Essay Committing Crime (Indonesia perspective)

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danyocean
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Essay Committing Crime (Indonesia perspective)

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Greeting from Indonesia. Please help me up by giving feedback of these essay. I am wondering if anyone could show how to write a good sentence for IELTS. I appreciate and thanks to you.

People continue to commit crimes even after being punished for it. Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped?

It is true that people often act against law, whilst they deserve to be punished for it. Whereas there are various reasons to explain why this happens, and I would argue that a number of actions would be necessary to take so that the problems can be resolved.

People repeat committing crimes because of various reasons. Firstly, former prisoners often face difficulties to fit back in society or even their normal life. Individuals who have been released from prison have to reestablish ties with their family, friends, and their local community. Sadly, they often have poor ability to readapt to life with society due to experience of sense of guilty and gaining a low distrust from their neighbors. Secondly, economic reasons in particular often trigger disobedient act. Sometimes individuals who get exposed to financial problems would try again such criminal activities that is clearly forbidden and punishable by law. Finally, drug addiction may affect a drug addicts to repeatedly conduct crimes. One reason of this cause is due to the nature of drug addiction that makes individual relentlessly feed their habit without regard of any possible consequences. For example, It seems crimes related to drug and alcohol often happen over and over again in teenagers nowadays.

There are several action plans in order to reduce a recidivism rates. One of good solution is developing a rehabilitation programs to gain more benefit by adding some basic business skill and positive values such as leadership capacity and spiritual development. In Indonesia, for example, government announces plans to improve criminal’s rehabilitation by outsourcing the job to private companies which would be paid on the basis result. Also, for drug and alcohol related crimes, offenders while in incarceration can be facilitated with a drug addiction therapy and drug abuse resistance education. These approaches are taught by police officers, doctors, physician with a broaden subjects such as drug uses and misuse, managing stress, and building self-esteem. As a result, former offender can say “no” to drugs and their friends who may want them to use drugs.
In conclusion, problem of recidivism is possibly caused by multi factors which could be overcome with some approaches.
(359 words)
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