Please advice may exam next week

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raghadmamd
Posts: 45
Joined: Fri Nov 13, 2015 10:16 am

Please advice may exam next week

Post by raghadmamd »

Write about the following topic.

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience


Salary limit has recently become an issue of great debate. Many people think that the country will benefit it they devote very high salaries to certain groups, while others believe there should be a limit to the highest salary provided. In this essay, I will examine both points of views reaching to my own opinion.
On the one hand, those who support the theory of extreme high wages to special positions, such as ministers, bank managers, and judges, assume that this is the only method to decrease bribery in relation to their jobs which have critical roles in our societies. Moreover, most of the people who receive high salaries have a role in political decisions which may endanger their life by criminal threats so they need to be at least financially compensated. Another more reason, that they have many expenses compared to others. For example, traveling abroad to attend conferences and hiring private guards to protect them and their families.

On the other hand, proponents of the wage-limit idea claim that by given certain people very high payments that would impact the low-income employees. In other words, the government could make some balance in favor of increasing the low-income group. In addition, the huge difference of wages among workers in the same organization would lead to a feeling of discrimination and spreading of envying between them. Finally, as taxes are being collected at the same rate among tax-payers this may be felt as inequality, therefore, higher income people should share more.

To conclude, although both sides have valid reasons for their opinion, but I hold the belief of fixing a limit to wages would be more beneficial to the country.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Please advice may exam next week

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

The points mentioned in the first main paragraph may be country specific, so you should say which country you mean. (There is no problem with referring to problems or situations in your own country.)

The points you make are good and there is some good development. Vocabulary is good with some high level items, such as envying, critical roles, expenses, attend conferences, inequality. I suggest working on your grammar, both range and accuracy. The mistakes do not affect meaning, but try to avoid basic ones. Also try to use a wider variety of structures - regular readers of my posts will know that I am a big fan of conditionals!

Overall, though, well done!
David
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