hi guys

[supriya]

Hi guys,

I'm very new to this forum. i am planning to attempt the IELTS academic test in January. It would be really helpful if you can suggest improvements on this essay of mine.
Question:some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.
Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage.

The inception of learning foreign language during the period of kindergarden is advantage because the young children pickup language much more easily than teenagers.Their brains are still programmed to acquire their mother tongue,which facilitates to learn other foreign languages,which is unlike with adolscents.
Its felt by many that,learning foreign language at primary school will be beneficial for their future studies,they adopt easily there culture,they can have better understandings.These argument will be analysed prior to coming to a reasoned conclusion that,at primary school,they have a regular routine,flexible time table,frequent to the things which they are learning with in short session,this makes them progress and enthusiastic.
For example,Asian countries like India,Pakistan and china,they started teaching foreign language like English,at primary school,which shows a great improvement .This example shows clearly that in near future those asian countries sure they will be developing more and more.
There are however,some disadvantages.Primary school teachers are not well trained in that particular foreign language.If specialist have to be brought in to deliver these sessions,the flexibility referred to above is diminised.If primary language teaching is not standardised,secondary schools could be faced with a great variety of level in different languages within their intake,resulting in a classroom experience which undoes the earlier gains,There is no advantage if enthusiastic primary pupils become demotivated as soon as they change school.However,these issues can be addressed strategically within the policy adopted.
After analysing these two point of view,it is believed that the theory of teaching foreign language at primary school is rewarded,so the young childrens innate abilities should be harnessed to make these benefit more achievable.

[delvydavis]

Hi
Kindergarten - not "garden"
btw, kindergarten doesn't come under primary school. isn't it?

The inception of learning foreign language during the period of kindergarden (kindergarten) is advantage (coma) because the young children pickup language much more easily than teenagers (adults).Their brains are still programmed to acquire their mother tongue,which facilitates them to learn other foreign languages,which is unlike with adolescents. unnecessary. split it to separate sentences. one paragraph, one complex sentence is more than enough to get high score

Its It is felt by many that,(no comma need) learning foreign language at primary school will be beneficial for their future studies,they adopt easily there culture,they can have better understandings (split these commas to two separate sentences - They adopt....).These argument will be analysed prior to coming to a reasoned conclusion that,at primary school,they have a regular routine,flexible time table,frequent to the things which they are learning with in short session,this makes them progress and enthusiastic.For example,Asian countries like India,Pakistan and china,they started teaching foreign language like English,at primary school,which shows a great improvement .This example shows clearly that in near future those asian countries sure they will be developing more and more. (structure not good at all. you need to restructure your paragraph. watch ryan's video in youtube - " i don't know how to write essay")

There are however,some disadvantages.Primary school teachers are not well trained in that particular foreign language.If specialist have to be brought in to deliver these sessions,the flexibility referred to above is diminised.If primary language teaching is not standardised,secondary schools could be faced with a great variety of level in different languages within their intake,resulting in a classroom experience which undoes the earlier gains,There is no advantage if enthusiastic primary pupils become demotivated as soon as they change school.However,these issues can be addressed strategically within the policy adopted.
After analysing these two point of view,it is believed that the theory of teaching foreign language at primary school is rewarded,so the young childrens innate abilities should be harnessed to make these benefit more achievable.

in total, structural problem, spelling mistakes, punctuation problems, run-on sentences, sentence structure issues.
watch ryan's video which i mentioned above.
Actually, the structure is very simple to follow. only 15 sentences are required to write.
Delvy

[supriya]

Thanx alot for correcting my mistakes,i will go through with ryans link,which you suggested me,i will try to improve myself...Thanx again