Writing task 2 please assess my writing,thank you!

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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carinawanglan
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2016 10:12 am

Writing task 2 please assess my writing,thank you!

Post by carinawanglan »

Students learn more from their school teachers than from other sources such as the internet or television. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?

Diverse learning methods has been emerged, and students now can learn through a variety of technological sources, such as the Internet and television, whereas they mostly learn from their school teachers a few years ago. In my opinion, I think it is difficult to tell whether a student learn more from his school teacher or from other resources.

When it comes to learning academic subjects, it is true that students acquire more academic knowledge from their teachers. As teachers are professional in their respective fields, they are certainly able to provide students with knowledge that students need to gain for exams as well as a lot of valuable information which students show interests in. It has been always seen in many classes that a students ask a related question after the teacher has finished teaching the concepts. In this way, students learn not only professional knowledge but also some interesting facts.

Today's society has been dramatically changed, and technology plays an essential role in both teaching and generating interests. Unlike tradition schooling only following the course outline, television has exposed students to a wide range of knowledge and gives the youth chances to explore their interests and expand their views. Viewing documentaries with either peers or parents together gives the student the opportunity to voice out their opinions and listen to others' thoughts. In this case, they gain different perspectives and learn more from the television.Also, as learning from the television is much fun and relaxing, it is easy for students to focus and learn. Besides, many televisions contain varied information, therefore, more doors open up for students, which enable them to explore other fields other than academic subjects.

To conclude, this question greatly depends on how a student prefer to study. If one likes to study at school, then he will most likely spend most time on learning from teachers and studying the notes. However, I believe it would be a great idea to apply the method of television teaching and encourage adolescents to be more accessible to different knowledge.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Writing task 2 please assess my writing,thank you!

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

Overall, not a bad essay, but I don't think that you have really distinguished learning from TV and learning from a teacher. Maybe you don't think there are really any differences. The only thing you've mentioned is that TV is more fun and interesting. But surely some teachers are very good at making classes fun and interesting.

Grammar and vocabulary are quire good, both in terms of range and accuracy.

All the best,
David
carinawanglan
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2016 10:12 am

Re: Writing task 2 please assess my writing,thank you!

Post by carinawanglan »

Thank you so much for your reply.
Can you give me suggestions as to how I improve my range of sentence structures?
Thank you in advance.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Writing task 2 please assess my writing,thank you!

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

1. conditionals - all types!
2. clauses - relative and not
3. participle clauses - Being ... / Built ...

All the best,
David
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