You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
kate hwang
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Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by kate hwang »

As the interst of raising kids has increased, the ways of nursing children have been argued. Some people believe that kids have to be under the rules in order to grow up as ideal adults, while others disagree. This essay will cite advantages of both opinions.

First of all, following rules allows kids to learn how to adjust to a group even futher to society. Living with other individuals requires to follow a number of rules, which needs to be practiced. In addition, children who know how to go with many rules are more likely to have calm and polite personality. For instance, youngsters in many Asian countries like Korea are raised with numerous rules. As a result, they have calmer and more polite personality compared to Western countries which dont have a lot of strict rules for a kid. Moreover, it is easily seen that many Asian companies have very strict organisation structure and rules

On the other hand, youngstes allowed to do many things they want have more confidence and easily speak their own opinions. Without supression by many rules, kids might feel more free to express their expression and think what they want, which lead to being confident. For example, opposite to Asian culture, we can notice that Western people speak their opinions loudly and have stronger and confident personality.

To sum up, both ways have different merits. If parents bring up kids under the proper amount of rules with encouraging expression of their opinions, it might have both benefits.
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Ryan
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Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by Ryan »

Thank you for your submissions!

50 submissions? Wow. I'm going to be busy. :) Please give me a few days to correct these and get the results video up.
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Ryan
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Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by Ryan »

Excuse the delay! I've finally finished assessing all 50 of your submissions. Here is a list of the results. Please note that groupings are by band and do not necessarily descend in strength:

Band 7
1. s_q_2000
2. mediannoche
3. yue

Band 6
4. olga
5. Abi
6. Windfa
7. Denise
8. ieltsp
9. ieltsk
10. sayyespatel

11. pyfong
12. kshahzad
13. EdoardoLipari
14. jinu
15. graziana90
16. wtqsaber
17. M. Johnson
18. Guyla
19. Ludovica
20. Delvydavis
21. Alexander
22. drspsenthil
23. adit

Band 5
24. rahulk.4
25. Znack
26. Anton

27. Antony
28. Samy25
29. Huda
30. drvishalm.
31. Buddy
32. Kate hwang
33. manpreet
34. Alita
35. Almour'ai
36. Ya123
37. Pokamamum

Band 4
38. Erdalocaktan
39. Oleaf0503
40. Suryapradeep
41. Suhaibkhilji
42. Leusik7
43. Lina
44. Aripriya
45. Annie A

46. Surya
47. ielts.practice2
48. nmia
49. habeeb
50. rovamitaral

In this video, I go over each essay in turn:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcWyAVsa5JU

I've also written a band 9 essay in response to the essay question:
Childrearing strategies vary from culture to culture around the world. But a commonality shared by all parenting styles is that they establish boundaries for children to help guide their development as people. Some believe a more stricter approach to parenting is best, while others refute this in favour of leniency that allows children to learn to engage the world with a certain amount of freedom. Both opinions will be critiqued before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.

Many Eastern cultures believe a very regimented and dominating parenting style is best for a child’s upbringing. This is seen particularly in countries like China, where children are allowed to do little else besides study. Although some may argue this ‘tiger parenting’ style may damage a person’s ability to make decisions for themselves later in life, it does have the benefit of getting extremely high academic results. In 2010, Shanghainese high school students scored higher than any other demographic region in a leveled aptitude test. Thus, it is understandable why many support this parenting style.

However, there are others that feel a more lenient form of parenting best helps children develop independence. Take the parenting style most widely practiced in North America as an example. In this area, parents tend to allow their children to take command of their own lives and typically trust their kids to be responsible enough to meet deadlines and achieve high grades without parental intervention. It is often argued this parenting style helps develop leaders as opposed to workers. Thus, the attraction to this parenting style can also be seen.

After analyzing both points of view, it is felt that a more regimented parenting style helps push students to achieve their full potential and avoid falling victim to the natural laziness that befalls young people when they are not challenged. It is thus hoped that the Western world reverts to the stricter forms of parenting and schooling it employed in the early twentieth century.
If you would like to talk about the results, I'm opening this thread up for discussion.

Thank you for getting involved.
Meredith Johnson
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Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2013 4:39 am

Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by Meredith Johnson »

Thank you very much.
I thought my response did not fully answer the question.
What are the merits of each? NOT OK
What is your position? OK
Do you think it that way?
s_q_2000
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Dec 03, 2013 5:55 am

Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by s_q_2000 »

Hi Ryan,

Thank you so much for providing us with your feedback and scores.

I have a couple of questions to ask you:

1} My biggest shortcoming is that I struggle for content. This results in me consuming more time to come up the right content and I end up making grammar mistakes (aside the grammar mistakes that happen due to shortcomings in my skill level). Since English is not my first language I do have to spend more time and energy to ensure my grammar is right (as opposed to a native speaker who might find that correct grammar flows more naturally in his or her writing).

This is a bigger concern in speaking, especially task 2 of the speaking module. I recently took up the IELTS general module test. I scored 7.5 in speaking and writing. Upon revaluation, my writing score increased to 8.5 but my speaking score was 7.5.

Do you have any advice on how to prepare to be able to come up with the content?

Is it intentional on part of IELTS organization to give vague topics for speaking? For example, I got a topic for speaking task 2 "Speak about a competition you would like to take part in" - for which I had to improvise, as I did not have content for this and the 1 minute was not enough to make points especially considering the nerves and also a bit of panic as soon as I saw the topic was something I did not have an opinion on.

2} Do you think it is a drawback that my essay in this contest was over 400 words?

Thank you
s_q_2000
mohamedabouhemeid
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Joined: Sat Dec 14, 2013 12:07 pm

Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by mohamedabouhemeid »

In many area around the world particularly in the eastern part where the family ties are still strong, people teach their sons and daughters how to behave in every single situation and the child has no well or even any choice to agree or reject. For example in my country Palestine where I had grown up ,it is still a costume that when you see your grandpa or grandma you have to kiss the back of their hands as symbol of respect and if you do not , you would be considered irrespective to the elders. Moreover, these communities although it look old fashioned and traditional ,they seem more well-knitting with high degree of relations and healthy social relations.
On the other hands , in the more industrized community where the rhythm of the life is faster and the life challenges are more complicated , like in western countries , people tend to give their children the right to select what they prefer and permit them to do whatever they want , for example they can stay out homes for few days and sometime they can separated to live away from their parents when they are still not mature enough this kind of strategy may allow children to take responsibilities over their life at younger age and teach them how to face the obstacles in their life but it may carry a risk of damaging the family values.
In my opinion, it is not bad to have some strict rules regarding the behaviors of our children but we need to give them an area of freedom where they can develop their way of thinking and build up their own lifestyle.
vnskrajiv
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Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2013 4:35 pm

Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by vnskrajiv »

People of different cultures have different methods in rising their children,but all have a ultimate positive goal to tune them to better adults.People of some cultures think being strict will achive it,while others feel the opposite way works better.Advantages of rearing children in these different styles will be discussed in following paragraphs and best will be qouted in conclusion.

Some people trust that child can have more advantages when one is instructed well and questioned for mistakes.The child rearing culture of ancient Indians is best exemplery of this view,children of those time in India use to spend most of their time with their guru's ,who are scholars.They use to be very strict and never tolerate a single mistake .This kind of behaviour makes them to attune themselves to any kind of situations in life.In turn learners become a disciplined scholars themselves.Thus,the extreme benefits of growing child in strict conditions can be observed.

Other view of rearing is giving children great choice of freedom in their lives.For example in USA children are never forced by adults in all aspects of life.This greatly works when they are choosing their carrers.Younger people choosing the subjects which they are inclined about is leading them to achive grater sucess,this is the reason why American's are in top position through out the world.This kind of freedom given them is also sculpturing them to better decision makers than any one.Thus,the possitives of being lenient are understood.

To reiterate when children are grown under strict contions they can adopt to any other,while they are given freedom they achive more in their carrers.It is obvious that children being adoptable to any condion is more important than all,so being strict can have advantages.It is recomended that parents of America can learn how to control their children,but continue their way of giving freedom when their offspring are choosing their carrers,to make them even more better people.
vnskrajiv
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Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2013 4:35 pm

Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by vnskrajiv »

People of different cultures have different methods in rising their children,but all have a ultimate positive goal to tune them to better adults.People of some cultures think being strict will achive it,while others feel the opposite way works better.Advantages of rearing children in these different styles will be discussed in following paragraphs and best will be qouted in conclusion.

Some people trust that child can have more advantages when one is instructed well and questioned for mistakes.The child rearing culture of ancient Indians is best exemplery of this view,children of those time in India use to spend most of their time with their guru's ,who are scholars.They use to be very strict and never tolerate a single mistake .This kind of behaviour makes them to attune themselves to any kind of situations in life.In turn learners become a disciplined scholars themselves.Thus,the extreme benefits of growing child in strict conditions can be observed.

Other view of rearing is giving children great choice of freedom in their lives.For example in USA children are never forced by adults in all aspects of life.This greatly works when they are choosing their carrers.Younger people choosing the subjects which they are inclined about is leading them to achive grater sucess,this is the reason why American's are in top position through out the world.This kind of freedom given them is also sculpturing them to better decision makers than any one.Thus,the possitives of being lenient are understood.

To reiterate when children are grown under strict contions they can adopt to any other,while they are given freedom they achive more in their carrers.It is obvious that children being adoptable to any condion is more important than all,so being strict can have advantages.It is recomended that parents of America can learn how to control their children,but continue their way of giving freedom when their offspring are choosing their carrers,to make them even more better people.
katapo
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Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by katapo »

In some cultures such as Thailand, children are expected to follow very strict rules of behavior. I am growing with Thai's norm and we have quite strict rules to follow until we finish university. In other cultures, children are allowed to do almost anything they want. We can see the different when they are toddler. Thais will feed food and clean their toddler while the same age of other country feed themselves.

One rules is related to the uniform, including hair style and other rules in the school. We pretend to follow the rule but always try to seek some opportunities to break out. We have been followed the rule for a hundred year but in few months ago, someone raise their doubt about why we have to uniform and actually the teacher give the answer that it's our culture and we have been follow a long time so the student should not doubt. Another norm that we follow by absence is 'respect and no doubt on elder age'. Normally we don't argue with elder people even the youth didn't agree with. Anyway I found that rule quite weakness than past and in the urban area.

The point of follow the rule or not is 'decision'. One who follow the rule always familiar to make decision with their norm and balance norm and their willing, while the one who grow up without rule always follow their willing.

In my opinion, the biggest impact, we followed the rule from we are toddler, growing with unfamiliar with argument and creativity. We are quite not brave to give the reason if we are not agree with or break out and follow our dream, also rarely think out of the norm we have hold on. Anyway positive side that Thai is the one nation well known about politeness and smiling.

I do agree with balance of the necessary rule while respect their right to follow their willing. As Thai's uniform is the one of unnecessary rule, if the schooling don't focus on uniform, they may have time to improve the student's skill more. With some norm as respect and take care the family is the good one to do but we can have argument with elder if we have to. We can show our respect even we do not agree with, etc.
avsurti
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Joined: Sat Dec 07, 2013 8:38 am

Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by avsurti »

Is this contest still ON ?
Can i post my essay
ieltsk
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2013 11:36 am

Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by ieltsk »

Hi Ryan,

Thank you very much for your feed back. I'm ieltsk. ieltsp is a different person by the way.

I have the same dilemma as s_q_2000. I simply cannot come up any specific idea in certain topics such a short period of time. And I did not even know I need to give one until I watch your video and thought it is ok to give general ideas :) Well, this is at least how I communicate in every day life. Maybe that's why IELTS is so difficult! I sometimes think I would be stuck to write/speak about the IELTS sort of topics in my own language.

Anyway, I found that following the rules of English essay writing is quite hard for me. There are a few thing I didn't know until I go to the university in an English speaking country. For example, sentence should not start with "but", paragraph has to be a block of one idea and paragraph has to be two or more sentences, etc. And now I learned even paragraph has a topic sentence, supporting sentence(s) and a conclusion! So, it takes a little while to allocate my idea to where it should be. Then, I end up running out the time and cannot check my grammar!

Considering these, it was really valuable for me to have some feed back from IELTS teacher like you, otherwise I'd never know. I wish IELTS could gives us each elements of the band so that we'll know where we need to improve. We pay a fair bit of money for the exam and the numbers are already there so why don't they?!

Thank you again for your videos. I kind of lost my motivation but you raised it up again :) Keep up the good work!
Lilia
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Joined: Tue Dec 17, 2013 12:20 pm
Location: Yerevan

Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by Lilia »

Nowadays one of the most important points in our life is the education and behavior of our children. Each family, no matter where they live, care about their children. There are different opinions as to how grow up the children. Some of people argue that children should be grown in very strict rules. They surely say that children become more responsible and honest when they are grown that way. They will be able in future to work under pressure, to follow the rules wherever they are. Meanwhile there are a lot people that allow their children do anything they want. They never beat them, never shout at them and do whatever they ask.
Well, to cut a long story short, I think that everything depends on family, its religion, culture, relatives, views, ancestries and many other factors.
For example let's talk about religions. Buddhism, Muslim or Christianity each one has its views and rules on that point. For example Muslim children are grown up in very strict rules meanwhile Christianian kids are usually allowed to do anything they want. Yet the important point to note is that sometimes children who were grown up in very strict rules become murderers, terrorists or killers and the same can happen with the children who were allowed to do anything. So what is the point of that?
On my opinion everything depends on family, on parents and on environment. Each child first of all should be grown in love no matter what are the rules in the family. Sometimes it is important to be strict with the child so that to let him know what is good and what is bad but at the same time the child should explore and sometimes do what he wants to do in the frames of normal behavior. Parents should fill when to be strict with the child and when not.
Majeda
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Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by Majeda »

Some people think that children's behavior must be bounded with a strict rules to have a good manners. While other people believe that pressure leads to expulsion and the children must be allowed to do whatever they want. In this essay we are going to discuss both point of view and explain advantages of each.

Nowadays we find rules playing an important aspect in work, school athletics and traffic. Rules exist to force people to follow the law because there are punishment if they don't. It's exactly the same for raising a child were rules become an essential part in order to get good ethics. Also it prevents children from doing wrong things that may get them harmed. Moreover, parents could feel more comfortable knowing that they have though their children correctly and done their fully.

On the other hand, rules create a fence prevents children from seeing the world correctly. To be more specific, Children must discovered the world's rules by themselves and to learn from their mistakes. Furthermore, Those children who raised by this modern method grow up to be better adults, because they have lead the journey of life by their own and life had sleek their skills and personality.

To sum up, everyone has a point of view on how to raise a child, but parents should pick the right method to do so. In my opinion, there should be balance between the tow, so not to hold those children's breaths from discovering the world and not to give the eternal freedom.
gagan.707
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Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by gagan.707 »

Childhood is the foundation of what lies ahead in a person's life. In my opinion a child should be disciplined but at the same time there should not be too many restrictions imposed on him/her, which may curtail his/her free thinking.

Children in western or developed societies are generally given more freedom than their counterparts in eastern or developing nations. This comparatively liberal treatment of children has its own merits. It makes children self independent and more confident. They learn to face hardships in life and do not seek constant support in making decisions, which is a direct consequence of freedom bestowed on them from a young age. For instance, children in western societies express themselves to their parents freely about topics which are still considered a taboo in developing nations.

At the same time making a child follow strict rules also has certain merits. A child may not be able to judge the right thing in many situations due to lack of experience and rules of conduct help a child to make the right decision. Young age is very impressionable hence prescribing a moral code to a child will help him/her chose the correct path.

Hence giving freedom and disciplining a child, both have their own merits. In may view a balance should be maintained between the two. A child should be guided in situations that demand wisdom and experience to make a decision, at the same time he should be given enough freedom which inculcates free thinking and encourages the child to explore his/her individuality.
leptirica
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Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by leptirica »

Well, I consider that the parenthood is the hardest university in the world. Parents have the only one desire to raise their children, and someday those children become honest, honorable and successful people, so they would be proud.
Most parents have rules, and they explain their children to respect them, and act in accordance with them. If their children no respect those rules , they have to punish them, for their own good. However, that is the best way to teach children how to behave in different situations, and everyone should follow rules of behaviour.
If children are allowed to do almost anything they want, they are spoiled, and they have no respect for anyone, for example, for their teachers in the school, for older people, for their parents. Those children , by growing up, become arrogant, brash, dominant, and sometimes, it is hard establish communication with them. They are not pleasant for society, and most people are avoiding them.
My opinion is that both ways of raising children have positive and negative sides, therefore, parents have to be moderate, not too strict but also not too lenient. Everyone wants all the best for their children, but sometimes, when we are allowing our children everything they want, they exploit it. Someday when parents want to stop such a spoiled behaviour, it’s too late. Therefore, parents are feel guilty, because, they think they are not good parents, they failed to raise children, other parents are better then they, because their children are obedient. Modesty, obedience and kindness are important manners for each person, which we need to instill in our children to be a quality person.
fatmaker
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Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by fatmaker »

Cultural differences are the main reason that leads to the different manner of behavior. In some countries, children are forced to follow many serious rules. In other cultures, kids can do anything if they want to without strict requirement of behavior. Each community has fundamentally affects to the growth and completion of life skills of children, thus this essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages.

In some countries, rules of behavior have to be seriously followed by children. This is a good educational manner because they can discipline themselves. Consequently, kids are always aware of politely behaving, being respectful and getting on well with others classmates, teachers or adults. On the other hand, the following rules can make children feel governed and unnatural in behaving. Also, they have no chances to demonstrate their own ideas or even themselves. For example, they have to study compulsory subjects to which they don’t really like.

In other educations, children have freedom to do anything they want without rules of behavior. Basically, this thing will help children to be more nature in communicating with others, even their teachers. Also, creativity and curiosity based on this liberty are encouraged and developed. However, there are some disadvantages. Lack of respect about which children are not taught can be the first problem. Secondly, when kids grow up, behavior skills become an important part entirely. Thus, if they are not educated about this, it can be a disadvantage of them.

In conclusion, these two manners of behavior have also advantages and disadvantages. The main point is that people taking responsibility for education should customize the right manner to their educational circumstances. As a result, children will have good base to grow well.
sremtron
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Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by sremtron »

Each country has its own culture which has a direct influence on the children’s behavior. Children growing in cultured society are having a better chance of getting groomed as civilized person.Cultured society gives a change for children to learn good behavior by mingling with people in the society. In a cultured society children are taught with a good set of behavioral rules to make then understand the value of self-obedience.
Boarding schools in California were famous for their behavioral rules were students are made to follow the rules diligently.Students who disobey the rules are given harsh punishments and even suspended from classes.The rules clearly imprinted a systematic lifestyle to the students like walking in line while going to swimming classes, no musical classes and no ice creams inside school campus.The strict behavioral rules made the students stressed and disintegrated to a state they are even hesitant to approach class teachers for any clarifications.The management realized a unpleasant atmosphere prevailing inside the campus due to the strict behavioral rules and finally decided to relax the rules which will not overstress the students and providing bandwidth to practice on their extracurricular activities.This has enhanced the behavioral pattern of students to a great extent and helping to excel in all areas of their personal and professional life.

But in African countries due to their uncivilized culture behavioral rules are not taught to their children which has shown a very negative effect towards their society.Children are becoming adamant and not respecting their elder generation.Even qualified mentors are finding difficult to tackle them because they are not used to follow any behavioral rules.

Children should be taught behavioral patterns to a extent they enjoy following it and not with strict behavioral pattern or with no behavioral rules which are no good to them.Hence Irrespective of cultural difference it is mandatory to teach and guide the children with behavioral rules without over stressing them
delvydavis
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Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by delvydavis »

Guys....
This essay contest is over!

Delvy
PAST IELTS:
(09-06-2012) L-7,R-6.6,W-5.5,S-8.5 ; Overall-7.0
(06-07-2013) L-6.5,R-7,W-5.5,S-6.5 ; Overall-6.5
(21-09-2013) L-6.5,R-6.5,W-7.5,S-7; Overall-7.0
(07-12-2013) L-8.0,R-7.0,W-7.5,S-8.5 Overall-8.0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFn4S3z_WO4
lucky_x27
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Joined: Fri Jan 03, 2014 6:38 pm

Essay writing contest!

Post by lucky_x27 »

Different cultures have very strong influence on the individuals,especially on children. In some parts of the world, children have to follow very strict rules. On the other hand there are children, who are free to do anything. There are no certain limits or obligations that they need to follow.

Mostly, in developing countries children are forced to obey certain instructions. They can not live the life which they want to live,until a certain age. Parents are involved in all areas of life of the children. For example in my country, some parents select the girl or boy for their children to get married and even they choose the subjects for them to study. Growing up in such kind of environment may affect the abilities of children. For example, they can not develop the self confidence, they can not solve their issues by themselves and importantly they will start depending on others.

As compared to this, in developed and rich countries, children have less restrictions that they need to follow. Parents are not concern about their moral values. Most parents just send their children to school at an early age. After that their responsibilities are finished. No doubt this attitude can develop some bad habits in the children. In school there are children of every kind. If parents don't keep an eye on their children, there is very chance that children can adopt the bad habits like smoking, drinking at an early age.

In conclusion, I would say that there should be some rules or instructions which need to be followed by the children but this shouldn't be hard or difficult. Guidance is very necessary for the children at an early age. Only then they can get the moral values and become good citizens.
Noorali
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jan 04, 2014 11:27 am

Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by Noorali »

Today's most sophisticated and unique social customs and it's civilization plays a major role in deciding the career of young generation. This can be clearly understood by contemplating the success of children's life in different ethnicities.Analyzing the advantages of both different attitudes in bringing up in children will help us in appreciating the right path for the budding world.

Firstly, practicing tough rules in early days of life will conduce discipline and dignity in young citizens of the world.For example, students in countries like Saudi Arabia are banned from wearing revealing fabrics and consuming alcohol.
These rules have predominantly curtailed the rate of child crimes and sexual related crimes in the city.Thus,it becomes very clear that following hard rules in young age results in a safe and disciplined environment to live.

On the other hand,not imposing tough rules and letting the children to follow their dreams produces exquisite creativity and innovation in their life.For instance,continents such as America motivates its spring generation to work hard on their aspirations rather than following hardcoded rules of the life.this has led their society to top the list of patents and inventions ,since the inception of mankind.With this , it is highly believed that this liberty to young aspirants on their life has produced impeccable results.Thus,it is clear that not confining them to orthodox rules triggers new ideas that can change lives of the mankind.

To conclude, both the behaviors on bringing up the next generation has its own merits.Excess of one such attitude implied to kids will induce harmful results. Hence ,we should persuade the upcoming technologically captivated children to follow a mix of both strict and unorthodox behaviors in their personal life to thrive in this enchanting world of happiness.
eng.husam79
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Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2014 10:01 am

Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by eng.husam79 »

In the Far-east and the Middle East countries, parents and grandparents used to live together in one house. In fact, their children were dominated by them and they were unable to take any general or private decision in their lives. Throughout history, generally this kind of culture has been changed greatly and it is agreed that the parents should leave a free space for their children to take some decisions which would help them to improve their confidence and awareness. In today’s modern world, parents in the Western countries are following an opened relation with their children which allow them to do anything they like. In my opinion, I believe that both cultures would have advantages and disadvantages which affect the children lives.

For people who believe that dealing with children should be restricted to the family rules only, they may have several reasons. Two of which could be the limited life experience of their children and the poor education in their countries. For instance, children in Gulf countries are not allowed to use the public transportation to go to their school and buy their own stuff by themselves. This makes it clear of how the culture would affect the type of relation between the parents and their children. As this shows an enormous gab between people way of thinking and the life’s demands.

In addition to this, people who support the idea of giving the children full control on their personal lives, they may consider one fact which is improving the self-confidence of the child. For example children in the Western countries are allowed to travel abroad alone without their parent but under the school managements. It is obvious from this that such a child would have a stronger personality and much better awareness to take serious decisions than others.

In conclusion, although giving the children a freedom to choose what they like is beneficial to build their characters, this freedom should be with certain circumstances to avoid life problems.
jaydeep
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Joined: Tue Jan 07, 2014 10:07 am

Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by jaydeep »

Culture is basically an idea to live life with a particular style, a set of rules. In some cultures, rules are quiet hard to follow due to their strictness, but still, parents make their children to follow them. There could be possible reasons for that. First of all, these rules develop conscience to take deci-sions. Secondly, following rules imbibes a sense of discipline in an individual. Lastly, in a cultural plat-form, a child learns about being responsible in his early age, which makes him more sincere towards accomplishing tasks and ultimately, achieving success.
However, cultures which emphasize more on independence of an individual rather than following a set of rules are getting popular now a days. The clearest reason is the freeness to do things without any interruption from parents or relatives. This helps a child to take his own decisions. Secondly, one can generate the conscience based on his own experiences rather than inheriting them from culture. And most importantly, an individual can feel the sense of independence, the prime booty of life.
But, in my opinion, rules are made for the safety and comfort of the people. Also, a set of protocols helps a person in taking decisions whenever he is in dilemma. However, if these rules are dominantly harsh in nature, they can make one feel bounded in the virtual chains of culture. This can result in negative psychological repercussions.
To sum up, there are both pros and cons of following the cultural rules. But, it is the sole responsibility of the elderly to understand the fast changing world and guide children based on experience instead of directly making them to follow the rules. It is always preferred to go beyond boundaries of culture to assure positive growth of a child and society.
coolcatmora
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jan 07, 2014 4:00 am

Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by coolcatmora »

Throughout the world the way children are being brought up has significant differences. This is mainly due to the degree of rules that prevail in their families. While some believe that children must have rigorous code of conduct, others, however, support a no rules environment for them. Thus the benefits of both these approaches will be discussed in order before a reasoned conclusion is made.
On the one hand, advantages of cultures with strong rules for children are considered, this methodology ensures that they are brought up in the right path. For example, facilities such as internet can easily draw children towards uncensored materials that can provoke them to get involve in abusive activities. Such instances can easily be avoided when their parents maintain strict rules such as that their children can only access internet in their presence.
On the other hand, cultures that have hardly any rules for children are looked into, these children become more matured and independent thinkers from a young age. A very good example for this is what is been practiced in most of the western countries where children are given the freedom to do whatever they intend to and eventually, they learn from that experience. Because of this these children develop their self confidence and become less dependent on their parents.
After taking everything into consideration, both sides of having rigorous and no rules for children have strong benefits. Nevertheless, after analyzing these views it is clear that the positive aspects of giving freedom to children outweigh the advantages of being strict. As such it is recommended that the children should be given an uncontrolled environment to make their own path in live and this can only be a good thing.
fly2shashi
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jan 12, 2014 9:43 am

Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by fly2shashi »

Every country has its own culture which defines how the children are brought-up. In some countries, for example, belonging to Asian continent, societies impose very strict rules in upbringing their children. While in other countries, for example, Western, children grow freely without having to follow any rules of behaviour. It can not be denied that, both these ways of shaping a child’s future have their own advantages. This essay discusses both the views before reaching a conclusion.

On one hand, in many of the Asian countries, such as India, China and Japan, a child has to follow certain rules, rules of strict behaviour. These children are taught how to respect others, how to spend their time, doing what activities. It can not be denied that children have an enormous grasping power at a tender age and they continue to follow these rules when they grow older, to be accepted by a society. This approach, however, limits a child’s ability to think out of the box and tend to do what they are told.

On the other hand, culture in Western countries, such as the United States of America, allows their children to be free from any kind of rules as how to behave, what activities they can perform. Adolescents from these countries being free to think, use their own ideas to shape their future. Without having to agree to what their parents wants them to be, they tend to be in a better position to utilize their innovation and creativeness to excel in their chosen profession. Absolute freedom, however, sometimes can be very dangerous, for example, if a child falls prey for drug abuse.

While both the ways of upbringing a child has its own advantages, looking at the above discussion, it can be concluded that a moderation in how the child can be brought-up can be beneficial. Letting the child to be free and at the same time parents guiding them about what is good or bad for them would probably shape a child’s future to be a better one.

Thank you in advance for reviewing my essay (though the timeline before which this essay was supposed to be posted has completed).
I always seems to be getting around 6.5 in my writing. I always write in the same style as above, not sure what's wrong.
My upcoming IELTS GT exam is on 18-Jan-2014 in India.

Thanks,
Shashi
Analaranjeira
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Dec 23, 2013 7:49 pm

Re: You have 72 hours to enter this essay writing contest!

Post by Analaranjeira »

There is no doubt that across the world exits different cultures and different behaviors and educations. In this essay I will discuss why in some countries the children are allowed to do what they want and in other countries they have very strict rules.

First, it is believed by some that children must grow up and have strict rules. At some point I agree with this point of view because I believe that children must have rules to understand the difference between evil and kindness, bad of good. Good manners and humility it's not to much in a human being. However not so many rules because children are always children.

In the other hand, we have the other point of view were children are allowed to do what they want. An impressive example were we clearly we see children of all ages , walking with drugs or guns is in Brazilian slums. Those children don't have education, food or even good houses to live. It's true that Brazilian people are poor but in slums they do what they want for there there are no rules.

Summarizing, as I am concerned it is true that we have so many different cultures around the world and due to that different children educations. So, if we want to develop, to grow, we have to educate our children with moderation. They need strict rules but also need to be allowed to have some liberty and this is my believe.



Ana Laranjeira :)
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