Hello, my name is Hitin

[hitin]

Hello, my name is Hitinder Bawani. You can call me Hitin.
I am originally from India, from Jammu city, which is also the winter capital of Jammu & Kashmir state. Jammu & Kashmir is in the north of the country sharing border with Pakistan on the west and north, China on eastern side.

Jammu has a population of close to 1 million and is along the bank of river Tawi. Which is a very old river and holy too, like most of the other rivers in India. Jammu has a railway station, bus station, and an airport.

I live in the south west part of the city, it is also considered as the outskirts. Jammu is not as developed as the rest of cities in India, however it is still better and probably falls under a class b category, in my opinion. People in Jammu are friendly and most of them own businesses. Having said that, there is significant amount of population either working for government or into farming. Jammu is also one of the highest producer of famous "Basmati rice".

Jammu has lots of schools and colleges, I did my study here in Jammu and started my career as a Computer Trainer in one of the local company.

Further, Jammu is also called as the city of temple, as one can find a lot of temples around every corner of the city. Some of the temples are as old as a century and hold significant values among the religious people. There are some old palace and castles as well, some of these are not converted into museum for precautionary measures.

Finally, I would like to say that Jammu is an above average city and a fantastic tourist place.

P.S: Please feel free to correct this intro.

[neeraj]

Hello Hitin,
It was a good attempt to write an excellent intro. However, I found myriad use of Conjunctions in a single sentence; which could be minimized. Also, you wrote too much about your city rather than yourself. It was giving an impression if you were writing about your city.

P.S. I am an amateur and it was my personal comment.

Thanks
Neeraj