Please check my writing and give your suggestion

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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khulan_8824
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Joined: Fri Oct 17, 2014 4:45 am

Please check my writing and give your suggestion

Post by khulan_8824 »

Task 2: Some people think that professional athletes make good role model for young people, while others believe they don't. Discuss both these points and give your opinion.

Answer:

Many top athelets admired throughout the countries and most of them have an aspiring story for reaching on top. There is a common belief among some people that professional athletes are good rol model for young generations. Meanwhile, another popular opinion is that they don't deserve title of "role model".
Most of the youngsters inspired by athletes. Thus, they have a very strong urge to become one of them. Almost all of the athletes telling success depends on 1% talent and 99% hard work which is good way to set child mind on hard working in order to become successful. Also, playng sport itself has many benefits including better health, team work, goal setting, facing success as well as failure.

In the other hand, some celebrity sportsman has problems on attitude towards public, drug usage et cetera. Since they are on top of the world, people respect them like a god. So, they turn to become very aggressive and big headed. They do anything they want which makes children to think such kind of behaviour is okay. Another big problem includes drug usage to boost their performance. For instance, about 2 to 3 years ago, famous cyclist, number of gold medal holder Mr. Armstrong had reported using drugs and eventually prohibited to participate any contests ever. So, people like him are setting bad example in society, especially for children.

From my point of view, it is good to have certain goal about whom to follow and what to do. Just because of one rotten apple, the whole bunch of others are bad. Having a role model is great way to improve children's own personal skills as long as they focus on positive aspects of playing sports
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Flick
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Re: Please check my writing and give your suggestion

Post by Flick »

khulan_8824 wrote:Task 2: Some people think that professional athletes make good role model for young people, while others believe they don't. Discuss both these points and give your opinion.

Answer:

Many top athletes are admired throughout the world, and most of them have an inspiring story for reaching on top. There is a common belief among some people that professional athletes are good role models for younger generations. Meanwhile, another popular opinion is that they don't deserve the title of "role model".
Many youngsters are inspired by athletes. Thus, they have a very strong urge to become athletes themselves. Almost all successful athletes say that success depends on 1% talent and 99% hard work which is good way to set a child's mind on hard work in order to become successful. Also, playng sport itself has many benefits including better health, team work, goal setting, and facing success as well as failure.

On the other hand, some celebrity sportsmen have problems with attitude towards the public, drug usage, et cetera. Since they are on top of the world, people respect them like gods. So, they become very aggressive and big headed. They do whatever they want which makes children think such behaviour is okay. Another big problem is drug usage to boost performance. For instance, about 2 years ago, the famous, gold medal cyclist, Lance Armstrong, admitted using drugs and was eventually prohibited from competing. So, people like him set a bad example in society, especially for children.

From my point of view, it is good to have certain goals about whom to follow and what to do. Just because of one rotten apple, the whole bunch of others are bad.(<--The correct saying is: 'One rotten apple spoils the bunch.' However, this is the opposite of your argument.) Having a role model is great way to improve children's own personal skills as long as they focus on the positive aspects of playing sport.
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