my first task 1....kindly evaluate

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zibs
Posts: 23
Joined: Wed May 31, 2017 1:38 pm

my first task 1....kindly evaluate

Post by zibs »

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Answer:

The diagram compares the proportion of Australian men and women involved in daily exercise across the various age groups for the year 2010.

Overall, it can be surmised from the chart that, in general, women are more physically active compared to men and that female aged 45-64 are the most active while men in the 35-44 age bracket are the least likely to be physically inclined.

In most age groups, females outperform the males barring the 15-24 category, with the difference being the greatest in the population aged 35-44 years, in which only 39.5% of males performed regular exercise as opposed to 52.5% of females.The involvement is almost identical for both the sexes in the age group 65 and above.

The physical activity of males declined significantly when they progressed from 15-24 (52.8%) age bracket to 35-44 yrs of age (39.5%) but it increased thereafter. As for the females, the participation levels increased from 47.7% in the teenagers to about 53.3% in those aged 45-54 and then decreased thereafter to 53% and 47.1% in the age group 55-64 and 65 and above respectively.
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David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: my first task 1....kindly evaluate

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

Overall, this is a very good report.

The biggest mistake is that you have decided to compare AND THEN describe the two lines individually. You can do either or leave the comparison for the overview, but the method you have chosen may lead to some repetition. However, it's not too serious in this case.

Vocabulary and grammar are both very good, with nice use of gerunds (-ing forms) and comparatives and superlatives.

Well done!
David
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