Essay on Tourism topic.

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
Huda
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Aug 24, 2013 11:16 am

Essay on Tourism topic.

Post by Huda »

Today, tourism is thought to be a high-profitable industry booming around the world. It is a key component and serves as an engine of economic growth for a nation. While It has some negative effects on the local environment and culture. This will be proven by looking at how it affects the surroundings and culture and also how it can be restrained?
On the one hand, there are enormous benefits of tourism , which is an effective means of boosting the economy of a country.. Many young adults are employed by tourists componies to serve the visitors like tour operators, tour guides. Industries are also booming because of growing tourism.
On the other hand, the drawbacks of growing tourism can be seen in environmetal and cultural damage. In terms of environmental damage, with the innovation of new means of transportation, travel has become easier than ever before. Many populor destinations and land marks are crowded with tourists, who spoil the gorgeousness of the nature by leaving vast amount of garbage. In addition, a lot of unattractive artificial amenities have been inroduced with devastating efeect on the environment. For example, in salam park, New Deklhi, India, there has been reported huge amount of litter in all corners of the park. This is just because of influx of visitors across the world.
There are some possible ways to eliminate the detrimental effects of tourism industry. Governments should make the stricter rules for those who throw the garbage crelessly at public places. People should be fined for not complying regulation and policis introduced by the state. It is predicted that authorities should continue to take actions against those vilating the rules in the foreseeable future.
User avatar
Ryan
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 1103
Joined: Mon Jun 24, 2013 8:02 am
Location: Dubai, UAE

Re: Essay on Tourism topic.

Post by Ryan »

Hi Huda,

I think your essay is starting to show signs of good structure. However, please watch your grammar. "While It has some negative effects on the local environment and culture." is not a full sentence. Because this incomplete fragment acts as your thesis, your entire essay suffers. The reader is not entirely sure what it is you are arguing. Also, I am confused why your outline sentence is written as a question. Please avoid this in future.

Your supporting paragraphs do not seem to employ any tangible examples, and this weakens the entire argument of the essay. I also fail to see any link back to your thesis. Please remember that supporting paragraphs should be clearly linked to the central argument of the essay.

Don't forget that the essay question is asking for solutions. It is not asking you to argue what the causes are. You do not appear to look at potential solutions until the conclusion paragraph.

I would guess this response would be weighted about a band 4. Please have a look at some of other essays submitted that received higher bands for further tips on improving.

Good luck.
Post Reply