Hello,
Here is an essay.
It is believed by many people that ‘If people have more money, they are generally happier.’
To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
You should write at least 250 words
Essay
It is commonly believed that, money brings happiness. However, it is a deniable fact that, more wealthier a person is, more happier one is and happiness is directly related to money. According to me, money plays a vital in gaining happiness but a person feels joyful because of several reasons and they may or may be linked with money.
To begin with, money is important to satisfy the basic needs for survival. Nowadays, we require money everywhere, that could be educational institutions, hospitals, super markets, et cetera. A rich person can obviously afford to visit various places around the world, which makes one happier. Moreover, today, for spiritual or philosophical guidance one needs money. In few cases, one may obtain joy by helping the needy people by giving handsome amount of donations. In this way, one might get happiness. Therefore, one may consider that, ‘Money is the existing God’ in today’s world and one becomes happier when one has money. However, real happiness is priceless and it cannot be attained with money.
Some others may argue that, money could be useful to purchase the required things, nevertheless, one cannot buy happiness. For example, the happiness in the eyes of a mother when she gives birth to a baby cannot be bought by money. Next, real happiness is directly linked to the soul satisfaction. One can get exuberant joyness without money as if by participating in charity work. Hence, it is clear that, one cannot relate happiness with money.
To summarize, one may consider that money is very crucial in achieving happiness and some sort of people may consider that ‘money makes the mare go’. However, what I believe is that, money is certainly important factor but not a sole factor to achieve happiness. Thus, I strongly disagree that happiness is obtained by money in all the cases.
Essay evaluation
-
David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am
Re: Essay evaluation
Hi Vishwa,
Introduction - "it is a deniable fact" - Then is it really a fact? "plays a vital ROLE". "may or may NOT be"
First main paragraph - A few interesting ideas, but they could be more developed, or you could reduce the number of points and explain those in detail. You need to explain the relationship between the final sentence and the rest of the paragraph.
Second main paragraph - A little more development needed, but basically good ideas. Some strange phrasing,e.g. "exuberant joyness".
Conclusion - Good.
Overall, I suggest developing a few points rather than superficially mentioning many of them. Be a little careful of missing out important words. Vocab is generally good and there is a good range of grammatical structures, though with quite a lot of mistakes.
All the best,
David
Introduction - "it is a deniable fact" - Then is it really a fact? "plays a vital ROLE". "may or may NOT be"
First main paragraph - A few interesting ideas, but they could be more developed, or you could reduce the number of points and explain those in detail. You need to explain the relationship between the final sentence and the rest of the paragraph.
Second main paragraph - A little more development needed, but basically good ideas. Some strange phrasing,e.g. "exuberant joyness".
Conclusion - Good.
Overall, I suggest developing a few points rather than superficially mentioning many of them. Be a little careful of missing out important words. Vocab is generally good and there is a good range of grammatical structures, though with quite a lot of mistakes.
All the best,
David
Re: Essay evaluation
Hello,
Question:
The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure, business and commercial purposes around the world over recent years.
What do you think are the main advantages and disadvantages of such flights?
Do you think flights should be taxed more?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
You should write at least 250 words
essay:
The twenty first century has shown several changes as compared to the earlier decades, this happened because of globalization. Today, every part of the world is easily connected due advancements in the automobile industries. Now, one can have one’s breakfast in Tokyo, lunch in Paris and dinner in London, here what I mean to say is airways have made travelling enjoyable and easy. Due to myriad reasons, we could an enormous rise in the number of flights. This increase has both benefits and drawbacks.
Nowadays, people opt to travel by plane as it time saving and comfortable. For the business purposes, one has to travel regularly by flight. Moreover, this rocketing of flight number can be because of absence of tediousness in the air travel. Some people may argue that, this increase is highly beneficial. One might get surprised to know that, today, airways are one of the largest sectors in providing employment to youth. Furthermore, government could attain the huge tax returns, which can be used in the welfare programs of its public. Hence, one may agree that increase in the number of flights is in turn advantageous.
However, some other group of people may oppose the mentioned points and might counter argue. They claim that aero planes consume the nonrenewable fuel. Moreover, due to more flights, one could observe more emissions of harmful gases that pollute the atmosphere. For instance, here we can consider the occurrence of holes in the protective ozone layer. Therefore, they suggest to increasing the tax on flights so that it could be used less. Nevertheless, rise in tax or price or air tickets will not serve as a complete solution to this problem. What I suggest is that, research has to be conducted to invent the pollution free fuel which should be cheap and eco-friendly. To add more, we one think to increase the tax , then this would have no effect since the commuters by airways are generally financially rich people. Owing to these points, it is certainly clear that hike in tax could not serve as a ace to this moot issue.
To conclude, I believe that, rising tax in order to decrease the dangerous consequences of flight use is not the practical solution. Hence, I opine, one should opt the airways for the genuine reasons and avoid use of flights just for enjoyment and leisure
Question:
The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure, business and commercial purposes around the world over recent years.
What do you think are the main advantages and disadvantages of such flights?
Do you think flights should be taxed more?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
You should write at least 250 words
essay:
The twenty first century has shown several changes as compared to the earlier decades, this happened because of globalization. Today, every part of the world is easily connected due advancements in the automobile industries. Now, one can have one’s breakfast in Tokyo, lunch in Paris and dinner in London, here what I mean to say is airways have made travelling enjoyable and easy. Due to myriad reasons, we could an enormous rise in the number of flights. This increase has both benefits and drawbacks.
Nowadays, people opt to travel by plane as it time saving and comfortable. For the business purposes, one has to travel regularly by flight. Moreover, this rocketing of flight number can be because of absence of tediousness in the air travel. Some people may argue that, this increase is highly beneficial. One might get surprised to know that, today, airways are one of the largest sectors in providing employment to youth. Furthermore, government could attain the huge tax returns, which can be used in the welfare programs of its public. Hence, one may agree that increase in the number of flights is in turn advantageous.
However, some other group of people may oppose the mentioned points and might counter argue. They claim that aero planes consume the nonrenewable fuel. Moreover, due to more flights, one could observe more emissions of harmful gases that pollute the atmosphere. For instance, here we can consider the occurrence of holes in the protective ozone layer. Therefore, they suggest to increasing the tax on flights so that it could be used less. Nevertheless, rise in tax or price or air tickets will not serve as a complete solution to this problem. What I suggest is that, research has to be conducted to invent the pollution free fuel which should be cheap and eco-friendly. To add more, we one think to increase the tax , then this would have no effect since the commuters by airways are generally financially rich people. Owing to these points, it is certainly clear that hike in tax could not serve as a ace to this moot issue.
To conclude, I believe that, rising tax in order to decrease the dangerous consequences of flight use is not the practical solution. Hence, I opine, one should opt the airways for the genuine reasons and avoid use of flights just for enjoyment and leisure
Re: Essay evaluation
SirDavid.IELTS.Examiner wrote:Hi Vishwa,
Introduction - "it is a deniable fact" - Then is it really a fact? "plays a vital ROLE". "may or may NOT be"
First main paragraph - A few interesting ideas, but they could be more developed, or you could reduce the number of points and explain those in detail. You need to explain the relationship between the final sentence and the rest of the paragraph.
Second main paragraph - A little more development needed, but basically good ideas. Some strange phrasing,e.g. "exuberant joyness".
Conclusion - Good.
Overall, I suggest developing a few points rather than superficially mentioning many of them. Be a little careful of missing out important words. Vocab is generally good and there is a good range of grammatical structures, though with quite a lot of mistakes.
All the best,
David
I am new to this forum. I would like to ask if we can write etc in the essay or are shortcuts allowed.
-
David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am
Re: Essay evaluation
Hi Vishwa,
Basically, the organisation is clear. Be a little careful with some vocabulary and facts ...
1. business people do not have to travel by air
2. change 'attain' to 'gain' (re taxes)
3. you don't say why increasing tax will not work
4. I don't think that aviation fuel causes the ozone hole - recent reports say that the hole is disappearing
5. Banning flight for holidays/leisure will pretty much destroy the aviation industry
You might also want to check your grammar - quite a lot of mistakes, even basic ones.
All the best,
David
Basically, the organisation is clear. Be a little careful with some vocabulary and facts ...
1. business people do not have to travel by air
2. change 'attain' to 'gain' (re taxes)
3. you don't say why increasing tax will not work
4. I don't think that aviation fuel causes the ozone hole - recent reports say that the hole is disappearing
5. Banning flight for holidays/leisure will pretty much destroy the aviation industry
You might also want to check your grammar - quite a lot of mistakes, even basic ones.
All the best,
David
-
David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am
Re: Essay evaluation
Hello Sindu,
The use of abbreviations is not encouraged, but some are acceptable, e.g., etc., i.e.
David
The use of abbreviations is not encouraged, but some are acceptable, e.g., etc., i.e.
David
Re: Essay evaluation
Hello,
After reading your response, I went through my essay and saw very silly and strange mistakes, which could had been avoided in case I proofread before posting.
I suppose not to repeat such mistakes in my further essays.
Thanking you,
Vishwa.
After reading your response, I went through my essay and saw very silly and strange mistakes, which could had been avoided in case I proofread before posting.
I suppose not to repeat such mistakes in my further essays.
Thanking you,
Vishwa.
Re: Essay evaluation
Hello,
Here is an essay.
Question
In education, assessment through formal written examination is still valid. Discuss.
Answer:
Without any doubt, it is true that, education system still uses the formal written examination to assess a student’s caliber and talent. Advancements in technology has opened doors for other forms of assessing a student, but then too written exam is ever green method and I hope it will be valid in the coming future as well.
There are myriad reasons behind considering written test. It is convenient and easier way to check the level of the students. It would be time saving method because an education authority can assess some hundreds of students at a time by this form of examination. Moreover, this method is flexible and easy to conduct. However, after test, it requires more teachers to correct those written answer sheets.
To add more, today, we could find examinations which are the combination of written and oral tests in order to understand whether a student is capable of facing the new challenges in this competitive world. Take for an example, IELTS examination only, it assesses a candidate’s English skills over a wide range such as reading, listening, speaking and obviously writing to know the actual skills of a person.
In conclusion, according to my point of view, today, we may have several options to assess a candidate by many forms of tests; however, because of the convenience, comfort and clear results, which a written exam provides, it could not be replaced by other methods of testing.
Here is an essay.
Question
In education, assessment through formal written examination is still valid. Discuss.
Answer:
Without any doubt, it is true that, education system still uses the formal written examination to assess a student’s caliber and talent. Advancements in technology has opened doors for other forms of assessing a student, but then too written exam is ever green method and I hope it will be valid in the coming future as well.
There are myriad reasons behind considering written test. It is convenient and easier way to check the level of the students. It would be time saving method because an education authority can assess some hundreds of students at a time by this form of examination. Moreover, this method is flexible and easy to conduct. However, after test, it requires more teachers to correct those written answer sheets.
To add more, today, we could find examinations which are the combination of written and oral tests in order to understand whether a student is capable of facing the new challenges in this competitive world. Take for an example, IELTS examination only, it assesses a candidate’s English skills over a wide range such as reading, listening, speaking and obviously writing to know the actual skills of a person.
In conclusion, according to my point of view, today, we may have several options to assess a candidate by many forms of tests; however, because of the convenience, comfort and clear results, which a written exam provides, it could not be replaced by other methods of testing.
-
David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am
Re: Essay evaluation
Hi Vishwa,
This is reasonable, except that you haven't really explored alternatives very much, or really said why (or which type of) written tests work well. For example, when you talk about written tests, do you mean essays, multiple choice questions, short answer questions? Why do the combined written and oral tests demonstrate a student's ability better? Does it really take more time for teachers to mark, because some tests are now marked by computers?
Notice that i'm not disagreeing with your points, just saying that you have failed to explain them. As such, and this is important for all IELTS candidates to remember - it reads like a series of assumptions rather than the presentation of a convincing argument.
I'm looking forward to an improved version.
All the best,
David
This is reasonable, except that you haven't really explored alternatives very much, or really said why (or which type of) written tests work well. For example, when you talk about written tests, do you mean essays, multiple choice questions, short answer questions? Why do the combined written and oral tests demonstrate a student's ability better? Does it really take more time for teachers to mark, because some tests are now marked by computers?
Notice that i'm not disagreeing with your points, just saying that you have failed to explain them. As such, and this is important for all IELTS candidates to remember - it reads like a series of assumptions rather than the presentation of a convincing argument.
I'm looking forward to an improved version.
All the best,
David
Re: Essay evaluation
Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women.
To what extent do you agree?
Women have guts and accomplishment to step up the ladder of corporate heirarchy. Today they are no less than men are and the employers could consider females to be as good as or even better than the male counterparts could.
To begin with, now-a-days there is no such work which is solely meant for only men or only for women. Women have been excelling in each and every field. However, it is commonly seen that men fill the top posts; because of this, one may argue that women ought to have some percentage of reservation in high-level jobs. There are several reasons behind this statement. Firstly, due to reservation women could occupy top level jobs and they could achieve the sense of equality with men. Secondly, such women could act as role models for other women who are doing low level jobs. However, as every aspect has two facets, this present argument also has the other face.
On the other side, one may contradict that the deserved candidates would be at loss as a result of reservation for women. Moreover, unselected candidates feel frustrated and depressed. Next, there exist the ego clashes between the women who got job because of reservation and other candidates. Eventually, in a long run this could effect the functioning of an organization.
To summarize, it is clear from the above points that reservation for women could create problems than being a solution. Hence, I believe, there should be no reservation of top-level jobs for the sake of one gender by negotiating the eligibility of deserved persons.
To what extent do you agree?
Women have guts and accomplishment to step up the ladder of corporate heirarchy. Today they are no less than men are and the employers could consider females to be as good as or even better than the male counterparts could.
To begin with, now-a-days there is no such work which is solely meant for only men or only for women. Women have been excelling in each and every field. However, it is commonly seen that men fill the top posts; because of this, one may argue that women ought to have some percentage of reservation in high-level jobs. There are several reasons behind this statement. Firstly, due to reservation women could occupy top level jobs and they could achieve the sense of equality with men. Secondly, such women could act as role models for other women who are doing low level jobs. However, as every aspect has two facets, this present argument also has the other face.
On the other side, one may contradict that the deserved candidates would be at loss as a result of reservation for women. Moreover, unselected candidates feel frustrated and depressed. Next, there exist the ego clashes between the women who got job because of reservation and other candidates. Eventually, in a long run this could effect the functioning of an organization.
To summarize, it is clear from the above points that reservation for women could create problems than being a solution. Hence, I believe, there should be no reservation of top-level jobs for the sake of one gender by negotiating the eligibility of deserved persons.
Re: Essay evaluation
Hello Mr. David,
I will soon post the improved version of { written assessment } essay.
Thanking you,
Vishwa.
I will soon post the improved version of { written assessment } essay.
Thanking you,
Vishwa.
-
David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am
Re: Essay evaluation
Hello Vishwa,
Introduction - This doesn't exactly relate to the question, i.e. the allocation of a proportion of high positions to women isn't mentioned.
First main paragraph - Good
Second main paragraph - Also good, but I suggest extending the argument a little.
Conclusion - No major problems.
Overall, a good essay. Good grammar and vocab, e.g. clashes, low level job.
Well done!
David
Introduction - This doesn't exactly relate to the question, i.e. the allocation of a proportion of high positions to women isn't mentioned.
First main paragraph - Good
Second main paragraph - Also good, but I suggest extending the argument a little.
Conclusion - No major problems.
Overall, a good essay. Good grammar and vocab, e.g. clashes, low level job.
Well done!
David
Re: Essay evaluation
Hello,
here is a letter.
Writing task 1 (a letter)
You have been living in an apartment for a year. Recently the landlord notified you about rent increase starting from next month. Write a complaint letter to him/her and say
- Introduce yourself and describe your situation.
- Explain why you cannot pay the increased rent.
- What will you do, if the landlord will insist on increasing the rent?
Dear Mr. Cameroon,
My name is Vishwa Vinutna, a tenant of your apartment named “Perry Plaza”. I have shifted to your apartment six months ago. I am writing this letter with regards to increase in rent, which is certainly in action from next month onwards.
It is not fair to raise the rent because we already had the complete clarity on this matter before I rented. Moreover, as per the recent renting bond is concerned, I suppose this rent increase is not applicable for me. It is clearly mentioned in the bond about not to increase rent before a year of residing of any tenant. Apart from this, right now I am not in a position to pay you more, because of my unstable earnings.
However, in case you insist me to pay more rent then eventually I have to vacate your flat and look for another place to live in which could be in my financial range. Finally, I hope you could think of this matter and come to a decision that might be in my favor.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
Vishwa Vinutna.
here is a letter.
Writing task 1 (a letter)
You have been living in an apartment for a year. Recently the landlord notified you about rent increase starting from next month. Write a complaint letter to him/her and say
- Introduce yourself and describe your situation.
- Explain why you cannot pay the increased rent.
- What will you do, if the landlord will insist on increasing the rent?
Dear Mr. Cameroon,
My name is Vishwa Vinutna, a tenant of your apartment named “Perry Plaza”. I have shifted to your apartment six months ago. I am writing this letter with regards to increase in rent, which is certainly in action from next month onwards.
It is not fair to raise the rent because we already had the complete clarity on this matter before I rented. Moreover, as per the recent renting bond is concerned, I suppose this rent increase is not applicable for me. It is clearly mentioned in the bond about not to increase rent before a year of residing of any tenant. Apart from this, right now I am not in a position to pay you more, because of my unstable earnings.
However, in case you insist me to pay more rent then eventually I have to vacate your flat and look for another place to live in which could be in my financial range. Finally, I hope you could think of this matter and come to a decision that might be in my favor.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
Vishwa Vinutna.
How to improve my G.t task 1 letter
Hello,
here is a letter.
Writing task 1 (a letter)
You have been living in an apartment for a year. Recently the landlord notified you about rent increase starting from next month. Write a complaint letter to him/her and say
- Introduce yourself and describe your situation.
- Explain why you cannot pay the increased rent.
- What will you do, if the landlord will insist on increasing the rent?
Dear Mr. Cameroon,
My name is Vishwa Vinutna, a tenant of your apartment named “Perry Plaza”. I have shifted to your apartment six months ago. I am writing this letter with regards to increase in rent, which is certainly in action from next month onwards.
It is not fair to raise the rent because we already had the complete clarity on this matter before I rented. Moreover, as per the recent renting bond is concerned, I suppose this rent increase is not applicable for me. It is clearly mentioned in the bond about not to increase rent before a year of residing of any tenant. Apart from this, right now I am not in a position to pay you more, because of my unstable earnings.
However, in case you insist me to pay more rent then eventually I have to vacate your flat and look for another place to live in which could be in my financial range. Finally, I hope you could think of this matter and come to a decision that might be in my favor.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
Vishwa Vinutna.
here is a letter.
Writing task 1 (a letter)
You have been living in an apartment for a year. Recently the landlord notified you about rent increase starting from next month. Write a complaint letter to him/her and say
- Introduce yourself and describe your situation.
- Explain why you cannot pay the increased rent.
- What will you do, if the landlord will insist on increasing the rent?
Dear Mr. Cameroon,
My name is Vishwa Vinutna, a tenant of your apartment named “Perry Plaza”. I have shifted to your apartment six months ago. I am writing this letter with regards to increase in rent, which is certainly in action from next month onwards.
It is not fair to raise the rent because we already had the complete clarity on this matter before I rented. Moreover, as per the recent renting bond is concerned, I suppose this rent increase is not applicable for me. It is clearly mentioned in the bond about not to increase rent before a year of residing of any tenant. Apart from this, right now I am not in a position to pay you more, because of my unstable earnings.
However, in case you insist me to pay more rent then eventually I have to vacate your flat and look for another place to live in which could be in my financial range. Finally, I hope you could think of this matter and come to a decision that might be in my favor.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
Vishwa Vinutna.