Please Asses My Task 2 GT. Thank You!

[antsatno]

Question:
Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Answer:
People are more excited to visit this place due to the fact that, they can see variety of wild animals which they cannot see if zoos aren't present. However, on the other hand few people believe that zoo's shouldn't be constructed, as they interfere in the freedom on the wild animals. We will discuss both these views and give my opinion on this essay.

People who prefer zoos are the one who wants to see the wild animals like lion, tiger, cheetah in their real life. Apart from this, they also argue that zoos does takes care of wild animals too which won't be possible if they are in the forest. They also provide foods for the wild animals on daily basis and also takes care of medical treatment when they fell sick. Zoos also plays a vital role in taking precautionary steps to prevent the rare wild animal species to extinct. They also acts as a place for scientist to do their study research on these animals which will help them to collect few interesting information about them.

On the other hand, few people believe that the freedom of the wild animals are completely lost when they are kept inside the zoos. Apart from this, they also lose their wild characteristics by keeping them in an restricted life zone. They believe that hunting and deforestation are the two main reasons for endangering species hence government or forest authorities should take necessary steps by preventing them rather constructing zoos. Above all they also believe that at times people visiting the zoos also harm these animals which aren't really a good sign for them. Thus animals in the zoos loose their originality along with their freedom according to these people.

In conclusion, I second my outlook of letting the animals freely as per nature rather than keeping it in zoos despite legitimate reasons.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, a good essay, but there are some obvious ways of improving it.

1. Why do so many candidates think that wild animals only live in forests? Go to YouTube and you'll see this is simply not true, particularly for fish and dolphins! (And cheetahs don't live in forests either!)

2. "loose their originality"? I have heard a lot of people claim that animals like tigers lose their ability to hunt when they are kept in zoos. This makes me laugh (probably inappropriately) when I read about some dumb student climbing into the tiger cage at a zoo and getting killed or mauled! Doesn't seem like those tigers have lost their hunting ability if you ask me!

3. In the conclusion (and this is a point you MUST change!) you fail to explain why you think some reasons outweigh others. (This is not explained in the main paragraphs, either, but it must be in one or the other.)

4. The obvious point is look at examples of different animals. You do this a little in the first min paragraph, but not the second or the conclusion. Keeping gorillas in zoos may raise ethical questions, but with snakes this might not be the case.

Grammar and vocabulary are good, both in terms of range and accuracy.

All the best,
David

[antsatno]

Thanks a lot David. You feedback is really great for me to improve!

Thanks a ton