Seeking comment or advice on my essay regarding advantages and disadvantages

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sanba06c
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Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2016 4:02 am

Seeking comment or advice on my essay regarding advantages and disadvantages

Post by sanba06c »

Any comment or advice on my essay below is welcomed. Thank you and enjoy your weekend, folks ;) .

"Some people prefer renting than buying a home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting your home?"

It is true that renting a house is preferred by several people than buying a home. This essay will discuss some benefits of this choice and then analyze some drawbacks that may arise.

The primary advantage is that renting a house seems easy, flexible, and fast. That is to say, there are numerous apartments available for lease, which enables you to promptly choose the most suitable one. Furthermore, as a tenant you are not required to bear the maintenance cost of the rented house. For example, although my manager is very wealthy, he opted for living in a rented apartment. He advised that the house rental cost was cheaper compared to possessing a new house and it was very convenient for him to change his accommodation when necessary.

On the other hand, the main downside of this trend is that it is not considered a long-term investment. Besides, the landlord is entitled to lay down rules and increase the rental cost. Indeed, owning a house is really a long-term investment for your life. When renting a house, you are requested to obey all of the rules stipulated by its owner. For instance, a couple of years ago, when I was living in a rented house, I was not allowed to go out by 11:00 pm because the landlord usually closed the door beforehand. Also, the rental cost suddenly went up without any prior notice.

In conclusion, whilst renting a house can bring the benefits of convenience and cost efficiency, it can be deemed a short-term choice and lack of flexibility.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Re: Seeking comment or advice on my essay regarding advantages and disadvantages

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

I think you need to explain the 'easy, flexible and fast' aspects of renting. You assume that there a lot of properties available at good prices, which is not always the case! Many owners prefer to rent for longer periods, so 'flexible' may not be true either.

OK, so your points in the second main paragraph tend to support the view that it's not always flexible and easy.

The conclusion doesn't make clear which points in the main paragraphs you think are true and which are not. This is confusing.

Overall, not a good essay. The contradictions make it hard to understand what you mean. This is not helped by a lack of grammatical range and a lack of adverbs and other modifiers.

Vocabulary appears to be good, but is not used to create a coherent argument.

All the best,
David
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