task 2 response. appreciating your assessment

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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Hazem123
Posts: 11
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2017 3:06 pm

task 2 response. appreciating your assessment

Post by Hazem123 »

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old-fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money.
Which opinion do you agree with?


Throughout the years, having a career has always been an essential part of everyone’s life. There is now a controversy over the issue of having multiple careers, where many people now tend to support this idea. However, other refute this and prefer the traditional trend of having a single career. This essay will review both points of view before reaching a reasoned conclusion.

On one hand, some people claim that one should only possess a single career throughout his entire life. This might be justified by the fact that focusing on a single job presumably yields more successful outcomes. Some researchers have reported that having only one career, whether it is a medical or a trade one, usually boosts the productivity in that field. Despite seeming an outdated concept, more people are now realizing that this can have positive results. Thus, the benefits of having just one career are obviously illustrated.

On the other hand, other people believe that having a multitude of careers and income sources appear to be a much better approach. For instance, in the third world countries, most jobs are not well-paid. Consequently, people resort to getting more than one job to fulfill their financial needs. Moreover, this is regarded by some people to be a new fashion that can be followed effectively especially by people who earn money by doing online jobs other than their main full-time jobs. This clearly shows the advantages of having more than one career.

All in all, after analyzing the above-mentioned opinions that seem quite convincing, one is inclined to believe in the benefits offered by having multiple jobs due to the reasons explained beforehand.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: task 2 response. appreciating your assessment

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

The points are not well-developed, especially in the first main paragraph. Why is productivity boosted? Why is considered an outdated concept? Why does the second main paragraph show the advantages of having more than one career?

How did you reach your conclusion? Why does the second main paragraph present a better argument than the first?

Vocabulary is poorly-used. The range of grammatical structures is limited.

All the best,
David
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