Please check my writing task I (academic)

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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blacxx
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat May 09, 2015 11:03 am

Please check my writing task I (academic)

Post by blacxx »

The line chart indicates how much fish and three kinds of meat were consumed in a European country between 1979 and 2004. The information’s unit is grams per person consumed in 1 week.

It is noticeable that chicken was the only upward trend among the others. Beginning from approximately 140 grams, chicken consumption soared considerably to 200 grams, before reaching to a fluctuate between 1989 and the following 10 years (1999). From the year onward, chicken consumption rose gradually, reaching to its peak at 250 grams, before falling down in 2004. By contrast, beef and lamb consumption met a decrease by 50% in 2004. Beef, starting as the highest consumption as 220 grams, fluctuated until 1984, and the year after it was confronting a plateau. It remained steady until 1989, before dropping significantly to around 100 grams in the last year, according to the graph. Similarly, lamb consumption began at 150, and continued to fluctuate during 1989 and 1999, before ending at 30 in 2004.

However, fish almost remained steady during the years. Starting from 20 in 1979, fish consumption decreased slightly by 10 in 1984, before fluctuating until 1999 and finally dropped to 45 in 2004.

Overall, the downward trends, applicable to a;; categories demonstrating in the graph, were in both 1989 and 1999.

Heap thanks :)
blacxx
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat May 09, 2015 11:03 am

Re: Please check my writing task I (academic)

Post by blacxx »

I am looking forward to hearing you guys' feedback. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
blacxx
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat May 09, 2015 11:03 am

Re: Please check my writing task I (academic)

Post by blacxx »

8-) 8-) 8-)
blacxx
Posts: 21
Joined: Sat May 09, 2015 11:03 am

Re: Please check my writing task I (academic)

Post by blacxx »

:P :P :P :P :P
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Flick
Grammar Checker
Grammar Checker
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Please check my writing task I (academic)

Post by Flick »

Hi blacxx

It is difficult to provide feedback without the graph.
Can you please attach it?

Thanks,
Flick
Bella3x
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed May 27, 2015 6:58 am

Re: Please check my writing task I (academic)

Post by Bella3x »

Word count - OK, more than 150 words
Punctuation - No error.
Grammar - No error.
Introduction - It's complete. Great!
Body - You've illustrated it very well even though I can't see the graph.
Conclusion - If you can post the graph, it would be better.

My humble opinion:
Overall, I can see you have a good grasp of the English language and can clearly explain Task 1's. Now, the question is, were you able to write it in less than 20 minutes?

If you want your writings to be checked, I think Ben of http://www.ieltspodcast.com/ can help you. He gives feedback to Academic and General writing tasks. He also has Academic IELTS Task 1 Sample Essay guide here: http://www.ieltspodcast.com/academic-ielts-task-1/
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