Please assess my self-assessed Task 2 Essay

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sos1947
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Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2015 5:22 pm

Please assess my self-assessed Task 2 Essay

Post by sos1947 »

Hi All

I tried to self-assess my essay to improve on my grammar. Please correct it if I got few things wrong.

Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do.

-How far do you agree?
-What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid?

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Undoubtedly, in today's world not every job is valued as important. A society rewards celebrities and company's executives with high ("higher") salaries (",") while labor intensive jobs like nursing or teaching are under paid.
Clearly, it can be argued that today nurses, doctors, janitors and teachers are undervalued compared to celebrities
and executives. Apparently, a society should use measures like human development index, number of hours of work and
number of people served (",") to compensate for the job. Following, this essay will elaborate on these points.

Without any doubt, teachers, nurses and doctors lay a foundation for a nation by keeping its citizen("s") educated, strong and healthy. Illustrating this, from the fact that many poor countries are poor not only because of low natural resources but also because of ("the") quality of their people. Needless to say, teachers create able members of the society while nurses and doctors nurture human life. Therefore, it is imperative for a society to value such workers that help to build a strong nation.

Undoubtedly, celebrities and company owners only work for their own benefits. Apparently, only a few of them contribute back to a society. On one hand, teachers, nurses and doctors devote long hours in improving the quality of human life (",") while actors and company owners enjoy their comfortable luxuries by working for only few hours. Needless to say, a society should compensate its workers by the number of hours spent on the ("a") job, ("and") number of lives touched and improved. Consequently, this would create equality among people and create a fair system.

Summing up, it is true that people are not paid for their hard work instead for the popularity of the ("a") job. Clearly, jobs like nursing and teaching are equally important for a nation. Therefore, without any doubt a society should pay people for the values they provide to a nation.
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