or her action no matter if ("it") is good or bad; and with that being said, I (no "am") am undoubtedly agree that young people who committed a serious act of crime should be punished the same way as their older counterparts. Through this essay, I will bring to the table the foremost reasons why the law should not show tolerance when ("it comes") come to judging teenage criminals.

First of all, the rate of teenage crimes in the world at this point is growing fast; and like weeds, it will continue to grow even faster unless we eliminate its roots. The reason for the emergence of young ("criminals") criminal is because as of right now punishments for underage ("criminals") criminal are not strict enough; this ultimately ("encourages") encourage teenagers to think that they can break the law without the fear of facing serious sentences. However, if we ought to judge young people for their crime the same as adults by giving out equal punishments, this may significantly discourage the rise of future underage criminals and will help create a safer society.

On the other hand, many people believed that it is unmoral to charge a young person with equal sentences as adults, because they are ("not") yet mature enough at the time they committed the crime and did not realize the consequences of their action; I can agree with this in some way. ("However,") Although, we should keep in mind that there is no guarantee they would have acted differently if they were older. Even some adults committed crimes based on impulsive actions(",") then what then what make them different from teenagers("?"). And more shockingly, organized gangs of teenage ("criminals") criminal are becoming more of an issue for society nowadays. Take Ho Chi Minh city for example, where civilians are being senselessly ("robbed by underage") rob by underage ("criminals") criminal. Thus, if we go on judging these individuals based on their age, we will only see ("these kinds") this kind of dangerous and impulsive criminals appear ("increasingly") more and more each day in our country.

In a nutshell, ("laws") law are created to keep people in line and to preserve the ("society's") society way of living, ("and") there should not be any excuses for the law not to be ("carried") carry out. If we want a ("violence-free") violent free environment for our ("children") childrens to grow up(",") then we should enforce the law and ("therefore every") that every criminal will be equal when facing judgement for the law no matter of their age.

Grade = about 5.5-6

[ilidanvn]

Thankyou

One more thing, how would you grade the idea of the essay, word usage

If without the gramma mistakes, would this essay get better rating

Thanks again !!

[OnlineEnglishTeacher]

Thankyou

One more thing, how would you grade the idea of the essay, word usage

If without the gramma mistakes, would this essay get better rating

Thanks again !!

Briefly - I think that word usage was alright, however you were repeating the essay question such as for "young" and "people" etc.: "http://www.textfixer.com/tools/online-w ... p#newText2" and there were a lot of grammar errors, so that would likely change the grade.