Task 1 attempt, please rate it

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Xterms
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2017 1:22 am

Task 1 attempt, please rate it

Post by Xterms »

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of
the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years
2002 and 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and
make comparisons where relevant


The upper chart shows the possession of computers in a certain population, while the lower graph demonstrates the ownership rates groupped by level of education, both given in percentages. Both charts operate with data from 2002 to 2010.

The overall percent of the computer-owning subgroup shows a steady incrase throughout the years, as well as the numbers in the isolated groups based on the education level.

The first charts shows that in 2002, slightly more than 50% on the population possessed a computer, which exceeded 70% by 2010, with a firm upward trend till that point.

Based on the second chart, the rates increased parallel to the level of education as well, but the difference through the eight years shows a decrement in the same direction. The subgroup without a high school diploma started from around 15% in computer ownership rate, which grew over 40% by 2010, while the 75% computer-owning postgraduate degree holders only increased by roughly 15% through the eight years. High school graduates, peers with incomplete college education and Bachelor's degree holders fall between the aforementioned end-point subgroups, and in this order, show and increment in computer-possession and decreasing difference between 2002 and 2010.
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David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Task 1 attempt, please rate it

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

There are a couple of key problems with this report. First, the overview, which I assume is the second paragraph, is not very clear. I think that you have spotted the key trend in the second diagram, but you haven't expressed yourself well. Isolated?

The second problem is that you have used change language incorrectly in the last paragraph, e.g. grew. You have also used words incorrectly or unclearly, e.g. decrement and increment.

Overall, a reasonable report, but certainly not worthy of a good score.

All the best,
David
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