kindly assess my task 2 thanks.

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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tinalongmao
Posts: 29
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2016 7:33 am

kindly assess my task 2 thanks.

Post by tinalongmao »

Some people suggest that universities should accept the same number of male and female students in every subject. Do you agree or disagree? Why?

To show an unbiased attitude towards male and female students, numbers of male and female students taken by universities are expected to be equivalent in every subject, which I think, is far from feasible

A required equal distribution violates universities’ right to select students. It is possible that these educational institutions are exclusively in favor of one of genders, so that they could balance the number of male and female students, while there are plenty of elites in a certain subject from the other gender group. This can be harmful to universities as it may affect their academic performance and further pull down their overall rankings.

Meanwhile, men and women show talents in various territories. For instance, male students are more intelligent in calculation and programming, thus, they are more likely to generate a good result in subjects like mathematics and computer engineering. Whereas, female students are excellent in literatures and languages, so they can stand out in subjects like history and English.

All in all, it is not reasonable taking distribution of gender in subjects as a standard to weigh whether male and female students are treated equally or not. As long as universities accept students qualified in a certain territory no matter which gender they are, it presents equality.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: kindly assess my task 2 thanks.

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

The second main paragraph is a mess. Terrible overgeneralisations! No evidence!

The first main paragraph is reasonable but a little more development and precision would be a good idea.

Vocabulary is a mix - good in parts, bad in others. Be precise!

Grammar is generally ok, but there is not much range and there are still some basic errors.

The basis of a good essay is certainly here, but at the moment it is average at best.

All the best,
David
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