please evaluate my essay

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jaggi7921
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Joined: Tue Mar 10, 2015 4:35 pm

please evaluate my essay

Post by jaggi7921 »

12. it is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

People have different views regarding the accommodation of college students. Some of them believe that hostel is better than living in house during higher studies. I completely agree that residing on campus is better for students
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There are various reasons why I think that on campus is efficient choice for university students than off campus. Firstly, students who live in the universities dormitories during their studies are highly convenient as compared to others who live along with their family. In other words, those who live in the hostel can save their time that normally students waste during commuting from college to house and house to college. Secondly, individuals who choose the hostel life can also get exposure of different cultures, religion and races. For example, in the college campus there are many people resides and some of them come from different cities and have unique culture than others. So, in this case hostel students have chance to gain knowledge about various culture by communicating with them that individuals who live with family can’t.

Thirdly, staying on-campus also offers students is the opportunity to become independent. As individuals who live far away from their parents must face a greater number of problems by their own, ranging from managing financial budgets, daily chores and finding part time job to support themselves during this time. This would help them to develop a strong sense of self-reliance, which plays an important role in their later life. By contrast, if students live with family, then they always dependent on their parents and some could become over-reliant. Finally, campus students also get higher academics outcomes as they can share material and learning strategies with others that assist them to learn properly than those who live in their house.

In conclusion, its seem to me that living in the hostel is far better option than living close to family after analyzing this in above paragraphs.
David.IELTS.Examiner
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Re: please evaluate my essay

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

This is a very good essay. The variety of grammatical structures and precise use of vocabulary is quite impressive. There are mistakes, but relatively few and they do not really interfere with meaning.

Your points are clear, valid, and well-developed. Organisation is good, but I think that you should make a separate paragraph for each of your three points - it's strange starting the second main paragraph with 'thirdly'.

Well done!
David
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Flick
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Re: please evaluate my essay

Post by Flick »

jaggi7921 wrote: Sat Jun 24, 2017 1:38 am 12. it is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

People have different views regarding the accommodation of college students. Some believe that staying in a hostel is better than living in a house during higher education. I completely agree that residing on campus is better for students.

There are various reasons why I think that living on campus is a more efficient choice for university students than off campus. Firstly, living in the university dormitories is more convenient as compared to living with their family. In other words, those who live in a hostel can save time that normally students waste when commuting from college to house and house to college. Secondly, individuals who choose the hostel life also get exposure to different cultures, religions and races. For example, in the college campus there are many people who have come from different cities and have unique cultures. So, in this case hostel students have chance to gain knowledge about various cultures by communicating with dorm-mates that individuals who live with family don't experience.

In addition, staying on-campus also offers students the opportunity to become independent. As individuals who live far away from their parents must face a greater number of problems on their own, ranging from managing financial budgets, daily chores and finding part-time work to support themselves during this time. This helps them to develop a strong sense of self-reliance, which plays an important role in their later life. By contrast, if students live with family, then they stay dependent on their parents and some could become over-reliant. Finally, campus students also get better academic outcomes as they can share material and learning strategies with others that assist them to learn more than those who live in an off-campus house.

In conclusion, its seem to me that living on-campus is a far better option than living close to family after analyzing the pros and cons in the above paragraphs.
Md Nashir Uddon
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Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 10:54 am

Re: please evaluate my essay

Post by Md Nashir Uddon »

People are supposed to rely on their surroundings by birth. they are used to living altogether so as to make a nuclear or a extended family. certainly, they do this for the hope of learning our societal approach. However, I think on the whole, students who are getting involve into study need to be very close the college.

There are several benefits for the learners who are likely to occupy their residence into college campus. firstly, students would get a convenient and aesthetic ambiance for their better studies. actually, college campus is a laid back environment. they usually would be able to presume sharing attitudes among them. it is a very transitional point on how the students want to do well. they could discuss on a group based discussion as a way to find out a dynamic outcome where as the student who are living with parents are not supposed to get such of that opportunities. secondly, students who are living with parents have to consume a couple of times for going and coming. In addition, they might get interruption while staying their extended families by means of gathering a lot with siblings. Besides benefits, there are some drawbacks of staying hostels. Nowadays, some political harrasements are available at the campus. in spite of trying their best, sometimes students are not supposed to avoid fierce activities.

Students are habituated by the diverse attitudes at campus. consequently, with in a limited period, they would be able to accommodate themselves as well. they conquer a varieties of experiences as well as on how to grab the societal approaches.

In conclusion, Students have a deep relation with the college campus, especially for the study purpose. Having being distressed by the some ill behaviour, I think deeply in residing their college.
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