kindly assess my task 1 many thanks!

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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tinalongmao
Posts: 29
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2016 7:33 am

kindly assess my task 1 many thanks!

Post by tinalongmao »

The table below shows the result of a survey about satisfaction by gender groups in terms of club’s activities, facilities and opening hours in a city sports club.

It seems that women were pickier about the diversity in activities, comparing with men, with 30% of women frowning to ranges of activities, 6 times as much as the proportion in men group for the same subject. While the rest two levels of satisfaction owned an even proportion in female group, men, at a general level, are content with current activity ranges, as over half of male members showing “very satisfied”, at 55%, and 40% “satisfied”.

It’s clear that facilities provided by this club overall, were reasonable. Satisfaction from different gender groups to this subject showed an almost same distribution. In both groups, over 60% members gave the highest comment, more than 20% showed satisfied, only less than 15% still thought facilities needed to supplement.

As for opening hours, seems the time table was nearly perfect for women while not that appropriate for men, as 72% of women was very satisfied, only 44% of men agreed, approximately half as much as percentage of women with the same subject. While the difference between two genders in group under the name of “satisfied” was moderate, the difference in “dissatisfied” group was relatively noticeable, nearly 40% of men whining about the time schedule, over 10 times as much as women side that figure for the same item was less than 5%.

Overall, while service should be improved in the range of activities from women’s points of view, adjustment of opening hours was highly required by men group. The facility was admitted to be reasonably good by both groups.
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David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: kindly assess my task 1 many thanks!

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

All main points covered.

Most of the report seems clear, though the second paragraph has severe grammatical issues. The vocabulary is often incorrect - owned, show, distribution, comment, supplement, appropriate, noticeable, highly required, admitted.

So, overall, the main issues are with the language used whilst the data is relatively clear.

All the best,
David
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