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ankushcoolz
Posts: 5
Joined: Sun Aug 30, 2015 10:05 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by ankushcoolz » Thu Mar 03, 2016 6:50 pm

plz check this writing.......give band scores out of 9...i will be highly obliged if somebody could reply as soon as possible ....

Topic:Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world.

What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.

Answer:: It is indeed a fact that with the advent of falsehood era, crime is increasing drastically linked to imbalance in the society.But,it has become a moot-concern that why this is and there could be some remedies. So, here I am going to scrutinize causes and solutions of this statement in this piece of writing.

As a matter of fact , first and foremost is the unemployment due to rise in population because number of the applicants are more but job vacancies are minimum.Even,over use of technology has replace man-work.Therefore,to fulfil basic needs ,young ones commit crime. For example, statistics reveal that snatching, mugging and so many other crimes are at peak in metro cities which are committed by the either juveniles or youngsters. In addition, both parents in metropolitans are bread-winners because of which it is hard to spend quality time with children as they have hectic schedule and so many daily chores to do.Hence, their offspring get deprived of parents’ guidance and moral values, which lead them to be in the bad society along with getting into malpractices. For instance, brats of rich families are often seen in such problems, quarrles and fights with their peers.

To address this problem, firstly, government must establish small-scale industries in villages, town and large scale in cities so that more and more jobs can be attained by the warm bloods of any country. Secondly, parents must spend some valuable time and understand the needs as well as problems of their children, which may bring them to be on the right path. Such as sitting for some particular time with children by having food, going out, enjoying altogether in weekends.

To conclude, after considering all the above points, I personally believe that mutual efforts of parents, law-makers and individuals need to be put for eradicating this problem from the society.

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

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Weekend
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue May 17, 2016 10:23 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by Weekend » Wed May 25, 2016 12:17 pm

Hiren wrote:could you please help in how to format this essay?

Some say that it is more important for employers to consider academic qualifications rather than personal life experience and values when hiring an employee. Do you agree or disagree? What are positive and negative aspects of the issue?

From first question,agree/disagree,it seems to be argument essay in which both body paragraphs will support my opinion.But second questions asks to discuss positive and negative aspects.so how should I format this essay?

Hi !

If i were to format my answer to this type of question it would be like this.please correct me Ryan if its not a good one.

Thesis: There are positive and negative effects of hiring employees based only on academic qualifications .However,I believe that the disadvantages can not be outweighed by its advantages which makes me believe that academic qualifications should not be the only factor to be considered.

B1-advantages of academic qualification
B2-disads of only academic qualification

Summary:To sum up ,while there are benefits of hiring employees based on their educational attainment,I strongly believe that it should not be the sole requirement in hiring employees.Other factors should also be considered such as personal background ,historical background and moral background in order to increase the company's standards.

Weekend
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue May 17, 2016 10:23 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by Weekend » Wed May 25, 2016 12:48 pm

ankushcoolz wrote:plz check this writing.......give band scores out of 9...i will be highly obliged if somebody could reply as soon as possible ....

Topic:Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world.

What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.

Answer:: It is indeed a fact that with the advent of falsehood era, crime is increasing drastically linked to imbalance in the society.But,it has become a moot-concern that why this is and there could be some remedies. So, here I am going to scrutinize causes and solutions of this statement in this piece of writing.

As a matter of fact , first and foremost is the unemployment due to rise in population because number of the applicants are more but job vacancies are minimum.Even,over use of technology has replace man-work.Therefore,to fulfil basic needs ,young ones commit crime. For example, statistics reveal that snatching, mugging and so many other crimes are at peak in metro cities which are committed by the either juveniles or youngsters. In addition, both parents in metropolitans are bread-winners because of which it is hard to spend quality time with children as they have hectic schedule and so many daily chores to do.Hence, their offspring get deprived of parents’ guidance and moral values, which lead them to be in the bad society along with getting into malpractices. For instance, brats of rich families are often seen in such problems, quarrles and fights with their peers.

To address this problem, firstly, government must establish small-scale industries in villages, town and large scale in cities so that more and more jobs can be attained by the warm bloods of any country. Secondly, parents must spend some valuable time and understand the needs as well as problems of their children, which may bring them to be on the right path. Such as sitting for some particular time with children by having food, going out, enjoying altogether in weekends.

To conclude, after considering all the above points, I personally believe that mutual efforts of parents, law-makers and individuals need to be put for eradicating this problem from the society.
Hi !

Im not really good in writing but I can read some inaccuracies.
There are strong and weak points here in this essay.I would like to focus on the first body par.In the first body par,the strongest point i think is the second where you talked about parental guidance as it is developed quite enough thou example is not needed.The first point there thou has underlying cause why theres no employment available for the youthm e.g lack of education .I think thats a better point to consider.Lastly,please use more academic words in all parts of the essay.Thankyou

Overall its an essay on its way to success!

Please also check my essays ,Sometimes we are blinded by our own mistakes.Thankyou!

Sherzod
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2016 9:07 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by Sherzod » Wed Jun 15, 2016 8:11 am

Hi

ali15
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Jul 20, 2015 8:36 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by ali15 » Tue Jul 19, 2016 12:09 pm

Hello people pls help me with this essay and thnx you :)


Universities should allocate the same amount of money to their sport activities as they allocate to their libraries. Do you agree or disagree?

Today money is playing an important part in people live, this can be seen on the way of how these people or organization spend this money carefully, it is agree that universities must indicate an equal amount of money for physical activities as for libraries, these can be shown by looking at how students interest in physical practice and how sport machines and equipment can make money for universities.

First, students are often interest in sport activities than going to library. For example, in my university, it is estimated that the numbers of students who used the gym room to practice daily is 250 students, while those who use the library to study is 50 students only, this example clearly show that student are more into physical activities instead of going to library, therefore university should allocate the same amount of money for sport activity to favor that huge number.

Second, university can gain satisfactory amount of money by renting the machines and equipment for non university members, For example, Asia Pacific University always rents their sports equipment for other universities student and individuals with very high price, these example shows that universities can make money with sport equipment and this will have an extremely benefit to the university as whole, thus, all university has to spend equally for spot activity and library and these money will defiantly retains back double.

To sum up, university student prefer to do physical practice than studying at library and also college can gain rewarding money by renting their sport properties, so university must allocate the equal amount of money for both physical activities and library, it is hope universities spends their money wisely and favor both side.

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