GT essay task 1

[delvydavis]

Hi
I am posting task 1 question and answer. Please correct it.

You have decided to leave your current employment. Write a letter to your employer. Include the following in your letter:

- Explain why you are writing
- Explain why you have decided to leave the company
- Tell your employer what you plan to do after leaving your present employment

Dear Sir or madam

With regard to the termination of my contract by the end of June 2012, I have decided to resign my position from this company by the end of May 2012. Indeed, it was a great opportunity to work with you, taking over from my previous manager Mr. Abraham Misoi.

However, the ongoing global recession made me think more and take such decision. In addition, I understand that there are many better leaders than me in my team who are capable of doing everything in the Information Technology field with high level certifications from different global leaders or vendors in the field.

I am planning to move to another country especially to the United States where the Information Technology field is so strong and all my capacities are tested. Besides, I have a plan to start an IT business as a part-time over there with the help of some of my IT related friends.

Finally, I would like to thank you for the opportunity you gave me. I am grateful to you for your guidance and training opportunities you provided me during my tenure of employment

Thanking you

Yours Faithfully


Word count: 193 word (using microsoft word count)


Thank you

[Ryan]

Hi DelvyDavis,

Please remember that little things are important and often contribute greatly to your examiner's overall impression of you as a writer. In your writing, I see things like:

-awkward capitalization ("Madam" is not capitalized; "information technology" should not be capitalized; "faithfully" should not be capitalized)
-several run on sentences
-double farewells ("Thanking you" and then "Yours faithfully"; and please don't forget to use a comma after your farewell)

These sorts of little mistakes instantly make the reader feel like you've never written a letter in your life. This is obviously not the impression we want to be giving your examiner. I would therefore advise you to first clean up these little issues to ensure that what you create on your exam actually reflects what is demanded by the task.

Secondly, grammar needs some work. As I pointed out, run on sentences are awkward to read and can significantly reduce the level of coherence in your writing. My advice here is to try to simplify your sentences as much as possible. Short sentences have a much greater chance of being grammatically accurate.

I would gauge this writing about a band 5.5.

Good luck.

[delvydavis]

Hi Ryan,
Thank you so much for your comments. I do understand that all those silly mistakes must be avoided.
About run on sentences & long sentences, I thought, if I create longer sentences which will give more complexity to it. I mean I was trying to make complex sentences to gain more weight. Well, I will change that to avoid the error I am making.

Thanks again

Delvy