Attention first time posters!

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
dearjohn
Posts: 29
Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 12:12 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by dearjohn »

I need a feedback on this essay. PLEASE 8-)

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.


Obesity among children is indeed becoming more common. This condition could negatively impact the young population especially with regards to their health. Many factors could be considered as a cause of this serious issue and efforts done at home and by the government should be shed to address this.

To begin with, obesity in children can be due to their exposure to junk foods in almost all places including schools. Foods such as candies, salty crackers and curls which contains inadequate nutritional value are omnipresent and are usually cheaply sold. As a result, children are tempted to consume these products in large amount as these foods are often appealing to children's tongue. To counteract this cause, the government can implement a law restricting vendors to sell junk foods at school or require food manufacturers to produce nutritious food products. For instance, in the Philippines, junk foods are banned at school and only foods with high nutritional value are allowed to be sold. Moreover, all junk foods are fortified with Vitamin A and other essential vitamins and minerals here in the country.

Furthermore, overweight parents produce overweight children. Children ought to imitate what they commonly observe. In the case of parents who has rather unhealthy lifestyle, their children may eventually adopt this way of living. This could happen as family shares same type of foods and daily routines. In connection to this, change should always start at home. Promoting healthy living is best amplified if parents act as an example. There are enjoyable activities that family could participate in, such as group exercise. Eating healthy food is also important. Parents should serve nutritious foods like vegetable but making it palatable and creative to tickle the interest of the young family members. Also, avoiding foods that are high in fat and sugar can be helpful.

In conclusion, obesity in children as we know can be blamed to the environment they are exposed to. Reasonable changes made by the government and more importantly by parents may decrease the incidence of this alarming health fact.
econoth
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2014 2:35 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by econoth »

Hi
I came across this blog few weeks before my IELTs test.Now, when I have received my result, I am here again. I got overall 7.5, but i need atleast 7 in academic writing as well.
L 9.0, R 7.0 S 7.5 W 6.5
This was my first attempt.When I see how many people have been struggling to cross this '0.5' hurdle, I thank to God and ask for courage and consistency to achieve atleast 7 in academic writing. So I hope Riyan's blog will stay there , helping me to remain consistent and motivated.
In general what I feel about IELTs writing is that you really need to be quick to get a nicely drafted 'final' answer.On the other hand while being in university I can spend more hours to draft to trim the text till get final version that can give me good enough level of satisfaction that atleast I did my best.
Thanks & Regards
Thanks & Regards
saqibali
Posts: 452
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:56 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by saqibali »

Agree
Limited free classes and unlimited best IELTS material at below link
https://www.facebook.com/pages/IELTS-No ... 3123916148
imtiazarshad71
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2014 6:04 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by imtiazarshad71 »

Dear,
I am going to appear in my GT IELTS on 2 Oct for the third time. I require 6 band in every module of test.
Can you advise me tips for GT reading and Listenig. I am ok with writing and speaking.

I hope your help will arrive soon.

Imtiaz Arshad
RCLASS
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2014 2:19 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by RCLASS »

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for development of poorer nations. However, the government of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that health, education and trade are basic requirements of all the nations aiming to improve and optimise their country. I would say that providing poor nations with experience to grow is a major role that must be done by richer countries.

Poor nations today seem to face lack of healthcare, effective education system and stable economy. This is definitely bad in some ways because the poor nations should develop the public services such as schools, universities, hospitals, factories and infrastructure. That would make the community civilized, healthy and able to push down the headline of unemployment rate.

If poor nations do not optimise their social services when they are in the beginning stages, it is unlikely that they will be forced to develop these services later in life and the result will be seeing in higher level of illiterate, ill and jobless people. When I was young I had free healthcare, university and part time job to keep me occupied and I am greatful now that I got such support from my government.
On the other hand most of the poor nations suffuring from high population and less of expert officials staff. So, it is important that developed countries hold their responsibilities against underprivileged nations. The financial and educational support provided by high income countries will give the opportunity to improve poor nations.

In conclusion, I could certainly agree that richer governments must keep a good relationship with poor countries by finance and educate people. I don’t think that all poor nations are too dependent on high income countries but too many difinitely are. We cannot expect though that developed countries will ignore todays responsibilities and it is important that children in poor countries grow up with awareness and understanding of all challenges in economy, health, and education.
I believe it is up to poor nation governments to gide and encourage their people to a reasonable mixture between local and international support.
Slavica
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2014 11:15 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by Slavica »

I am new to the forum, and I am not sure I am putting my question on the right place..

I have recently found out about the videos made by Ryan, and I think they are very helpful.
I am sorry I didn't see them earlier.
However, seeing the videos about the essays, I became a little confused and I need help in clarifying some issues regarding the Opinion essays or Argument Essays as they are called in the videos.

I have been taking some preparation classes and my professor recommended using the book Successful writing - proficiency by Virginia Evans.

In the videos, Ryan suggest that we take a side, opinion and stick to that opinion, write two paragraphs with well-constructed topic sentences and supported examples and ideas. However, in the mentioned book for the structure of the opinion essays says that we must also include a paragraph presenting the opposing viewpoint and reason why we think it is an unconvincing viewpoint.
Main Body:
Paragraphs 2&3 (viewpoints&reasons&examples)
Paragraphs 4&5 (opposing viewpoints&reasons&examples)

Can somebody help clarifying this issue? What is the correct structure of these essays? Do we need to put opposing views and try to prove them as unconvincing or do we need to stick to our opinion only?

I really need to understand this, because I have been taking IELTS a couple of times and the score is always between 6.5 and 7 and I need higher score..
sinister_rock
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2014 8:54 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by sinister_rock »

Hello Slavica,

My advice is that you should ONLY follow what Ryan is teaching you in the videos. It is not only good but it makes so much sense if you compare his teaching with the writing rubric (official IELTS band descriptor).

You should know that you have jumped into the raging river! Here, you will receive 100s of books and 100s of advices. Its upto you what you decide. Whatever you decide, you must stick to it and implement that method in the exam to the best of your abilities. Mixing 10 advice would be a suicidal attempt. Doing so, you would be riding against the tide.

Also, part of the reason is that we are not here to do PhD in IELTS. We have got many more interesting and rewarding things to do in life. If you do not stick to one method, you will ask the trouble for yourself by doing trials and errors. It will cost you both time and money.

Coming back to your referred book. It will be ridiculous to write 6 paragraphs in an IELTS writing test according to your thinking (intro, 2 paras agree, 2 paras disagree, and conclusion). That will put your essay at around 800 words. Also, it is not possible to write coherently for that long in 40 minutes under examination conditions. Why you wanna do that? If you stick to this plan you are bound to fail because he (examiner) has very limited time to look at you. IELTS writing examiners usually target correcting about 10 to 12 papers per hour. That means ONLY 5 minutes per paper with 2 writing tasks. You think you gonna hit 7 bands in this situation with 800 words essay?

Another thing is that you are wasting your energy writing about other side of the argument. Why you wanna do that when the question is asking for your opinion only I.e it is literally asking you about either yes or no, agree or disagree and not both.

If you like to write both ways then you can write a balanced essay meaning intro, agree para, disagree para, and conclusion. So in any case, your essay must have only 4 paragraphs not less not more. Write those coherently, showing examiner the logical progression in your writing by using less common vocabulary (not necessarily adcanced vocabulary from oxford dictionary) you are on your way to get 7+.

So, my advice to you is go back to YouTube, stay there for 4 days. Watch all of Ryan's video without skipping a second. And think over it. After, couple of hours you will notice that it make so much sense sticking to the plan that he teaches you.

Final advice - The band scores of IELTS proves nothing. Its just one document you need to go to the other side of the river (immigration, professional registration, higher studies). So, pass the exam once and for all and move on. You will need a thick luck as well with your preparation. Only preparation will not help. So you need both.

Hope it helps.
balibutt
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Feb 22, 2014 7:32 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by balibutt »

hellow guys plz check and feed back!

Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

There are different groups of people in this universe. Nature has blessed everybody with distinct features and characteristics. It is argued that many like to do the same type of work, while other believers in adaptability and take calculated risks. it can strongly be agreed that illustrates well a particular type of work the craft which is achieved through discipline, persistence and determination. These points will be elaborated in following paragraphs.
Firstly, Drill and continuity is a vital source to achieve excellence.
Repeating certain sort of labor results in far better outcome.
Take an acknowledged singer as an example, if he is perfect singing, he would not try to adopt another profession or carrier. He would simply like to keep and maintain it.If he would develop habits of persistence and will follow a certain set of rules he would remain at peak.
Secondly, determined mind leads to achievement. If one is not energetic or full of potential neither he would attain nor achieve desired goal.
History has proved that great skilled workers of certain kinds of art were the winner.
Finally, it can be said that community of certain people loves to work specifically in their field of interest. Some try to do many things at the same time, but the chances of their success are very unlikely.
On the other hand, punctuality and repetition of a certain work produce champions. I strongly recommend and support the group of people who do identical or same type of work in their life.
balibutt
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Feb 22, 2014 7:32 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by balibutt »

Some people like to travel with a companion. Other people prefer to travel alone. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Travelling is always a healthy activity in people.
It is a source of recreation and learning. It is argued that accompanying a buddy on a trip add embellishment to it.A buddy creates great company which triggers entertainment and discussion. These points will be proven in following paragraphs.
Firstly, a journey gives us a feeling of joy and fun. Life is the name of livelihood and enjoyment. We can enjoy the nature around us by visiting different touring points with a friend. For instance, going on vacation with a friend to the hill station was a magnificent experience for me.
We both enjoyed our journey towards that area, which was interesting and amazing.
We played card games and chess, which kept us so engaged that we did not even realized when we reached our desired station.
Secondly, one can easily share his feelings and experience with somebody during his company. During the trip I told my friend about every single thing which allured me. There was an immense exchange of ideas and thoughts between us. Discussing our experiences gives us a splendid contentment. This exercise was not possible without a partner during the trip.
To sum it up, it can be said that going out with someone on a journey is a vital source of happiness and catharsis of our thoughts. It makes distance, seemingly short and refreshing. This is only possible in part with somebody.
I strongly recommend a partner while on a journey.
Looking forward for ur suggestions mates......
balibutt
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Feb 22, 2014 7:32 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by balibutt »

msasshra wrote:Hello every one
can anybody help with grading my essay

the question is
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.
do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?


It is believed that we have thousands of languages all over the world.
And of course each one carries it’s own arts and aspects of science; therefore governments should encourage their peoples to be aware of most of these languages, so they benefit from all these resources of knowledge. Many people think giving children the chance to learn foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school is of great benefit on their mindset. I myself believe that such chance is a double-sided weapon that if used wisely would diminish its risks.
On the one side, a six-months-experimental trial, that has been conducted in 2008 in the United States by Yale University on children aged seven to tweleve years who were divided into two groups, the first learnt a foreign language besides their native one and the second learnt just their mother tongue. After precise analysis of the experiment results, most children in the first group were able to pass the IQ tests with a score much higher than the second one; moreover they could remember and recall more things in the memory tests than the other group. Another evidence that would support such perspective, children who learn a foreign language have the chance to learn about different foreign figures and icons as an effective mean of understanding. To conclude, a strong relationship exists between the development of children’s intellectual abilities and the capacity of their understanding on so many scales as well as the ability to absorb different cultures and learning a foreign language at primary schools.
On the other side, many children who studied one foreign language besides their native one tend to have some obstacles. First, many of them always intrude some foreign words in the middle of their speech, consequently that leads to misunderstanding among the audience. Second, some of those youngsters lean towards foreign cultures and even forget totally about his traditional one, which may lead to loss of nations’ legacy. That proves the drawbacks of learning foreign language during primary school. A suggested solution to elude these problems is to allocate secondary school for foreign language learning, when personalities of youth have been matured enough.
In conclusion, learning different language at primary school has great useful impacts on children and of course its advantages outweigh disadvantages just if been done under control.


you must watch ryan video on choosing an easy route while writting easy.
a mid way esssay is difficult to write.i suggest always choose simple style either on agreement or disagreement
Ghazal
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2014 3:09 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by Ghazal »

Hi every one,
Here's my essay. Can anyone help me improve it? Any guess about its score?

Numerous conditions play role in selecting an appropriate place to grow up a child. Some features such as better facilities are available in big cities, while some others such as clean air and safe environment exist in small towns.

Living in big cities may have several advantages for bringing up a child. Firstly, there exists a wider range of public and private schools with different educational approaches in big cities. Consequently, one can choose among many alternatives. Secondly, entertainment facilities like toy stores, amusement parks, cinemas, theaters, concerts, sport clubs, etc. are within easy reach in big cities. Finally, medical and healthcare services are of higher quality in big cities. By considering the above reasons, it’s easier to bring up a child in bigger cities.

On the other hand, small towns benefit from cleaner air and environment and that would provide children with healthier environment and would decrease the risks of some diseases. Moreover, the rate of committing crimes is much less in comparison to big cities. Therefore, small towns are safer places to grow up a child. Furthermore, children have to create their own fun. As a result children come up with creative ideas to play games in groups such as hide and seek or hopscotch which are some examples of traditional outdoor games and learn sociability skills in interactions with their peers.

In conclusion, big cities and small towns both offer their own advantages and disadvantages for raising children; and one can decide between them based on his preferences and priorities.
mmg21
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2014 11:13 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by mmg21 »

Hi.. i am going to take ielts on 6th dec,,, Ryan, can you please check my essay and score it...i need to know where i stand and what are my short-comings... in which fields i require improvement..
Some people think that rich countries should help the poor ones by giving them money while others believe that some other efficient forms of international aid are also available for the aid.

What is your opinion ? Explain with reasoning.

__________________________________________________________________
In the modern era, most of the developing countries have to look towards the developed countries for aid and to fulfill their economic needs. Rich countries can do this by funding the poor ones or it can be done in some other ways, which will be discussed in detail in coming paragraphs of the essay.
Firstly, developed countries can offer scholarships for the students coming from the poor countries, so that in the future, they can help their countries themselves. Secondly, economically stable and grooming countries can offer jobs for the citizens of countries with a struggling economy. This can be done in several ways, e.g. specific visas categories can be launched for highly skilled professionals for different projects, and for unskilled people - according to the need of manpower. Thirdly, countries with more organized health care systems can send their health professionals; including medical and paramedics. Either these professionals can do much good for the people on their own or they can train their counterparts in the developing countries, which will have long-term effects. Medicines can also be donated or sold at cheaper rates, as a part of international-aid to the countries who are unable to build their own resources. So, there are multiple options available for rich countries intending to help a needy one.
On the other hand, some people think that rich countries should give funds to help the poor country(s).This can be effective if all the amount is utilized in a properly organized manner. But, as the most of developing countries have high corruption rates in almost all of their departments, it is very difficult to expect a corruption free usage of the granted aid.
After analyzing all the examples, it can be concluded that there are many of the options are available as a part of international-aid. In my opinion big powers of the world should consider all the discussed options rather than handing over the cash and credit to the leaders of developing countries.
irmak
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2015 10:39 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by irmak »

Would you please assess my eassy?

The topic is some some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others,however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and motivation for commiting it, should always be taken into account when deciding on punishment.

Nowadays, crime rate is getting higher day by day. The most of crimes are comitted by people who are just released from court because of the indicating good motivation and proper language. However, the some people think that punishments should be fixed.

In each crime,people, circumstances and the intentions are different. Some crimes are comitted with extreme desire and some of them are comitted without any bad intention. Giving the same punishment to the suspects in the second case becomes injustice. For example, according to the this , a terrorist and a woman who just wanted to protect herself from her bad husband's violence, will take the same punishment because of the attempting the murder. In this point, is this verdict right? I do not agree this idea.

On the other hand, criminals are good at acting than any actor on the world. After committing crime, they can persuade the jury and judge to believe that it was a mistake and it occured without any bad intention. Furthermore, they do this with proper language. In this point, jury and judge remain under the speech of criminal and jusge gives less punishment than ordinary ones. When the punishment finished, criminals go back their business and complete their mission which was not done previous time and this causes heavier casulities.


In conclusion, different suspects should not take same punishment. Justice must be applied in right way and the jury should not be let under effect of criminal. Judgement should be proceed by professional personality experts.

Cheers :D
pheyferdiana
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 4:29 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by pheyferdiana »

Hii..

I am Phey, i need your help to give my suggestions on my writing.

question:
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.

Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer:
Basically, the pupils start to learn foreign languages at secondary school. However, in globalization era, it is believed to be better introducing them in earlier stages by some educationalists. Furthermore, when it comes to measure its difference, views differ greatly.

The convincing argument in its favour is that young people generally are able to learn languages easier than teenagers because of the fresh of stimulation in their brains. It means that they have an appropriate time to pick up another language as soon as possible. Moreover, nowadays, several languages have been an international language where those have been used by the majority of people in the whole world such as Mandarin, English and Hindi. Afterwards, children are able to generate the opportunity by communicating in the languages.

On the other hand, there will have some disadvantages learning a foreign language at the first step of their school. First of all, the primary teachers may not have the necessary language skills that are able to help their student as the standard of language. Furthermore, there will be a diversity of skills which the secondary school should conduct for standardizing their abilities. However, these issues can be fixed by the regulation from government which would have been made.

By and large, young people is very advised to study other languages at the early stage in primary school because of the velocity of children’s ability to enlarge the knowledge especially on languages, even though there will be a variety of skills each individual but it is still able to be coped by government.

Thank for giving me some advises.
safoora
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2015 6:55 am

Re: Would you please correct it?

Post by safoora »

Environmental pollution is a serious issue and it is important to take steps on an individuals level to reduce it.But now, since it is becoming an international issue, it is time to take environmental protection to a higher level.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Without a doubt, many personal considerations have been taken into action to reduce the environmental pollution level.However, due to the fact that environmental pollution rises to a global level,improvement of defeating methods is required.i totally support this statement and in the following paragraphs I am going to describe my points of view.

Nowadays, the amount of environmental pollution is too high to be overcomed just by people.For example, sometimes in Tehran the level of air pollution rises to its highest degree.In this situation people cannot clean the air because its beyond their abilities.They just should stay at home to take care of themselves.Thus, more serious preventive acts should be st to avoid environmental pollution.

many people because of their own advantages may not act morally to protect the environment.for instance,in Iran many factories drop their wastes into the rivers or seas. instead of destroying them in scientific ways.by doing this the may cut their costs in order to earn more profits. This happen because not all the people care about their environment .So ,strict rules should be set to force people respecting the environment as well as not allowing them to damage their surroundings.

Finally, sometimes the level of environmental pollution is so high that individuals cannot handle it personally.Moreover, some people may take environment for granted and do not pay enough attention to it.hence, the protection level should be improved to a higher one.This may help the reduction of environmental pollution.
jyoti
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2015 6:41 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by jyoti »

Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t.

Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.

People enjoy watching sports .Sports play important role in the fields of entertainment. Many top athletes are admired throughout their countries and have big fan following. Many people argue that professional athletes make good role models for young people, however, this is refuted by others.These arguments will be analyzed prior to coming to a reasoned conclusion.
Today, it is felt by many people that athletes make role models for young generation and inspired them with their work. Many children like famous professional athletes and want to become like them. This is apparent that many young generation like sport which is good for their health and sports teach many valuable lesson like discipline, teamwork and goal setting. For example, many top professional athletes set an example of great role model for many children in India. Professional athletes demonstrate the importance of hard work in achieving goal and practising regularly to be good at something. This example clearly shows that how professional athletes plays an important part in young generation’s life and make role model for them. Thus, It is easy to see why this argument garnered a lot of support.
On the other hand, it is refuted by others that athletes are not always role models. There are many professional athletes once they reach the level of fame, they are attracted by media attention and large financial benefits and ready to take bribe for sports fixing. For instance,There are many professional athletes who fall for money and cheated on their country. Many children think that fame and money plays an important role in sports because of that children do not learn the valuable attributes of sports . This example shows that how many athletes mislead the young generation. Thus, it is disagreed by many people that professional athletes are always roel models.

After analyzing these two points of views, it is felt that professional athletes plays an important role in young generation’s life. In years to come, professional athelets become a role model for every child if they play well and focus and show positive aspects of playing sports.
jyoti
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2015 6:41 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by jyoti »

Hi every one,
Here's my essay. Can anyone help me improve it? Any guess about its score?

Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t.

Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.

People enjoy watching sports .Sports play important role in the fields of entertainment. Many top athletes are admired throughout their countries and have big fan following. Many people argue that professional athletes make good role models for young people, however, this is refuted by others.These arguments will be analyzed prior to coming to a reasoned conclusion.
Today, it is felt by many people that athletes make role models for young generation and inspired them with their work. Many children like famous professional athletes and want to become like them. This is apparent that many young generation like sport which is good for their health and sports teach many valuable lesson like discipline, teamwork and goal setting. For example, many top professional athletes set an example of great role model for many children in India. Professional athletes demonstrate the importance of hard work in achieving goal and practising regularly to be good at something. This example clearly shows that how professional athletes plays an important part in young generation’s life and make role model for them. Thus, It is easy to see why this argument garnered a lot of support.
On the other hand, it is refuted by others that athletes are not always role models. There are many professional athletes once they reach the level of fame, they are attracted by media attention and large financial benefits and ready to take bribe for sports fixing. For instance,There are many professional athletes who fall for money and cheated on their country. Many children think that fame and money plays an important role in sports because of that children do not learn the valuable attributes of sports . This example shows that how many athletes mislead the young generation. Thus, it is disagreed by many people that professional athletes are always roel models.

After analyzing these two points of views, it is felt that professional athletes plays an important role in young generation’s life. In years to come, professional athelets become a role model for every child if they play well and focus and show positive aspects of playing sports.
ielts_barry
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2015 11:31 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by ielts_barry »

Please critic my ielts task 2 essay. Thanks

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

Child obesity is one alarming issue that every country is facing these days. Clearly, this particular health problem has been long linked to more serious complications. To control such epidemic, people must be educated on ways it occurs and how to overcome it.

To begin, one reason why obesity is becoming more and more common in children is their unsupervised eating habits. Such instance can be observed at school cafeterias where a lot of junk foods are being sold. Children at schools, without their parents to guide them, might be tempted to eat these junk foods uncontrollably. Another cause of child obesity is the lack of knowledge on health and wellness. Some parents who cannot afford to send their children to schools, where health education is being taught, is one reason of such dilemma. Apparently, they have no one who can teach them how to lead a healthy lifestyle.

In order to prevent and overcome obesity in children, people must come up with vital solutions. Schools should reinforce the importance of good health by offering more nutritious food at cafeterias. If not possible to completely eliminate, junk foods should only be sold in controllable amounts. This way, children will be exposed to more healthful choices. Meanwhile, those less privileged children can still be educated about wellness. With the help of the government, there must be programs that focus on such issue. Health- related projects like Health Education will encourage verbalization of concerns and questions to help them acquire more knowledge.

To conclude, obesity among children has become a worldwide phenomenon. Although it is becoming more and more prevalent due to a number of reasons, a joined effort of parents, schools, and the government can be done to make the world a healthier place to live in for children.
meridithbream
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2015 5:59 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by meridithbream »

Digital products play a dispensable role in our daily life in such a technology developed

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fast operation speed. With development of high technology, it is common to see that there

are various kinds of high tech products nowadays,
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them are of good quality and low price.
tudureandavid
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2015 7:44 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by tudureandavid »

Hello everyone , i would like to share with you my academic writing task 2 , and if there is somebody to correct it i would appriciate it a lot.
The question task is : Excessive traffic has made cities unpleasant places to live and work in.For this reason,private cars should be completly banned from city centers
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Nowadays, many people believe that cities have changed their aspect due to extreme traffic. This has caused the creation of an unsupportable atmosphere to live or even work in. For this to be solved, private cars must be interdicted in city centers. Nonetheless I somewhat disagree with this statement.

The main reason I agree with the statement is because of the emitted exhaust gases of cars which represents a problem for an urban environment.Also a high level of pollution can disturb the daily people's behavior.Firstly, a major contribution on deterioring the air it's done by CO2.Not only that damage our city's atmospher and creates a dense fog,as in the case of many chinese cities but also affect the whole ozone layer.Secondly,our healthy it's putted in danger, as a result ,people find it difficult to manage with this lifestyle.

However, the reason why I disagree with the statement is because if men would ban private cars from city centers,then they will face difficulties in transportation.Despite of all the fresh air they may get,citizens will need to let their cars away from the city and then coming back to town would require special transportation.Similarly, the big distances between one place and another which a man would be forced to travel on foot would become too much exhausting.

To sum up ,I somewhat agree that cars are doing real damage to our city environment.Nonetheless,I believe that although the cars are harmful for our lives , it would not be an efficient thing to forbid them in city centers.

250 words . Any opinion is well welcome.
Dr.Asba7i
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Mar 10, 2015 7:40 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by Dr.Asba7i »

First of All , I wana thank Rayan for all he has done for all IELTS seekers in the world . Your incredible work is appreciated . I have an IELTS exam 17 days later and I am practicing the writing thing these days . I tried to write on TASK 2 following Raya's argument essay structure and came up with this ::

Q : Do you agree with the statement " Most experiences in our lives that seemed difficult at the time become valuable lessons for the future "

ANSWER : 295 words

Everybody passes through tough and happy situations in their lives. Difficult life times cannot be avoided as long as we live and interact with others. It’s agreed that the hard experiences teach us how life should be lived and give us the wisdom we need all the time. Demonstrating that difficult situations are practical lessons and they give us the automatic proper ways of behaviour will prove this.

No need to say that life is a matter of skills of handling and coping with changes rather than reading about how to live it. When I was a student, I would never change my way and attitude towards studying unless I failed in my second term in collage and had to do it again. Despite I knew that studying seriously is a must for success, I wouldn’t achieve that without a practical lesson of failure. Therefore, this practical hard time taught me more than any thing else.

We all need to develop more natural appropriate reactions to life challenges. For instance, we have to face the fact that in order to maintain a job we got ,we have to to deal with other requirements than technical qualifications such as a long distance to workplace, a tough manager or selfish team. All of which need a flexible and realistic person that would be definitely the result of his past difficult experiences. Nothing can make us doing the right thing in the exact right time other than the bad painful experiences.

As a sum , we can't be any better in life without the practical lessons and the flexible personalities we gain from our toughest periods of life . Therefore , the best way of getting used to life difficulties is to remember their value and continuously learn from those free lessons .

Any comments and feedback are welcome . I want anyone to suggest what band is my writing as it is my first time to write . Thanks in Advance :D
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OnlineEnglishTeacher
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Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by OnlineEnglishTeacher »

Dr.Asba7i wrote:First of All , I wana thank Rayan for all he has done for all IELTS seekers in the world . Your incredible work is appreciated . I have an IELTS exam 17 days later and I am practicing the writing thing these days . I tried to write on TASK 2 following Raya's argument essay structure and came up with this ::

Q : Do you agree with the statement " Most experiences in our lives that seemed difficult at the time become valuable lessons for the future "

ANSWER : 295 words

Everybody passes through tough and happy situations in their lives. Difficult life times cannot be avoided as long as we live and interact with others. It’s agreed that the hard experiences teach us how life should be lived and give us the wisdom we need all the time. Demonstrating that difficult situations are practical lessons and they give us the automatic proper ways of behaviour will prove this.

No need to say that life is a matter of skills of handling and coping with changes rather than reading about how to live it. When I was a student, I would never change my way and attitude towards studying unless I failed in my second term in collage and had to do it again. Despite I knew that studying seriously is a must for success, I wouldn’t achieve that without a practical lesson of failure. Therefore, this practical hard time taught me more than any thing else.

We all need to develop more natural appropriate reactions to life challenges. For instance, we have to face the fact that in order to maintain a job we got ,we have to to deal with other requirements than technical qualifications such as a long distance to workplace, a tough manager or selfish team. All of which need a flexible and realistic person that would be definitely the result of his past difficult experiences. Nothing can make us doing the right thing in the exact right time other than the bad painful experiences.

As a sum , we can't be any better in life without the practical lessons and the flexible personalities we gain from our toughest periods of life . Therefore , the best way of getting used to life difficulties is to remember their value and continuously learn from those free lessons .

Any comments and feedback are welcome . I want anyone to suggest what band is my writing as it is my first time to write . Thanks in Advance :D
Hello Dr. Asba,

I think that writing should be posted in a new post below probably, not in this post - if you do that, you can PM me and I will correct it - all the best.
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riyad
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2015 3:46 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by riyad »

windy wrote:Dear Ryan,

I'm going to take part in the last IELTS test in this month. Actually, my skills are not sufficient simultaneously but I have to get IELTS result for applying scholarship. Hope that you can give me your feedback about my essay as below. This topic is yours which you give readers the opportunity of 72 hours. I saw it too late but I would like to have another chance to get your opinion. Look forward to hearing from you! Many thanks and regards!


In some cultures, children are expected to follow very strict rules of behavior. In other countries, children are allowed to do almost anything they want. What are the merits of each opinion? What is your position on the matter? Include relevant example in your respond.

Differences between cultures have appeared since the dawn of time. In particular, how children are educated in society is one of the elements in discrepancies. Some cultures give the direction in behavior by conservative regulations or conformities while others train children from self-study and educate them how to take responsibilities for their decisions. Each of educational approach has distinctly pros and cons.

The first method furnishes descendant to enhance the consciousness by conventional experience from older generation. They are taught how to avoid the failure from others’ previous mistakes on the way they pursue. For instance, when I was a child, my parent always taught me focus on my studying without social activities due to wasting of time and its effect on my result. Actually, it’s definitely improve my skills, especially in my communication skill that is absolutely necessary for my life when I take part in that operations. However, children can benefit from these regulation such as they have to polite with the elders, they are learned how to communicate with relatives or friends.

With the different manner of education, a kid shapes his foundation by self-experiencing. That means knowledge and skills are conceived through personal experienced procedure, not from others perspective. In retrospect, I formed my dependent ability by the way my parent educated me. They have never helped me when I fell, I had to stand up by myself, they even hit me if my faults affected on anyone. I recognized that I have to responsible for my decisions. It’s not only equip dependent characteristic, but also responsibility for one person.

In my point of view, I prefer allowing the kids to make decision for what they desire than regulated them from other trail. According to some researches, childhood is the most vital period one person learn and enrich their adepts for future life. Furthermore, real experience will become the biggest valuable wealth for one person on account of it’s conceived by self-studying.
saranya
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Apr 12, 2015 6:47 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by saranya »

Some people say that education system is the only crucial factor for development of a country. To what extent do u agree or disagree?
No one can deny that a good educational system plays a critical role in development of child, in turn society, by large the nation. However, it cannot be considered as the sole factor for the country’s advancement.
We must acknowledge that today’s children are tomorrow’s politicians, scientists, doctors and teachers. Hence we need a well designed curriculum which trains children on every aspect of world. Such holistic education prepares the child for his future role. For example, the process of decision making in times of trouble by political leaders has greater influence on nation’s development and decision can be productive only if they have profound knowledge and information.
Moreover, history shows that most of Indian leaders, freedom fighters were graduates and their eminent knowledge was used to gain the independence. In addition, most of the developed countries’ literacy rates are far higher compared to poor nations. These facts ensures that education has a greater role in developing a country.
Nevertheless, some factor like ‘geographical’, social & cultural’, and physical factors also equally contribute in a country’s advancement. Firstly, geographical factors- even today many nations are not in favour of national integration- which positively affects country economy. Secondly, social and cultural influence-racial and gender discrimination are still prevalent in some of the nations. This reduces the literacy rates, increases population, unemployment, crimes etc., which adversely impact country’s progress. Finally physical factors-such as natural calamities like drought, floods, earthquakes, volcano eruptions etc, also deter nation’s development.
In conclusion just having a rewarding educational system would not guarantee a nations development but the collaboration of all the above stated factors would open up many avenues for country’s advancement.
gautamk
Posts: 25
Joined: Tue May 12, 2015 11:22 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by gautamk »

words should be around 250-300

i see people writing 500 words...

remember, more you write, more there might be chances to occor mistakes...
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