Please Asses My Task 2 General Writing. Thank You!

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
antsatno
Posts: 38
Joined: Sat Jan 21, 2017 6:01 am

Please Asses My Task 2 General Writing. Thank You!

Post by antsatno »

Question:
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single . Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Answer:
When the job application is filled, several employers ask personal information like hobbies, martial status about the employee. This had becomes a standard practice for the employers in the recent days. Even though it had become a mandatory step to be performed by the job seekers, many thinks that collecting such information is still an irrelevant task. We will discuss few examples to draw a conclusion on this.

From the employers view point, collecting personal informations like hobbies, interests will be relevant and useful to match their job description. Also, it will help them to set a carrier path for the employee or the job seeker in longer run. For example, if the job seeker had given his or her interest in Human resource field, the organisation or the employer can set a well defined carrier path or find appropiate job roles within the organisation for the employee. Thus collecting informations like job seeker's interests will be relevant and useful for both employers and for the job seekers.

On the other hand,collecting personal information like martial status from the job seekers is completely irrelevant. For example, if the job seeker's martial status is widow, the employer can do nothing about it with this information. Collecting such information from the job seeker can also affect their personal feelings in this particular case. Since employer can't use this information effectively for the job requirements, collecting such information is completely irrelevant.

To conclude, collecting personal informations from the job seekers has many advantages than disadvantages. Employers who really wants to groom their employee should collect personal informations like hobbies, interest from the job seekers. However, getting informations like martial status from the job seekers is completely irrelevant to the employers as we had discussed.
saqibali
Posts: 452
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:56 am

Re: Please Asses My Task 2 General Writing. Thank You!

Post by saqibali »

antsatno wrote: Fri Mar 03, 2017 6:04 pm Question:
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single . Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Answer:
These days, When the ( a) job application is filled, several employers ask(question) personal information like hobbies, martial status about the employee. This had(has) becomes a standard practice for the employers in the recent days. Even though it had become a mandatory step to be performed by the job seekers(even though its a mandatory requirements from job seekers), many thinks that collecting such information is still an irrelevant task. We will discuss few examples to draw a conclusion on this( before sides are being analyzed below before reaching a reasoned conclusion).

From the employers view point, collecting personal informations like hobbies, interests will be relevant and useful to match their job description(to determine how well they fit into company's environment). Also, it will help them to set a carrier path for the employee or the job seeker in longer run. For example, if the job seeker had given his or her interest in Human resource field, the organisation or the employer can set a well defined carrier path or find appropiate job roles within the organisation for the employee. Thus collecting informations like job seeker's interests will be relevant and useful for both employers and for the job seekers.

The above paragraph is clearly out of topic. Personal information is not asked for career fit. You should have discussed how personal information like hobbies help to match chemistry of a new person with the company.

On the other hand,collecting personal information like martial (Please check spellings) status from the job seekers is ( considered as ) completely irrelevant. For example, if the job seeker's martial status is widow, the employer can do nothing about it with this information. Collecting such information from the job seeker can also affect their personal feelings in this particular case. Since employer can't use this information effectively for the job requirements, collecting such information is completely irrelevant.

To conclude, collecting personal informations from the job seekers has many advantages than disadvantages. Employers who really wants to groom their employee should collect personal informations like hobbies, interest from the job seekers. However, getting informations like martial status from the job seekers is completely irrelevant to the employers as we had discussed.
Tactic: I believe if you plan well, you can write much better essay.
Limited free classes and unlimited best IELTS material at below link
https://www.facebook.com/pages/IELTS-No ... 3123916148
antsatno
Posts: 38
Joined: Sat Jan 21, 2017 6:01 am

Re: Please Asses My Task 2 General Writing. Thank You!

Post by antsatno »

Hi,

Thanks a lot for the reply. I hope I had increased my essay's cohesion and coherence this time. So kindly let me know.

Yeah one paragraph went in off topic direction. Will take care of this. Yes I can write better essays if I plan well. Thanks for bringing it to my notice.

Thanks again.
User avatar
Flick
Grammar Checker
Grammar Checker
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Please Asses My Task 2 General Writing. Thank You!

Post by Flick »

antsatno wrote: Fri Mar 03, 2017 6:04 pm Question:
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single . Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Answer:
When a job application is created, some employers ask for personal information like hobbies, marital status, etc. This has become a standard practice for employers in recent times. Even though it has become a mandatory step for job seekers, many think that collecting such information is still an irrelevant task. This essay will discuss some examples before drawing a conclusion on this.

From the employers viewpoint, collecting personal information like hobbies and interests will be relevant and useful to match their job description. Also, it will help them to set a career path for the employee in the long run. For example, if the job seeker had stated an interest in the human resource field, the employer can set a well-defined career path or find appropiate roles within the organisation for the employee. Thus collecting information like the job seeker's interests will be relevant and useful for both employers and for the job seekers.

On the other hand, collecting personal information like marital status is completely irrelevant. For example, if the job seeker's marital status is widow, the employer can do nothing with this information. Collecting such information from the job seeker can also affect their personal feelings in this particular case. Since the employer can't use this information effectively for the job requirements, collecting such information is completely irrelevant.

To conclude, collecting personal information from job seekers has more advantages than disadvantages. Employers who really want to groom their employee should collect personal information like hobbies and interests from the job seekers. However, getting information like marital status from the job seekers is completely irrelevant to the employer as discussed.
Post Reply