task 2 can anyone access this ?

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
mahendran
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Mar 23, 2014 7:38 am

task 2 can anyone access this ?

Post by mahendran »

Question: Now a days, the way many people interact with each other has changed in technology. In what ways a technology affects the type of relationship. Has this positive or negative feedback?
Answer:
Now a days, many people interact with each other by using new technology. I strongly agreed with this statement to extend that people spend a lot of time with cell phones and Internet. It leads to affect the human relationship.
Initially, I would like to say about cell phones. Everybody uses cell phone all over India. Mainly women are using cell phone for a long time in a day. People do not worry about their cell phone charges. In the positive side, we can communicate with each other. But in the negative side people lose their money unnecessarily. Hence young boys and girls use cell phones and fell in love also they got married at a small age. After marriage they realize that they lose their life.
Moreover, I would like to discuss about Internet. Many people spend their time with computer. They are always surfing with Internet. Not only people who communicate with each other, but also they spend lot of time chatting with friends through Skype and messenger. Furthermore, many college students use face book and twitter. They spend their time to see the face book images and post their comments and then both college students and employees are using Linked-Inn for making and maintaining their friendship.
On the other hand, some people use Internet unnecessarily, they consume their time for watching films and censored sites. Some people use their time with internet to abuse. Terrorist use face book and twitter and mail communication. It causes, students become terrorists.
Finally, in my conclusion, there are many advantages to use latest technology. To avoid disadvantages government should ban the unwanted sites. Parents should allow their children to surf with internet at minimum hours. So that people can get lot of information from internet.
durai
Posts: 401
Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2014 6:35 pm

Re: task 2 can anyone access this ?

Post by durai »

hello Mahendran,

Now a days ("nowadays" one word), many people interact with each other by using new technology. I strongly agreed with this statement to some extent("extend"is wrong) that people spend a lot of time with cell phones and Internet. It "leads to" (would ) affect the human relationship. ( not a good introduction, go through many ielts essays to follow right procedure )

Initially, I would like to say about cell phones. Everybody uses cell phone all over India. Mainly women are using cell phone for a long time in a day. People do not worry about their cell phone charges. In the positive side, we can communicate with each other. But in the negative side people lose their money unnecessarily. Hence young boys and girls use cell phones and fell in love also they got married at a small age. After marriage they realize that they lose their life. ( very short scripts , no central topic , no idea developed, irrelevant to question|)

Moreover, I would like to discuss about Internet. Many people spend their time with computer. They are always surfing with Internet. Not only people who communicate with each other, but also they spend lot of time chatting with friends through Skype and messenger. Furthermore, many college students use face book and twitter. They spend their time to see the face book images and post their comments and then both college students and employees are using Linked-Inn for making and maintaining their friendship. ( does these mean it affects relationship positively or negatively)

On the other hand, some people use Internet unnecessarily, they consume their time for watching films and censored sites. Some people use their time with internet to abuse. Terrorist use face book and twitter and mail communication. It causes, students become terrorists. ( again irrelevant ideas|)
Finally, in my conclusion, there are many advantages to use latest technology. To avoid disadvantages government should ban the unwanted sites. Parents should allow their children to surf with internet at minimum hours. So that people can get lot of information from internet.

TR band 5, because some ideas irrelevant, some are relevant not developed
CC band 5, quite easy to follow what you trying to say but simple sentences
LR band 4, more repeated words, poor word choices

people 9
time 7
internet 7
cell 6
use 6
spend 4
many 4
book 3
face 3
students 3
phones 3
lot 3
each 3
phone 3
using 3
college 2
unnecessarily 2
lose 2
technology 2
sites 2
twitter 2
side 2
communicate 2

GR & A band 5, only simple and short sentences, no complex sentences

overall looks like band 4.5 to 5

mahendran.please go through ielts essays and try follow the same patterns, first structure your essay, then try answer the question, practice some grammatical structures,
JAN 2014 L 8.5 R 8 W 6.5 S 6.5
FEB 2014 L 8 R 8 W 7 S 6.5
APR 2014 L 8 R 9 W 6.5 S 7
JUN 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6
July 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6.5
OCT 2014 L 7.5 R 7 W 7 S 7
Post Reply