Please rating (band 1-9) and comments into Task Response Coherence and Cohensive Grammatical range and accuracy Lexical

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MooChang
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Please rating (band 1-9) and comments into Task Response Coherence and Cohensive Grammatical range and accuracy Lexical

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Question from Cambridge,Practice Tests for, IELTS 1
Vanessa Jakeman
Clare McDowel

As part of a class assigment you have to write about the following topic:
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business,
hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the
future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious
of their benefits?
You should write at least 250 words.

Please rating (band 1-9) and comments into
Task Response
Coherence and Cohensive
Grammatical range and accuracy
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Nowadays, peoples living habits with computers anywhere and anytime which provide thousands of convenience for us. Meanwhile, our daily living was rapidly changed due to the computers intelligence adapted in our commercial activities, medical treatments, educational system and transportation system, these essential living habits were created large amounts of profit that caused many seriously crimes, such as scams, internet illegally personal data collections and so on. Therefore, “To be or not to be, that is the question” the computers technology pros and cons will interpret with concrete evidences in this essay as following.

However, the knowledge of computers which in order to improve human life and make our daily living better and better. The technology will develop more user friendly in our personally living. For instance, the smart phone which is the typically greatest invention, such electronic substance contained dozens of essential tools into a portable personal device. This smaller thing installed the telephone function for peoples easily communicate with each other. Furthermore, this can be installed many different kinds of software that the owner preferred to facilitate their commercial activities by email, shares stocks or bank. In additional, the mobile phone which installed educational software can carry out the teaching purposes. On the one hand, this greatest the technology can make human life becoming incredible.

Unfortunately, on the other hand the computers brought human dozens of problems, such as mainly crimes and interpersonal skills lost respectively. The crimes can be avoided by user educational to minimize but the interpersonal skills that caused seriously influence in different generations.

All in all, no needle have sharp in both end. Thus, the computers can be provided the marvelous things to our which also provided the negative badly affect to the improperly users. Peoples should alert to operate the computers technology and avoid the computers stopped human to loosing basically living skills.
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