Task 2 (pros and cons of allowing children to work{opinion essay})

[Aky]

#1
The last fifty years have seen a dramatic increase in the engagement of children in some sort of paid work. There are widely differing views on the topic of whether allowing children to work may bring benefits or not. However, it is my personal conviction that the overall drawbacks of working in early age far outweigh its advantages. In the following essay I am going to support why some sorts of paid work play less crucial role for all children.

To begin with, with some people claiming that some kinds of work take a heavy toll on the education of children. This means that children are got paid for their work and this might distract children’s attention from studying subjects to earning money. Moreover, supporters of not allowing children to work are mainly concerned with the safety of children. In their age, children are more likely to be convinced easily to do something, and this then poses a risk for both children themselves as well as parents. One particularly salient example of this is Human Trafficking which is considered to be criminal exploitation around the world. Thus, this makes clear that there are more drawbacks of allowing children to work in their early age than benefits.

Nevertheless, it is often said that children should start working early as much as possible because this leads children to have work experience, and take the responsibility of their education in schools. For instance, children can practice their skills lively and grasp the importance of education. Furthermore, it might be said that it would be much better to permit children to work in terms of becoming victim of gangs which are taking place in the recent years against younger people. By this way, parents are able to prevent their children from being involved in some sorts of crimes.

In conclusion, there are many possible drawbacks even criminal acts are involved this process. As regards my view, I completely disagree with permitting children to engage in some sorts of got paid work.

(332 Words)

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

A reasonable essay, but you only get to the core issue in the conclusion, i.e. too late! Which sorts of work is it appropriate for children to do? What age should the children be? These are the points that will distinguish an average essay from a good or very good one.

Vocabulary is good and there is a reasonable range of grammar. There are not too many errors and meaning is clear despite them.

All the best,
David