as most people spend a major part of their adult life at wor

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sandeep kour
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Joined: Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:45 am

as most people spend a major part of their adult life at wor

Post by sandeep kour »

within this cut throat world as the competition is so high that people spend their life in work to earn more rather than considering about satisfaction.In this essay i will discuss my views in detail.
As it is imperative for everyone to work in a healthy environment so job satisfaction is very necessary.For example if my mother finds her kitchen untidy, she want be able to do her work ,like if desk of an employee is clean and well managed , he work with full presfection.In addition to this , an employee should be familier with his work and with other workers.Futhermore ,he should be satisfied with the work he is doing.
Despite this people go for the job which give them handsome pay packages forgetting about the satisfaction.Not only this they work day and night in order to get promotions.In addition to this, they work alot and by hook or crook they want to become poineer.However on the contrary ,some do jobs without satisfaction only for the sake of family.If they will not do the job, they will be thrown out by their senoirs.
To wrap up, i believe that everyone want job satisfaction but due to some circumstances or by pressure they have to do the job without their willingness.
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Ryan
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Re: as most people spend a major part of their adult life at

Post by Ryan »

Hi Sandeep,

I'm not exactly sure what happened to the introduction. It looks like the first few sentences have been cut off. Also, please post the question you are responding to next time. It is difficult for me to gauge Task Achievement if I don't know what the task is. :)

I think your writing needs improvement in several areas. Grammar is quite weak in all areas and leads to incoherence. Anytime I see an essay with spaces before commas I instantly know this writer is not an expert language user. What I am trying to say is that little things count. Making a handful of mistakes in punctuation will instantly impress upon your examiner that you are missing certain fundamental writing skills.

Examples should not be hypothetical situations. Starting the example "if my mother" instantly leads me to conclude that your example is neither true nor easily measurable, as I don't know your mother. Avoid personal examples altogether if you can (unless the essay question asks you to share them).

I think your writing is about a band 4. Please work on your grammar and make an effort to shorten your sentences.

Good luck.
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