Attention first time posters!

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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Ryan
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Attention first time posters!

Post by Ryan » Fri Jun 28, 2013 2:23 pm

Before posting your work to this this section of the site, please do these things:

1. Familiarise yourself with how IELTS Writing is assessed. Attached to this post are copies of the public writing band descriptor charts distributed at (http://www.ielts.org/pdf/UOBDs_WritingT1.pdf) and (http://www.ielts.org/pdf/UOBDs_WritingT2.pdf).

2. Be sure to follow some sort of IELTS Task 1 or 2 structure. If you are unfamiliar with how to structure your response, please consult my Task 1 and 2 structure guide videos (http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAE217EDDF7F19843). For example responses, consult my blog (http://www.ieltsielts.com), Simon's blog (http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-e ... ng-task-2/), and Chris's blog (http://ielts-yasi.englishlab.net/IELTS_WRITING.htm).
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My blog: http://www.ieltsielts.com
My products: http://www.englishryan.com

(I have never been an IELTS examiner. The advice I share is based upon the experiences and successes I've had coaching candidates as an IELTS Writing instructor.)

Hiren
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Oct 13, 2013 3:52 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by Hiren » Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:35 pm

could you please help in how to format this essay?

Some say that it is more important for employers to consider academic qualifications rather than personal life experience and values when hiring an employee. Do you agree or disagree? What are positive and negative aspects of the issue?

From first question,agree/disagree,it seems to be argument essay in which both body paragraphs will support my opinion.But second questions asks to discuss positive and negative aspects.so how should I format this essay?

yash567blr
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 2:52 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by yash567blr » Sun Oct 20, 2013 8:07 pm

I am not an expert and I am also learning and trying to reach band 7 :)
Others please correct, if this essay is fine for the question.

>>>>>>
Though its very important to consider a person's educational qualification for hiring, candidate's personal life and values should also be taken into consideration. A bad employee might affect the working culture at office in negative way. It might result in demoralising the whole team or even loss of skilled labour, which in turn affects the productivity of the company. Hence, I do not agree with the viewpoint that only educational qualifications of candidate should be considered by employers for recruitment.

A skilfull and talented employee, who fits to the role perfectly might be very valuable for the company and may helps in bringing new innovations and techniques to increase productivity. However, when the person is put into a team project, if the person's conduct is not good. It might spoil the morale of the whole team or make other employees unhappy. It might even demotivate other employees. This will impact the profit revenue of the employer.

An employee at higher level, how much ever talented that person be, if his conducts and values are not good it results in loss of skilled labour. For example, in the Information Technology sector where I work, most of the time employees leave the company because of bad Project Manager. This can be avoided if a project Manager can keep his team happy and motivated with his conduct and values.

Hence, although rejecting a highly qualified candidate based on his personal life and values is a loss to the company. The company should stick to the values and think about the overall betterment of the employees as a team and look for the candidate who are equally good in both.

>>>>

Ali
Posts: 5
Joined: Sun Sep 22, 2013 10:40 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by Ali » Wed Nov 06, 2013 12:02 pm

Hi Yash,

As you said you are not an expert and me neither in writing. But in your second supporting para you kind of repeated your first one. Yes, I agree to Ryan said, it is good to totally agree or disagree. In this case I would say you could have written about employers checking employee's FB or Twitter accounts to check their behaviour patterns before hiring them.

Thnx

Ali

sabarslan
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Nov 16, 2013 7:01 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by sabarslan » Sat Nov 16, 2013 7:05 pm

Hi guys,

I'm very new to this forum. i plan on attempting the IELTS academic test in December. It would be really helpful if you can suggest improvements on this essay of mine.

Question: Home schooling belongs to the past and is unacceptable in the modern society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. Use your knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Home schooling is a historical phenomenon. Long before the schools were present, home schooling was the sole starting point of a child’s education. As the times progressed, norms started to change. In today’s world, home schooling has become less prevalent.

There are a number of benefits of home schooling. Parents are a child’s first point of contact to the outer world. They know a child’s nature inside out. Parents can pace the learning process of a child according to the child’s individual needs. A child can get personalized, and unshared attention, and without and peer pressure, thus his learning becomes productive.

However, the benefits of formal schools outnumber the benefits of home schooling. One of the reasons is that lifestyle, in general, has become fast paced which has effected parents as well. They do not find ample time at hands to teach their children as a full time duty. Secondly, with the changing society, education is becoming more complex with a mix of multiple disciplines. At schools, teachers are experts in their own subject areas. On the other hand, home schooling is not a wholesome process since the only teacher a child has is his parents, who may, or may not be an expert in multiple subjects.

In modern day, students have to be in a competitive environment to keep up with the pace of the society. They have to get ready for a much tougher challenge in the outside world. Schools help students become a complete package with a mix of multiple skills. Schools tend to hone the desired personality traits of a student and make them a better human being.

Thanks

sweta
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Nov 14, 2013 10:35 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by sweta » Sun Nov 17, 2013 7:59 am

Hi sabarslan,
Your writing is good but opinion is not clear . You have explain both sides of essay it make confusion to the examiner whether your are agree or disagree. I am not perfect i think it should be better to explain one side .Keep it up
Best Regards
sweta

masimshehzad
Posts: 36
Joined: Sun Nov 24, 2013 7:57 am

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by masimshehzad » Sun Nov 24, 2013 8:34 am

yash567blr wrote:I am not an expert and I am also learning and trying to reach band 7 :)
Others please correct, if this essay is fine for the question.

>>>>>>
Though its very important to consider a person's educational qualification for hiring, candidate's personal life and values should also be taken into consideration. A bad employee might affect the working culture at office in negative way. It might result in demoralising the whole team or even loss of skilled labour, which in turn affects the productivity of the company. Hence, I do not agree with the viewpoint that only educational qualifications of candidate should be considered by employers for recruitment.

A skilfull and talented employee, who fits to the role perfectly might be very valuable for the company and may helps in bringing new innovations and techniques to increase productivity. However, when the person is put into a team project, if the person's conduct is not good. It might spoil the morale of the whole team or make other employees unhappy. It might even demotivate other employees. This will impact the profit revenue of the employer.

An employee at higher level, how much ever talented that person be, if his conducts and values are not good it results in loss of skilled labour. For example, in the Information Technology sector where I work, most of the time employees leave the company because of bad Project Manager. This can be avoided if a project Manager can keep his team happy and motivated with his conduct and values.

Hence, although rejecting a highly qualified candidate based on his personal life and values is a loss to the company. The company should stick to the values and think about the overall betterment of the employees as a team and look for the candidate who are equally good in both.

>>>>

I would like to suggest addition of following

Complex sentences
Use of linking words [Likely, additionaly]
USe of phrases, data and varied vocabulary

Atiqur786rasel
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:25 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by Atiqur786rasel » Tue Nov 26, 2013 8:41 pm

Hi, I am Atiqur Rahman Rasel..Could someone , experienced , help me by correcting & scoring my following IELTS academic task 2 ?

WRITING TASK 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material
possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem
important.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

The world is being changed. The one who are changing the world are humans. They are changing the world in many different ways. But they are also changing themselves in noticeable ways.Humans are having change in their morals,personalities, even in natures . Today , people view and distinguish others by their social status and possessions having forgotten the true values of human such as, honour , kindness and trust . In this essay , I will write in agreement with the opinion stated above .

First of all, humans are natural being . They are rational , creative & social . They have been created to be adaptive . That is why ,humans are forgetting old views & living with the new ones . Strangely enough , nowadays when you go to a village , you can see that if there is any person with most of the assets , that person is respected all over the village .A quintessence from my own village can be given here . Our so-called honorable chairman is a man with no honour let alone kindness . But he owns most of the lands of our villages . So , the villagers have to respect him . Though the villagers respect him on the outside , they resent him in the inside .

Furthermore , many people , though rich , intend to serve richer people than them as a base for their security .It is very natural for those people because you cannot live alone in the midst of a den being a frightened rabbit . To survive , you have to live along with other ferocious animals being nice . Another point can be made from today’s politics in Bangladesh .The people in authority are actually given authority because of tremendous amount of money or assets .They seem to have no eligibility at all. They don’t have any kindness at all . They are not trustworthy too.

In addition , young people with great talent , nowadays don’t get good jobs . Even if they possess unique qualities like kindness & truthfulness , they get rejected . It is because they don’t have any money or authority . A recent quintessence is perfect here . One of my cousins went to have a interview for a prestigious job recently . At one point , after being selected in the interview , the company asked for about 1 million taka in exchange of the job . So my cousin came back home being annoyed with himself . Because he had not enough money.

In conclusion , it is evident that , almost in every fields of life, old-fashioned values are not respected at all . People are revered just because of status and possessions such as money , assets etc. This will probably remain the same in future . Because , it is no longer needed for people to keep “Old” in their dictionary .

windy
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Dec 03, 2013 5:45 pm

Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by windy » Tue Dec 03, 2013 5:53 pm

Dear Ryan,

I'm going to take part in the last IELTS test in this month. Actually, my skills are not sufficient simultaneously but I have to get IELTS result for applying scholarship. Hope that you can give me your feedback about my essay as below. This topic is yours which you give readers the opportunity of 72 hours. I saw it too late but I would like to have another chance to get your opinion. Look forward to hearing from you! Many thanks and regards!


In some cultures, children are expected to follow very strict rules of behavior. In other countries, children are allowed to do almost anything they want. What are the merits of each opinion? What is your position on the matter? Include relevant example in your respond.

Differences between cultures have appeared since the dawn of time. In particular, how children are educated in society is one of the elements in discrepancies. Some cultures give the direction in behavior by conservative regulations or conformities while others train children from self-study and educate them how to take responsibilities for their decisions. Each of educational approach has distinctly pros and cons.

The first method furnishes descendant to enhance the consciousness by conventional experience from older generation. They are taught how to avoid the failure from others’ previous mistakes on the way they pursue. For instance, when I was a child, my parent always taught me focus on my studying without social activities due to wasting of time and its effect on my result. Actually, it’s definitely improve my skills, especially in my communication skill that is absolutely necessary for my life when I take part in that operations. However, children can benefit from these regulation such as they have to polite with the elders, they are learned how to communicate with relatives or friends.

With the different manner of education, a kid shapes his foundation by self-experiencing. That means knowledge and skills are conceived through personal experienced procedure, not from others perspective. In retrospect, I formed my dependent ability by the way my parent educated me. They have never helped me when I fell, I had to stand up by myself, they even hit me if my faults affected on anyone. I recognized that I have to responsible for my decisions. It’s not only equip dependent characteristic, but also responsibility for one person.

In my point of view, I prefer allowing the kids to make decision for what they desire than regulated them from other trail. According to some researches, childhood is the most vital period one person learn and enrich their adepts for future life. Furthermore, real experience will become the biggest valuable wealth for one person on account of it’s conceived by self-studying.

hashirfaiz
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Dec 06, 2013 9:47 pm

Re: Enrich the writing forum by contributing to it

Post by hashirfaiz » Fri Dec 06, 2013 10:01 pm

Young children are beginners! They have a lot of things to learn about culture. Adapt to a culture is not an easy and it takes time. However, parents pay an important role to teach their children about their culture. Moreover, the behavior of parents matters in front of children. Culture is to follow our traditions, customs, respect our elders. So parents must be patient and must expect children to make mistakes.
Moreover, we also must remember that children do not have minicomputers in their heads. They can also forget rules. We can help them to follow their rules. For example, in Pakistan and India children strictly follow their culture. Parents bring up their children with strict rules of behavior. They live with their parents forever. Parents teach them to respect their elders because this is our culture.
On the other hand, In Europe countries children are allowed to do anything they want. They do not strictly follow the rules because they not live their parents. They left their houses and like to live alone. They need privacy and freedom in their life. They do not care of their parents even, they not follow their culture they do whatever they wants.
In conclusion, in my opinion we should have some rules and regulations in life. We should maintain our culture if we teach our children as well. Children should also follow their culture .

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