Task 2. Effects of global warming. Please evaluate

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HelenSun
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Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2017 12:33 pm

Task 2. Effects of global warming. Please evaluate

Post by HelenSun »

Your valueable feedback is needed regarding vocabulary range, grammar, response understanding, mistakes and etc.
Many thanks in advance

Question:
Global warming is one of the biggest threats to our environment. What causes global warming? What effects are there to this problem.

Response:
In the recent years, global warming is becoming more and more threating problem to nature and mankind in the world. Althoug it is still debated by many, it is felt that human factor makes the major impact on the environment and causes global warming. In this essay, it will be reviewed this cause and possible effects to this global issue.

Firstly, it is believed that human activities around the world cause global warming. For instance, according to the website Wikipedia, carbon gases emissions, wich emitted as a result of fossil fuel firing in industry, contribute to accumulation of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere more and more every day. As this example shows, further expanding of manufacture working on fossil fuel can led to an extremly tremendous threat to the environment as well as to humanity as a whole. Following this, it is obvious that immediate steps should be done in international level to limit such type of business and as a result, to eliminate developing of negative consequences.

Unfortunately, consequences of global warming are absolutely negative and worring. For example, the nature gives own first signs about it through environmental cataclysms, such as floods, storms, wildfires, wich are becoming more frequent in the last time. To make things worse, one more evidence is the rise in level of the world's sea which threatens low lying lands. When looking at these evidences, it is clear that these effects of global warming can be potentially devastating.

In conclusion, following everything mentioned above, it is clear that industry working on fossil fuel is a potentially great threat to the environment as well as humanity and it can led to global consequences, particularly nature cataclysms and loss of inhabited lands. Hence, governments of all countries in the world should undertake prompt actions to reduce such industry in order to avoid these terribly undesirable consequences in foreseeable future.
David.IELTS.Examiner
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Re: Task 2. Effects of global warming. Please evaluate

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

First main paragraph, second sentence - CO2 IS a greenhouse gas, so saying CO2 leads to more greenhouse gases ...

That example does not demonstrate a 'tremendous' threat. (At the very least, you have missed out some other steps.) Therefore the following sentence is not logically coherent.

Absolutely negative? So, if global warming causes an area to get warmer, allowing farmers to grow more food, how is that negative?

How do you know that storms, floods, etc. are more common nowadays? I doubt you have any statistics beyond the last few hundred years, and the Earth s way older than that ...

Conclusion - And what undesirable consequences would reducing industry have?

Grammar and vocabulary are good, but you have failed to create a coherent argument.

All the best,
David
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Flick
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Re: Task 2. Effects of global warming. Please evaluate

Post by Flick »

HelenSun wrote: Mon Feb 13, 2017 10:11 am
Question:
Global warming is one of the biggest threats to our environment. What causes global warming? What effects are there to this problem.

Response:
In recent years, global warming has become a greater problem to nature and mankind all over the world. Although it is still debated by many, it is felt that the human factor makes a major impact on the environment and causes global warming. In this essay, the cause and possible effects of this global issue will be reviewed.

Firstly, it is believed that human activities around the world cause global warming. For instance, according to the website Wikipedia, carbon gas emissions, which are emitted as a result of fossil fuel burning in various industries, contribute to the accumulation of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere more and more every day. As this example shows, further expanding of manufacture working on fossil fuel can led to an extremly tremendous threat to the environment as well as to humanity as a whole.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) Following this, it is obvious that immediate steps should be taken on an international level to limit such businesses and as a result, to eliminate the development of negative consequences.

Unfortunately, the consequences of global warming are absolutely negative and worrying. For example, nature has given the first signs of trouble through environmental cataclysms such as floods, storms, and wildfires, which are becoming more frequent in recent years. To make things worse, the rise in the level of the world's sea is threatening low lying lands. When looking at this evidence, it is clear that these effects of global warming can be potentially devastating.

In conclusion, following everything mentioned above, it is clear that industries that use fossil fuel iscreating a great threat to the environment as well as humanity, which can lead to global consequences, particularly natural disasters and loss of inhabited lands. Hence, governments of all countries in the world should undertake prompt actions to reduce such industries in order to avoid these terribly undesirable consequences in the foreseeable future.
HelenSun
Posts: 29
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2017 12:33 pm

Re: Task 2. Effects of global warming. Please evaluate

Post by HelenSun »

Thank you very much.
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