Writing task 1: 2 tables. Please help me to correct them

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trantrang
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Jul 04, 2017 2:13 am

Writing task 1: 2 tables. Please help me to correct them

Post by trantrang »

The given two tables indicate the productions of Fairtrade in term of coffee, bananas were sold in five Europe countries changed in 1999 and 2004.

Overall, it is clear that the UK had the biggest consumption of coffee and bananas of Fairtrade brand were a most popular good in Switzerland over years. Furthermore, we can see that Fairtrade sold the significantly big number of bananas, which was profoundly overcome the number of coffee sold in five Europe countries.

In the first table, we can see that UK and Denmark were known as the main nations where had the biggest coffee consumption in the year of 1999 with 1,5 millions of euros and 1,8 millions of euros respectively. But in 2004, Switzerland replaced Denmark to become a second big nation about coffee consumption. Finally, coffee of Fairtrade brand was sold fewest in Sweden in both of years 1999 and 2004.

Moving on to the second table, which shows the sale of bananas of Fairtrade brand was sold in these Europe countries, this good can be seen as the most popular thing consumed in Europe countries in the years of 1999 and 2004. Firstly, bananas were mainly sold in Switzerland with 15 millions of euros in 1999 and 47 millions of euros in 2004. In addition, the amount of banana sold in the UK witnessed a significant increase from 1 millions of euros to 5.5 millions of euros over 5 –year period, while Sweden slightly decreases by 0,8 millions of euros.
Lilyhuynh1201
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2017 12:23 am

Re: Writing task 1: 2 tables. Please help me to correct them

Post by Lilyhuynh1201 »

Hi Trang,
I am not really good at writing but I think I can help you correct some :")

1. To make it clearer, you can insert the diagram in your essay, just click on the icon "image" and insert the link if you found it online.

2. Here are some mistakes I can found:

The given two tables indicate the productions => production is uncountable =>of Fairtrade in term of coffee, bananas were sold in five Europe => Europe is a noun so you should change it to European countries changed in 1999 and 2004.

Overall, it is clear that the UK had the biggest consumption of coffee and bananas of Fairtrade brand were a most => the most (the + superlative adj) popular good in Switzerland over years. Furthermore, we can see that Fairtrade sold the significantly big number => I think "a significant number" is more correct and "big" is an informal word to be used in writing (my teacher said that) of bananas, which was profoundly overcome the number of coffee sold in five Europe countries.

In the first table, we can see that UK and Denmark were known as the main nations where => which had the biggest => informal coffee consumption in the year of 1999 with 1,5 millions of euros and 1,8 millions of euros => I think the unit should be million euros respectively. But in 2004, Switzerland replaced Denmark to become a second big nation about coffee consumption => the second largest coffee consuming nation (not really sure). Finally, coffee of Fairtrade brand was sold fewest in Sweden in both of years 1999 and 2004.

Moving on to the second table, which shows the sale of bananas of Fairtrade brand was sold => "which was sold" or "sold" in these Europe => European countries, this good can be seen as the most popular thing => try to avoid using the word "thing" because it is not clear consumed in Europe => European countries in the years of 1999 and 2004. Firstly, bananas were mainly sold in Switzerland with 15 millions of euros in 1999 and 47 millions of euros => million euros in 2004. In addition, the amount of banana => the amount of + uncountable noun so I think this should be the number of bananas sold in the UK witnessed a significant increase from 1 millions of euros => 1 million euros (even 3 million without "s" at the end of million); we use "millions" with general meaning, for example: "millions of apartments or millions of people" to 5.5 millions of euros => 5.5 million euros over 5 –year period => I think the 5-year period, while Sweden slightly decreases => decreased by 0,8 millions of euros => million euros.

Hope you can find my correction is useful.

Good luck!
trantrang
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Jul 04, 2017 2:13 am

Re: Writing task 1: 2 tables. Please help me to correct them

Post by trantrang »

Wow, thank you so much for your helping. It is so useful to me.
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